Cuckoo

rocky25

A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar.

After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place.
As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.

After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That’s 1000 pounds of dynamite!"

She begins to drool.

The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder’s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That’s 1000 pounds of dynamite!"

She is aching for action at this point.

Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.

He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"

She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

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Do you have feelings of inadequacy?

Do you suffer from shyness?

Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about White Wine.

White Wine is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. White Wine can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything. You will notice the benefits of White Wine almost immediately, and with a regime of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live.
Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had.
Stop hiding and start living, with White Wine.
White Wine may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use White Wine. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it.
Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache,
dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

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Contestant on 'Who Wants to Be a Millionaire' had reached the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would pocket only the
$32,000 milestone money.

As she suspected it would be, the million-dollar question was no pushover:
Which of the following species of birds does not build its own nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds?

Is it:
A) the condor;
the buzzard;
C) the cuckoo; or
D) the vulture?

The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. And she was doubly on the spot because she had used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Audience Poll Lifeline.

All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline and the woman had hoped against hope that she would not have to use it because the only friend that she knew would be home happened to be a blonde.

But the contestant had no alternative.

She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices.
The blonde responded unhesitatingly, 'That's easy. The answer is C: the cuckoo.'

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving Regis any answer except the one that her friend had given her. And considering that her friend was a blonde, it would seem to be the logical thing to do. On the other hand, the blonde had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be persuaded.


'I need an answer,' said Regis.

'C: The cuckoo.'

'Is that your final answer/' asked Regis.

'Yes, that is my final answer.'

Two seconds later, Regis said, 'I regret to inform you that the answer is....absolutely correct. You are now a millionaire!
'
A few days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.
'Jenny, I just do not know how to thank you,' said the contestant.
'Because of your knowing the answer to that final question, I am now a millionaire. And do you want to know something
It was the assuredness with which you answered the question that convinced me to go with your choice. By the way, how did you happen to know the right answer?

'Oh, come on!' said the blonde. 'Everybody knows that cuckoos don't build nests. They live in clocks.'
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

folan

hats off to you rocky, funniest blonde joke ive ever heard!

mickrourke

Your usual excellent standard Rocky
Bravo!