C&T Missed Opportunities April Fools thread

Chris_533976

Since theres a lot of heavy threads in here at the moment lets have a laugh.

So what disasterously bad-sounding April Fools jokes did we all forget to make on this forum this year

Suggestions for panic-induced riots-

- The two at-tender N9 schemes will not be motorway but S2 or WS2 with at-grade junctions.
- The at-tender N7 scheme is cancelled due to funding problems.
- All motorway reclassifications cancelled.
- M50 to be made N50 after the works are finished.
- Last minute archaeological discovery to delay Moate bypass for a year.

or I guess

- Bertie Ahern will announce his retirement tomorrow (!)

Irish and Proud

Chris_533976 wrote: »

Since theres a lot of heavy threads in here at the moment lets have a laugh.

So what disasterously bad-sounding April Fools jokes did we all forget to make on this forum this year

Suggestions for panic-induced riots-

- The two at-tender N9 schemes will not be motorway but S2 or WS2 with at-grade junctions.
- The at-tender N7 scheme is cancelled due to funding problems.
- All motorway reclassifications cancelled.
- M50 to be made N50 after the works are finished.
- Last minute archaeological discovery to delay Moate bypass for a year.

or I guess

- Bertie Ahern will announce his retirement tomorrow (!)

You seriously want a riot? - Well see how this measures up!!!

M50 Phase 1 will remain D2m (hard shoulder and auxilliary lane will be open though), with an 60kph limit (to reduce traffic pressure on the Northern and Southern Cross routes), until the entire motorway is upgraded to D3(+Aux)M. The Southern Cross Route was to be upgraded to D3m with reduced hard shoulder, but this has now been revised to D3(+Aux)M. As a new CPO/EIS is required, and ECI method will be used, but will still take an additional 2 years. Basically, the entire M50 upgrade will now be completed in 2012, when all restrictions will be lifted and a 100kph limit imposed. However, the minister said that given the day that was in it, he felt that things would end up going as originally planned!!! :D:D

Regards!

If you really want a laugh! just imagine that it was decided to revert speed limits back to mph.
To save money speed limit signs would not be replaced, but the km/h text will just be painted over.

Irish and Proud

Irish and Proud wrote: »

You seriously want a riot? - Well see how this measures up!!!

M50 Phase 1 will remain D2m (hard shoulder and auxilliary lane will be open though), with an 60kph limit (to reduce traffic pressure on the Northern and Southern Cross routes), until the entire motorway is upgraded to D3(+Aux)M. The Southern Cross Route was to be upgraded to D3m with reduced hard shoulder, but this has now been revised to D3(+Aux)M. As a new CPO/EIS is required, and ECI method will be used, but will still take an additional 2 years. Basically, the entire M50 upgrade will now be completed in 2012, when all restrictions will be lifted and a 100kph limit imposed. However, the minister said that given the day that was in it, he felt that things would end up going as originally planned!!! :D:D

Regards!

Let me improve on this!

M50 Phase 1 will remain D2m, with an 60kph limit (to reduce traffic pressure on the Northern and Southern Cross routes), until the entire motorway is upgraded to D3(+Aux)M. In the interim, the hard shoulder will be open, but the auxilliary lanes will operate as bus lanes - negotiations are ongoing with Dublin Bus in a bid to keep traffic levels to a minimum. Dublin Bus has demand that bus lanes be provided through the interchanges which would require the use of all lanes at those points. An addition, DB have stated that traffic entering the M50 would have to give way to buses, while traffic exiting would do so via a 500m weaving box (too allow buses to change lanes easily), which would be created out of 2 existing lanes. Also, temporary bus stops (on the mainline just pust the exits) would have to be provided and this would require a suspension of the motorway regulations (route to be renamed N50 for the duration). Also, in order for passangers to safely access the buses, signalised pedestrian crossings would have to be placed on all exit ramps from the M50.

There is even more bad news for motorists - the Southern Cross Route was to be upgraded to D3m with reduced hard shoulder, but this has now been revised to D3(+Aux)M. As a new CPO/EIS will be required, an ECI method will be used, but works will still take an additional 2 years. Basically, the entire M50 upgrade will now be completed in 2012, when all restrictions will be lifted and a 100kph limit imposed. However, the minister said that given the day that was in it, he felt that things would end up going as originally planned!!! :D:D

Regards!

Irish and Proud

Deleted User wrote: »

If you really want a laugh! just imagine that it was decided to revert speed limits back to mph.
To save money speed limit signs would not be replaced, but the km/h text will just be painted over.

It would be funny, but I don't think it wouldn't wash!

How about this -

"The Minister for Environment and Local Government is in cabinet nogiations with a view of reducing motorway speed limits to 100kph and increasing local and regional roads to 90kph - this is because the most fuel efficient cruising speed is around 90kph and would therefore be beneficial to the environment."

Now, that would cheer up people on the M1, M4 and M7 motorways, especially if the above came from the airwaves!

Regards!

Victor

So Dempsey isn't supporting Cowen for taoiseach and Cullen is back in the job.