Sonnet - I did not

nicowa

I did not recollect grieving, detached that
awareness that remembered tears that burned
my eyes, sobs that hurt to cry. I did not
speak of my failure, of not condoling
‘round opened casket, my tearful run from
funeral home within feet of entering.
I spoke of time spent mourning you. Did not
tell of careful feigning; I do not hurt.
Until e’en I believed this ugly lie.
I now lay out this confession I bear;
My hurt did not wane, melt ‘to night. Revealed
by thoughtful words. And I quailed ‘neath its might.

--

I had to write a poem about loss for my Lit class and this is what came out. It's a true-to-life telling. It was written over about a week, mostly by making notes at work. Unlike most of the other stuff we hand in, we never really discussed our poems. Probably because most of the six of us cried at some point in the class when we read them out.

But I haven't gotten an outside perspective on this so I'd like a critique on this. Be as blunt as you like because it's a couple of months old so I won't go running crying about whatever you'd like to say about it .

K4t

Hard to know what you are talking about to be honest. There is little structure in your poem.

You are talking about 'death' I presume but the rest is just guesswork for the reader.