Frustrated BF

BlackMamba

Okay, this problem doesn't bother me (that much) but it's really annoying my bf.
We've been going out for a while and he's being trying to make me orgasm,via fingers, but it's just not working. He was so close so many times but then..nothing!!
Now, he's "on a mission" (his words, not mine) to make me come. I blame myself...I must be broken or something. But he's blaming himself!.:(
Tried to tell him that it doesn't matter to me but he won't believe me!

uberwolf

can you / do you come by yourself?

Oryx

Or do you come by any other method?

Nothing worse for ruining the mood than a man on a mission. He should be enjoying the ride rather than racing for the destination.

AARRRGH

Tell him to research the female orgasm. He'll see its a lot less about technique and a lot more about the female brain. If you're not mentally able to have an orgasm with someone else, it won't matter what he does.

axer

Masturbate and cum by yourself first a few times and when you are comfortable then masturbate and cum in front of him.

If you do not know how best to make you cum it is harder for someone else to and you cannot explain what you like.

He will learn by watching you.

Sherifu

A man on a mission isn't the best way to approach it. Show him how you do it and then make him take his time.

BlackMamba

KtK wrote: »

Nothing worse for ruining the mood than a man on a mission. He should be enjoying the ride rather than racing for the destination.

That's pretty much what I told him. I try to get him relaxed but he won't...he's too busy concentrating on me. I had to practically restrain him so he'd relax and have some fun himself.

challengemaster

Well.. atleast he's caring about making you orgasm! that's a major +

relax, have fun.. masturbating infront of eachother might be good too...

AARRRGH

challengemaster wrote: »

Well.. atleast he's caring about making you orgasm! that's a major +

Not trying to be a **** stirrer, but is it because he cares about her, or because its damaging his ego?

BlackMamba

dublindude wrote: »

Not trying to be a **** stirrer, but is it because he cares about her, or because its damaging his ego?

That's what I'm worried about. I don't want his ego damaged because of me. But if he does actually care about me to make me orgasm...:D;)
There's also a possibility that he might feel like he has to return the favour since I've been really good to him lately.

Einstein

I think the important Q is can you climax by yourself? If you can you need to maybe let him see how / let him help you.
Course if you're conscious of it too, it's gonna make things more difficult!

seahorse

KtK wrote: »

Nothing worse for ruining the mood than a man on a mission. He should be enjoying the ride rather than racing for the destination.

Exactly.

Tell him to cop on OP; he's only making it less likely to happen by putting you under pressure like this. Sex isn't supposed to be about pressure (well not that sort anyway, lol)

BlackMamba

Einstein wrote: »

I think the important Q is can you climax by yourself? If you can you need to maybe let him see how / let him help you.
Course if you're conscious of it too, it's gonna make things more difficult!

Yeah, I can. He just works himself up too much

LegacyUser

The pressure for you to orgasm will definitely make it less likely for you to do so successfully

OTOH, are you used to a specific tempo/pressure that hes not getting properly? Happens to a lot in reverse - guys are so used to **** themselves in a set rythym that it can be much more frustrating when someone else is doing it.

Miss Fluff

BlackMamba wrote: »

Yeah, I can. He just works himself up too much

Quite simple really, you need to show him how. Tell him what you like and what turns you on but also tell him that being THAT full on is a turn off. Be receptive when he's getting it right and don't be afraid to direct him. Try and agree with him to take the pressure off him making you come for a couple of weeks. Agree that this will NOT be an issue for either of you for the next few sessions. If he is spending ages fingering you and it's not happening then there are a number of reasons why; he is not doing it right/neither of you are relaxed enough for it to happen/too much emphasis on that being the conclusion. Back to basics for both of you OP, masturbating in front of one another is a good start.

BlackMamba

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Quite simple really, you need to show him how. Tell him what you like and what turns you on but also tell him that being THAT full on is a turn off. Be receptive when he's getting it right and don't be afraid to direct him. Try and agree with him to take the pressure off him making you come for a couple of weeks. Agree that this will NOT be an issue for either of you for the next few sessions. If he is spending ages fingering you and it's not happening then there are a number of reasons why; he is not doing it right/neither of you are relaxed enough for it to happen/too much emphasis on that being the conclusion. Back to basics for both of you OP, masturbating in front of one another is a good start.

Thanks for the advice!!!:D

Black-mamba

yay! its sorted raz finally.. finally! brought me to orgasm last night! oh sweet relief i've been holding that in for months, u can imagine the mess!

....oh wait.. :eek:

Gordon

:rolleyes:

Wibbs

Double :rolleyes::rolleyes: Locked.