How to make friends as an outsider

LegacyUser

I'm looking for some feedback...

I'm from Iraq. I’ve being living in Ireland for 3 years, I speak a good level of English and I have a good job. I’m 27 years of age.
Generally I'm happy here, but I want to integrate more and have more Irish friends but I find it a bit challenging. Not because people don't like to be around me but more because they have their own group of friends and have their own social life ...(These are the ones that I know).
And when I meet new people, once they know I'm from Iraq, for some reason they lose their interest!

Any ideas how should I go about this? I mean making friends.

I look forward to some constructive replies

LegacyUser

http://newintown.meetup.com/662/

I'm not a member but I've heard good things about it - it's a group of foreigners and Irish people who up and go on outings together. It might be a good way to break past the foreigner barrier. I'm told they are very friendly. Worth a look anyway. HTH

MsFifers

If its any consolation, I don't think its anything personal - Irish people are v. clique-ish. I have moved around Ireland a bit myself, and find that generally on moving to a new area, its very hard to be included into a new group. People are always friendly enough, and its easy to have lots of superficial friends but for the most part, Irish people seem to be most comfortable hanging around with people they have known their whole lives.

I lived in America for a while - and I was always taken aback at how the locals would include you in their lives almost immediately - inviting you home, bringing you to family gatherings etc. It sure doesn't happen here!

The only thing I can suggest is to develop a hobby or interest and join a group - whatever might interest you - sports? fishing? art? hill walking?

Good luck with it, hope it works out.

dellas1979

I agree with the poster above. My partner is non-irish and is here 8 years and feels completely like an outsider.

As said, (most) Irish are very clickey. Is is sort of a small town / small island mentality.

Dont be too dishartened. I find that one good friend is worth a million superficial friends.

Puffin

I agree, the Irish are incredibly cliquish, so it’s not you, and it’s not necessarily that you are from Iraq (thought I acknowledge that that may exacerbate the situation). Sadly, the easiest way to be truly accepted seems to be to get in a serious relationship with a local. I would also recommend joining clubs, and you might want to be a bit more strategic and invest more time getting to know other ‘blow-ins’ (i.e. people who don’t come from the place in which you are living) as they, like you, will probably have fewer established relationships.

wylo

Hi OP, unfortunately us Irish are weird that way, I dont think its just our country because I was living in Australia for about 2 years and was working with all ozzies and found it tough to be in the 'in' crowd no matter how friendly they were to me.
I think the best thing you can do is be patient and if you are a genuine friendly person having a bit of a laugh with work mates and what not before you know it you'll be invited to nights out, you'll be calling to friends etc.
Alot of the people you know probably presume you have your own life and mates aswell so they dont feel the need to invite you to be friends. Also the other problem is not everybody coming to Ireland makes an effort to integrate because they have plenty of their own friends, not to mention alot of them have intentions of going home, meaning the same effort isnt made back.

Joining clubs is probably the best thing you can do, what kind of work are you doing if you dont mind me asking? That could have alot to do what kind of people your meeting.

AngryBadger

Listen OP, I'm irish born and bred, and I find many irish people to be ridiculously clique-ish and not very open to newcomers.

I'd suggest finding and joing one or two clubs, maybe sports you're interested in or something like that, and you'll find it easier to make friends with people there.

Malice

I met virtually all of my foreign friends either through music (both playing and going to gigs) or through sport (playing and watching football). If you are in Galway and feel like playing some music or some football, send me a PM!

When you say that people lose interest when you say you're from Iraq, I find that strange. Personally, I would be very interested to hear about where you have come from and so on.

LegacyUser

malice_ wrote: »

I met virtually all of my foreign friends either through music (both playing and going to gigs) or through sport (playing and watching football). If you are in Galway and feel like playing some music or some football, send me a PM!

When you say that people lose interest when you say you're from Iraq, I find that strange. Personally, I would be very interested to hear about where you have come from and so on.

Thanks for the offer but I'm in Dublin!

And thanks for the advice

panda100

Puffin wrote: »

I agree, the Irish are incredibly cliquish.

Very true.
Few suggestions though. There are regualr boards meetups which are great fun and everyone is welcome. thre usually every month of so,so have a look here everynow and again specially this forum http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=908

Also,just intreted where do you work cos generally work would be the best place to integrate?