Girlfriend troubles

LegacyUser

Heh,

Im going out with a girl the past 7 months, I have a bit of a problem tho and me and my girlfriend are on the verge of breaking up. Problem is I found out she slept with another girl and I cant seem to get it out of my head. I love her to bits and she loves me i know that. But im always afraid now that she will go with another girl if the oppotunity arrose.

Me my friend and our 2 girlfriends moved in together and now im afraid there gonna get with each other. because there at the house every day and were working. I dunno how to get this out of my head. Were both in our early 20's can this still work?

wylo

Im a bit confused, are you a bloke or a lesbian girl?

Who are you afraid your girlfriend is going to get with?

chevy

Trust, it's all about trust. If you can't trust your GF you might as well finish it now.

Abi

wylo wrote: »

Im a bit confused, are you a bloke or a lesbian girl?

Who are you afraid your girlfriend is going to get with?

Ive a feeling its a bloke, and I gather hes afraid his g/f will sleep with his mates g/f while hes at work.. I think..


Well I think you are just going to have a chat with her. About how it came about, and what she wants from a relationship with you OP.

I'd say it was a one-off, but only she can tell you that. Tell her how you feel about her, and how hurt you would be if it happened again. If she thought she was capable of doing it again, you should probably walk imo.

Miss Fluff

Dis she sleep with this girl while in a relationship with you or did this happen before you guys got together?

AARRRGH

Your post isn't very clear, but if I understand correctly she had a lesbian fling before you were together.

I'm guessing she was with men before you were together too?

Everyone has a history, she's with you now, stop worrying and start trusting her.

Loads of girls are bisexual. It means nothing.

m83

I'm going to assume you're a guy. I'm also going to asume that she believed it ok for her to sleep with a girl becaue of the novelty factor or it was a fanstasy of hers. Anyway this is complete nonsense and just as equally valid a reason to dump her if she was with another guy.

Move on, she doesn't respect you.

AckwelFoley

The gender of the OP is irrelavent.

Eating is cheating, and if they are in a relationship together this is not acceptable.

You have 2 options, confront the issue head on, or simply move on. Personally i dont think you should stay with this girl, if shes sheated once she will do it again.

gamblitis

m83 Are you actually serious? She had a lesbian fling before they got together and you think that she doesn't respect him? Maybe it wasa drunken mistake and who says she doesn't regret it all the time?

I think your overreacting a little with thinking she is gonna get with your roommate.Just coz she did it before is no indication that she would do it again. Have trust in her and in your friends and you might finding yourself relaxing a little more. Just try and keep an open relationship so your mind can always be at ease. Hope things work out ok.

lauratkd

Why do so many people on these boards always seem to say "there's no trust/she doesn't respect you .... leave her".

If she was with this other girl while with you then yes you have a reason to not trust her fully. However if you really do love her then maybe it's worth working for. Don't always give up on relationships so easily. You do have to believe that you can get past this though and work at it.

If she was with this other girl before you then, come on, get real!!! Just because she's slept with one girl doesn't mean she's going to fancy every bit of skirt she comes across. Why would you think that your girlfriend and the other girl in the house (who are both in relationships) would get it on? This seems a bit far fetched for me!

Attol

If she got with a girl before you two got together then you have no reason to be upset. She probably had sex with other guys before too. The chances of her going off with another girl would be the exact same as her going off with another guy. If she loves you then you'll be enough for her. Just because she's bisexual doesn't mean she's a slut! People have to get over that crazy idea that if you're anything but straight you're somehow more likely to sleep around. It makes absolutely no sense!

m83

gamblitis wrote: »

m83 Are you actually serious? She had a lesbian fling before they got together and you think that she doesn't respect him? Maybe it wasa drunken mistake and who says she doesn't regret it all the time?

I think your overreacting a little with thinking she is gonna get with your roommate.Just coz she did it before is no indication that she would do it again. Have trust in her and in your friends and you might finding yourself relaxing a little more. Just try and keep an open relationship so your mind can always be at ease. Hope things work out ok.

Chill!! I took it that the OP's gf slept with this girl when they were going out with eachother, if that's not the case then fair play but it's not explicitly implied. Little help OP?

Abi

Im not sure if I've missed something.. the original post doesnt mention the girl-on-girl happening before the relationship.

If that is the situation, it blows the OP's case right out of the water.

Especially as a 20 something. Women are far more experimental these days, and it doesnt mean they are forever at risk of diving into the sack with another woman.

Again, I say - talk to your g/f OP. Theres only one way to find out.

LegacyUser

sorry for not replying any sooner

My girlfriend never cheated she was single at the time it was in her 2nd year of college. I dont have a problem the fact that the has had the experience but what she told me every girl doesnt have the same experience in my opinion.

She said she slept with the other girl, they were both drunk at the time. At the start it kinda turned me on but now im afraid that she might cheat on me with another girl more so a bloke.

I know im over reacting but i just cant get it out of my head now. I wish I could just get the fact out of my head but its hard when im at work and shes at home all the time.

Sometimes I think she likes to plesure herself, I came on to her about it and she said she hasnt in the last 2 months but I get the feeling she still does and I thought our sex life was good. We would have intercourse most nights so I cant see why she would need to.

How can i tell if she is bisexual?

Sorry for my short reply, its just I have no time at the minute to write a more detailed one. Thanks for all the comment.

And im a bloke by the way.

Irishcrx

My girlfriend started to have similar feelings with girls, she talked to me about it and said she was attracted to girls but would never cheat on me, but she would like to expierience being with another girl...I told her that if it's something she needed to do then she should go do it and i'd be ok with it and here's why.

If this is something she can't help i'd prefer her to be sure about it and i'll know now rather than 10 years down the line. The chances of her cheating on you are the same as she would with a fella really, if this is a new thing to her it may just be a phase it is far more acceptable these days for two girls to sleep with other as opposed to two blokes.

Cyrus

Unreg 1234 wrote: »

sorry for not replying any sooner

My girlfriend never cheated she was single at the time it was in her 2nd year of college. I dont have a problem the fact that the has had the experience but what she told me every girl doesnt have the same experience in my opinion.

She said she slept with the other girl, they were both drunk at the time. At the start it kinda turned me on but now im afraid that she might cheat on me with another girl more so a bloke.

I know im over reacting but i just cant get it out of my head now. I wish I could just get the fact out of my head but its hard when im at work and shes at home all the time.

Sometimes I think she likes to plesure herself, I came on to her about it and she said she hasnt in the last 2 months but I get the feeling she still does and I thought our sex life was good. We would have intercourse most nights so I cant see why she would need to.

How can i tell if she is bisexual?

Sorry for my short reply, its just I have no time at the minute to write a more detailed one. Thanks for all the comment.

And im a bloke by the way.

is this not a great opportunity for you

Loomis

lauratkd wrote: »

Why do so many people on these boards always seem to say "there's no trust/she doesn't respect you .... leave her".

If she was with this other girl while with you then yes you have a reason to not trust her fully. However if you really do love her then maybe it's worth working for. Don't always give up on relationships so easily. You do have to believe that you can get past this though and work at it.

Because cheating shows a complete lack of respect, love, consideration and any other selfish thing possible. So why would you afford them a second chance when they clearly don't give a ****? That isn't giving up on a relationship - that's doing a natural thing of getting rid of someone who is hurting you. Nor is it remotely near giving up easily. Giving up easily - "you're such a spa". "Oh noes, it's over". Not giving up easily - "Hey, honey, I cheated". "Goodluck bitch". Just thought an example might highlight how stupid it is to say you're giving up easily when a partner cheats on you and you end the relationship. And just some fortune cookie crap, albeit true, the person doing the cheating was the one giving up easily on the relationship because they didn't control a rush of blood through their body.
:rolleyes:

OP - I can see why you'd be uncomfortable knowing your girlfriend may be attracted to women. I can see why knowing she slept with a girl is unnerving alright but the fact she didn't cheat means she did nothing wrong and you either have to deal with it or end it if it's too much to process. You're afraid she may cheat because she may like girls. But she may cheat with a guy and you definitely know she likes guys. I know it's obviously different if she cheated on you with a girl rather than a guy but there's no real difference or point in worrying about the possibility of her cheating with a girl over a guy. If you're going to worry about it you may as well worry about it being a guy. Rather than worry about it I'd ask you do you know has she ever cheated on past boyfriends either with a guy or girl. If so that'd be the reason to worry about her possibly cheating in the future. Otherwise you don't really have a reason to be thinking this.
If you can't deal with the idea of her being with a girl in the past then end it. It will only cause problems. If you can then there's no reason to assume she will cheat with a girl so everything should be ok.

Commonsense

Unreg 1234 wrote: »

sorry for not replying any sooner

My girlfriend never cheated she was single at the time it was in her 2nd year of college. I dont have a problem the fact that the has had the experience but what she told me every girl doesnt have the same experience in my opinion.

She said she slept with the other girl, they were both drunk at the time. At the start it kinda turned me on but now im afraid that she might cheat on me with another girl more so a bloke.

I know im over reacting but i just cant get it out of my head now. I wish I could just get the fact out of my head but its hard when im at work and shes at home all the time.

Sometimes I think she likes to plesure herself, I came on to her about it and she said she hasnt in the last 2 months but I get the feeling she still does and I thought our sex life was good. We would have intercourse most nights so I cant see why she would need to.

How can i tell if she is bisexual?

Sorry for my short reply, its just I have no time at the minute to write a more detailed one. Thanks for all the comment.

And im a bloke by the way.

1. she has not cheated - but if you dont trust her there is no point in carrying on the relationship
2. its not only blokes who 'pleasure' themselves.
3. if you are insecure with yourself maybe confide in GF to help boost your esteem
4. at the end of the day she is with YOU - she choose YOU. If she wanted someone else (male or female) she would not be with YOU

Overheal

Unreg 1234 wrote: »

Sometimes I think she likes to plesure herself, I came on to her about it and she said she hasnt in the last 2 months but I get the feeling she still does and I thought our sex life was good. We would have intercourse most nights so I cant see why she would need to.

Are you saying since the start of the relationship you have never masturbated? Its a common misconception, but woman can at times have equal or even stronger sex drives than guys. Scary I know, but thats what I have been informed of :pac:

How can i tell if she is bisexual?

Well short of an anisotropic-sexuality-radar-snooper-dongle... you can't.

But perhaps instead of trying to repress this in her, you could encourage her to explore it and find out. If she'd not, She's not. If she is, you may have to define the relationship. But I think all you can do is allow her to explore that.

There is the obviousness of 'threesome', but there are other ways too. I had a Bi friend; her boyfriend strangely enough had no trouble in going in drag to satisfy her bi-curiosities. Weird couple indeed but they were definitely very secure with each other.

Fiona24

I really dont see how it's a problem that she masturbates, she certainly isn't the only girl to do that. Im in a steady relationship and I still do it mainly because i don't get to see my boyfriend on a regular basis. Are you saying that since you've been with this girl you've never masturbated yourself? You've said that she's never cheated on you so why don't you trust her. If you don't have trust in a relationship what basis is there to the relationship for the future?

IrishMike

OP honestly you need to grow up.
She has not cheated and she has given no reason for you to think that she will.
What on earth is the problem here?
So what she was with another girl, they were drunk and it happened.
I would hate to see you will handle an actual problem in the relationship
My advice is cop on and forget it

goodlad

IrishMike wrote: »

OP honestly you need to grow up.
She has not cheated and she has given no reason for you to think that she will.
What on earth is the problem here?
So what she was with another girl, they were drunk and it happened.
I would hate to see you will handle an actual problem in the relationship
My advice is cop on and forget it

I totally agree with those comments!
From what have read your GF has done 100% nothing to make you think she will cheat on you.
Tbh you just seem paranoid for no reason at all. You seem the have labeled the person you claim to love a a "cheater" with absolutely no reason. You need to snap out of it or *your* going to destroy your relationship