Is this wrong?

LegacyUser

Hello everyone. This may seem like a ridiculous situation but I'm just curious about people's views on age gaps in relationships. I am a 19 year old female and recently my friend's 18 year old friend began to text me. He seems very nice, very funny and I would never have believed he was younger than me, he seems very mature. I know our age gap isn't much, it isn't even a full year but yet our lives seem so different. I am almost finished in University. I will have my degree and all by the time I am just gone 20. The thing that makes me feel like there's something wrong is that he is still in school. He will be finished very soon but it is still a drastic difference to where I am at. I just feel that if I continue to text him, even innocently, people will assume that I'm some sort of freak. It isn't the year age gap, it's more the fact that he is still in school. I just can't get past that. It's amazing how different things worked out for us both, he's 18 and is still in school. I started Uni when I was 17 but still, we are almost the same age.
Really, I just feel that if I text him and even continue the flirty (but totally innocent) texts that I will appear like some sort of pervert. If he was in college the less than a year gap wouldn't be as much of an issue but I just keep picturing school uniforms and silly schoolboys making paper aeroplanes
What do the general public think? Would I be twisted to even consider it? I feel like by even replying to him that I am taking advantage of him. It just feels so wrong, I've never been with a guy who hasn't been at least two years older than me. Should I just leave it? Maybe I do need somebody older!! I don't want to write him off so pointlessly but what would people say??!!! Would everyone think that there's something wrong with me? He's not even finished school like!! I just don't know..

thecheese

I can't see a problem here. I'm guessing he's in sixth year at this stage if he's 18? If so, 2 or 3 months down the line, he'll be finished with school anyway! The main thing is that he is on a similar matureness level, which as you said he is.

If you like him, go for it. You might get 1 or 2 slaggings from friends over the school thing but it will be all in jest.

Good luck

Wagon

Not a problem. I'm 3 years older than my woman and I'm the childish one, i still make fart jokes. So he's still in school, who gives a ****e? If he's a nice bloke then go for it

LegacyUser

So you guys don't see it as perverted? I mean, he's really funny and he doesn't seem immature. I haven't actually spent any time with him in person, just texts. I'm afraid of meeting up with him or anything of the sort just in case I am doing something wrong. Like he is an adult but a school goer all the same. Do you think it makes me look a little backwards though?
I know this is mad but I keep thinking what his mother would think if she knew. She'd probably think I was a manipulative perv! In fairness though, he's the one who's been making the moves. I'm just not stopping him and that makes me question if I'm right or wrong. I don't want people to see me as some sort of backwards freak.
Also it worries me because we are both at different stages, that we will have both had very different experiences. For example, I haven't been in a relationship for a long time, having come from an abusive one I just never felt an attraction to anyone. I don't want anybody to feel burdened with me and my past issues. Not that my past should be an issue - it's just that by me being older I'll possibly have more of a past.
Can any men give me their opinion please, why would he be attracted to me? Is it because I'm older or would that put him off more than anything? He seems like a nice, positive, happy chap!
Girlies, if you were in this situation, what would you do?

smellslikeshoes

I personally wouldn't be bothered by it, and I couldn't see anyone giving you a hard time for it.

taylor1501

hey wel im a girl and my partner of four years now is ten years older than me im 23 hes 33 and people thought it wouldnt last because of gap but we proved them very wrong we now have a beautiful baby girl and still going strong as we both love eachother and thats the main thing not what other people think. so if you like this lad then be all means go for it.:D

John Mason

My OH is 5 years younger then me. I wont have a problem with a year, so that is nothing try 5 years

LegacyUser

Going unregged for this...

After I finished my finals in Uni, I met a wonderful girl. She was a friend of a friend, and about a month off being 18. I was 21, soon to turn 22. She still had a year left in school, so I tried not to think of her like that, but we just had a spark that I couldn't ignore. We ended up hooking up, and were together for over a year.

Ultimately, the whole time we were going out, it played on my mind. Looking back, I was a prick to her at times and fantastic to her at others, mostly due to this. I always cared deeply for her, but the age gap and some of her gob***** friends ultimately split us apart. Ironically, we split just before she went off to uni.

I did have a few comments from other people, not my friends, that that was quite an age gap. A few of the people that I didn't like in our larger group of friends (huge variation of ages), asked why I was going out with a kid, which of course made us both feel uncomfortable. As well as that, I was fairly successful straight out of uni, so there was also a huge gap between us money wise and she felt uncomfortable with me constantly paying for things.

At the end of the day, my advice to you is - if you really really feel a spark with this guy, then screw what other people think. That is, if you can. If you were a bit like me and worry about what people think, then stop leading the guy on and find someone older. Also - be wary of his friends, my girl was very mature but acted worryingly like a child sometimes when she was with certain friends.

TantraKat

Dont worry about it. My nephew was 17 and in school when he met his girlfriend who was 19 and in college. They got married last year, 11 years after they first got together. They got a bit of teasing in the beginning, but it soon passed, and they're still blissfully happy together.

Jimmy Bottlehead

Go for it, a year makes no difference, and if you're a good couple, in a year or two the school thing will never be an issue. I certainly wouldn't think negatively of it.

Beerlao

perverted???? hahahahahahaha he's barely a year younger than you!

Miss Fluff

I REALLY don't see the issue here OP, he is less than a year younger than you, hardly cradle snatching now is it?

Beaucoupfish

Eh...he's the same age as you. This is utter twaddle.

Pub07

Can any men give me their opinion please, why would he be attracted to me? Is it because I'm older or would that put him off more than anything? He seems like a nice, positive, happy chap!

Well, I have a fair idea why he's attracted to ya, basically it's because you are a woman! He's only a year younger than you for god sake wtf are you going on about anyway, you're only a young wan yourself too.

briantwin

When i was 17 in 5th year i started going out with a girl who was 21 and in 3rd year in college. It was a bit awkward when i was 17 due to not being able to get into most pubs but that didn't phase it. We were together for 3 years. The whole age gap thing disappears once people see you make each other happy. And if they still have an issue with it tell them to f*ck off!

She Devil

My fella is two years younger than me ... no problem here ...
go for it girlie .. xx

zipy

Jaysus folks, what age gaps are ye talking about, in my opinion two or three years gap is not worth losing sleep over. When its 10 years plus maybe give it a little thought.

Mr. Incognito

If a one year age gap bothers you because of what people think??, perhaps he is actually more mature than you.

Loomis

Meet up and see can he handle the 'college life'

Drift

AmIWrong? wrote: »

Can any men give me their opinion please,

Yup I can. You're thinking about it way to much. It's this simple:
Would you enjoy it: Yes
Would he enjoy it: Yes
Is it against the law or does anyone get hurt: No
In 60 years time when you're an auld granny you may have time for second guessing the decisions you made (or hopefully you won't have time then either!) right now do what you think would be best for you which is clearly pursuing this lad.

AmIWrong? wrote: »

why would he be attracted to me?

Who cares, he just is!

AmIWrong? wrote: »

Is it because I'm older or would that put him off more than anything?

As above, why does it matter!

AmIWrong? wrote: »

He seems like a nice, positive, happy chap!

Sounds perfect, get to know him better then.

AmIWrong? wrote: »

Girlies, if you were in this situation, what would you do?

It shouldn't matter to you what other people would do. The only question you need to answer is what would YOU like to do?

Balmed Out

The age difference is a complete no issue. Obviously your no perverted. Well from what you said anyhow. Is there anything u want to add?
Only issue is ye are at different stages in life. If your leaving college as hes going in you may find your interests and lifestyle may not be very similar.

~nop~

30 days left of 6th year. Go for it.