Let down

LegacyUser

Hi everyone. Sorry in advance for the long post. Not sure how to start. Anyway when I was in secondary school I was bullied. Now I know that lots of people experience this in school so I am not trying to make out that I am any different but the bullying was quite severe, e.g. being pushed around, kicked, being completely ignored, stuff being thrown at me when a teacher was out of the class, comments being made about my clothes, shoes, colour of skin, etc. notes being written about me and passed around, etc. (I'm a girl btw) Anyway my mother sort of knew what was happening towards the end of first year and I came right out and told her everything in second year. She went to the school about it and they called the class in, spoke to them, etc. and told me everything would be different from now on. Suprise, suprise it wasn't one bit different, it was worse if anythin. Most days nobody even said hello to me and if I spoke to them they just laughed. Anyway I stuck at it and finished the junior cert. (During the junior cert exams someone from my class came in just before an exam had started and drew their boot on stuff I had on the ground, pencil case, etc. sending if to the far end of the room, much to the amusement of the rest of the class). By the start of fourth year it was getting too much for me. I broke down and begged my mother to change me to a different school. She said she would and then went to speak to the teachers who once again told her they would sort it out. She came back to me and told me she wanted me to give it another go despite my plea to move. She said that I shouldn't "let them win". Anyway the next two years were the same as the ones before. I ended up having no friends from school and my self confidence was nil. I am 21 now and still have no friends around here and therefore absolutely no social life. The reason I'm posting is that I am feeling more down about this as the weeks and months go by and I find that I have so much anger and resentment towards my mother for not changing schools when I begged her to. I did speak to a counsellor about this a couple of years ago but tbh I din't find it very useful. I would really appreciate any advice.

Virgil°

Thats awful to hear.I think everyone can appreciate just how dreadful it is to be bullied to some extent.
But dont let it get to you anymore.Look towards the future. Your bullying was a result of a very childish mentality on your peers behalf which you will find is not really put up with beyond secondry school.
Do you have any hobbies? Find a club that interests you and join it. Thats the best way to meet new folk.
Good luck.

invadernim

You poor pet!

Was it an all girls school you went to or a mixed one?

Sometimes, the schools play down the bullying when talking to parents & assure them that its just a case of "girls falling out" and that could be the case with your mother.

I would suggest writing everything down, everything you were feeling & are feeling now (because it can be very hard to articulate your thoughts when dealing with hurt on so many levels). Use this then as a base for the conversation you must have with your mother or if you can't talk to her, send it to her as a letter. You may find when getting her side of it that she was being told things by the school that was contrary to what you were telling her.

Are you in college at the moment or working btw?

Grawns

Don't blame you for feeling resentful. School can be hell. It will fade with time though. Yes your Mum made a mistake. Forgive her.

You need to concentrate on the positives. You're out of school now. Can't you try to make friends at work, college. Take up a sport, join a club. Get active rather than brooding and blaming your Mum ( who is only human) for your current misery.

anony mouse

would you have any hobbies, like do you play sports (for example)
If you did play sports, such as football? As I know there are a few astro turn leagues around. Just thinking this would maybe be something you could join, and get to know a few people.

Sorry to hear that you were badly bullied in school.

Maybe you could let us know if you had any hobbies and people might be able to suggest how you could get to know some people.

LegacyUser

Hi guys thanks for the quick responses. I know I have to try to put it behind me and move on. I have talked to my mother about it before. She says she thought she was doing what was best and she didn't want me to give them the satisfaction of thinking they had pushed me out but I just keep thinking that I wouldn't care if they had a couple of days satisfaction if it meant I had been happy somewhere else. She knew a lot of the teachers from the school quite well also which I don't think helped matters. I would love to get out and meet people. I really wouldn't mind what sport it was, I would give it a go. (I'm in the Westmeath area btw) I do find that I am awful nervous around people now though. I don't know what to say, am worried they won't like me or talk to me, etc. I know this probably sounds irrational but its how I feel.