Need some advice.

Rudi33

Hi

To cut a very long story short, a few months back my husband walked out and said he didn't feel the same anymore etc... Anyway It took me a while but feel like I am doing ok now. I have been in contact with an old 'boyfriend' and we actually met up. As soon as we met up all the feelings I have had for him in the past came flooding back, I actually think looking back on things now that I always loved him but put it to the back of my mind. The problem with him is that he could never commit etc.. but we were very young at the time so I just moved on but anytime I bumped into him or heard about him those feelings would be there. Anyway I texted after the other night to say thanks etc.. and he texted back a general text but I haven't heard back from him, not sure what I should do as I am not sure he likes me but we got on really well etc... and it was him that initiated the meeting. Any advice? Do I leave well enough alone and wait for him to contact me?

Beruthiel

Why wait?
Invite him out for a drink and see what happens.

Redpunto

He has your number, if he wants to get in contact he will. Take it nice and slow. Attention from this guy is going to feel fantastic after the crap youvebeen through wth you husband. He might just be taking it easy as well if hes aware of waht your husband did. Your husband only walked out a few months ago, that is not a long time and im sure you havent healed from it yet. How many days has it been since you saw him? You need to make sure that the both of you feel the same as if not itll probably be you who is hurt worst.

Miss Fluff

You said you were in contact and then met up. What happened when you met up? Was it a "date", did you sleep with him, was it a chance meeting, what exactly happened when you met up OP?

Abi

Rudi33 wrote: »

and he texted back a general text

General is too general a description tbh. can you divulge a little more? and as Miss Fluff asked, how did the evening go? How was he with you then?

Rudi33

The evening went well, we stayed up talking for hours. Even though he is an ex boyfriend he was a friend as well. It wasn't a chance meeting, he texted me to see how I was and I ended up calling over to him for a drink.
We didn't sleep together but shared a bed. I think my main problem is that I have always been in love with him and now that my marriage is over I am allowed be vocal about my feelings for him (obviously not to him!!) It is 5 days since I have heard from him. Basically I texted him the next night to say had a good laugh etc... and he texted back the following day to say it was etc..that he was wrecked next day cos we had stayed up talking and that he would talk to me soon....
The thing is he was never one to come out and say how he felt, this was always a problem when we were younger and I think that is why we never really stayed together but I think I was too afraid of saying how I felt. God sorry if I am rambling!

Mr. Incognito

Sounds like you are looking for love and a shoulder to cry on in all the wrong places. An old boyfriends is always safe territory, and if he was interested he would make an effort- don't put it down to not vocalising feelings. some people cannot vocalise things and are judged by their ACTIONS. You may be projecting emotion where ther is none.

My Advice: Take some "me" time to get over the break-up of your marraige. Go on a holiday with the girls, take up a new sport- sopmething to keep your mind ticking over, and when you are ready, and HEALED then get on with your life and love and whatever the future holds.

Ishindar

Hi OP, since this guy made the first move and put in the effort, I think it would be a good idea to recipricate this and ask him out. It gives him the right signals and doesnt leave it all up to him which is nice for a guy. follow your heart and do as u feel, is always right the way to go imho.

Miss Fluff

Rudi33 wrote: »

The thing is he was never one to come out and say how he felt, this was always a problem when we were younger and I think that is why we never really stayed together but I think I was too afraid of saying how I felt. God sorry if I am rambling!

WHOOOAAAAAA there OP. You are out of a broken marriage only a matter of months. An awful lot has happened since you were last with this guy, i.e. you married someone else, so you really need to take things slowly and not just fall head-first into another relationship. You have been through an awful lot what with your husband walking out, but I sense some desperation in your post and perhaps you need to take some time out on your own OP and not be so anxious to depend on another person to make you happy.

Marksie

Miss Fluff wrote: »

to depend on another person to make you happy.

Oh i so agree with this statement. Miss fluff has made an excellent point you would do well to loko at. You are out of a dependency, better to lok at yourself and who you are before rushing into another dependency