Do women care about looks as much as men do?

af_thefragile

The question that has challenged mankind for centuries.:eek::eek:

Is it true that women care about looks and physical appearance of men while choosing partners just as much as men do (or maybe more) and lie bout it when asked with the question saying "looks don't matter"?
Or are they really speaking the truth when they say "looks don't matter"?

discuss...eh?:pac:

macbarbie

there is two aspects to that. Of course women are drawn to better looking people, when seekin a partner or being attracted to some1 without havin had a conversation of course its looks, were only human!!

without gettin attacked, your asking for an honest answer after all!! and i have to say personnelly i dont like fat men or small men, I have a OH but I am very picky and at first I only liked him coz he was hot!

So i think that answers that yes they do care....


HOWEVER..... i think men care that little bit more... for example women dont love mags full of naked men, and posters and porn(well i like porn but not as much as a man, AND i actually prefer watching girls) anyways we dont go to strippers and theres no page3 for men... you get my point!!


therefore i think men are alot more obbsessed with looks!!

whiskeyman

Definately not
My g/f is better looking than me, and I've no prob admitting it
I've always seen hotter women with men that I'd imagine we're below their level.
It's rare to see a man with a woman less hotter than he however...

Latchy

The amount of (imo) ugly blokes with Beautiful wimmin amazes me ,then i suppose beauty is in the eye of the beholder or the size of his wallet ....... right yeah

Vain men dont appeal to wimminz either

Affable

Women go for confidence more whereas men go for looks as sometimes they are afraid of too much confidence in a woman..?

Yeah tbh I've suprised myself with some of the women I have pulled. Its happened a few times that I've been in a club and said lucky guy who ever gets with that and I get lucky!

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Good christ, no. I'd never get a shag if they did.

an_dorchadas

Well I'm only speaking for myself but I don't really care about looks. I like a guy who's similar to myself in interests, and obviously there are going to be certain looks I'm not into but I'm not all about the traditional good looks. You have to find a person attractive, but that can be something as small as a nice smile or an attractive personality which can make a person better looking in itself. So no, I don't really care about looks as long as we have enough in common...that said, I don't go for the traditionally good looking as a rule so maybe I'm an exception...

Dudess

It's a very difficult one. That said, it does seem like a guy would be more likely to go off with a bimbo than a girl would be to go off with a "himbo". The male equivalent of Pamela Anderson, Paris Hilton etc is chippendale guys - yuck! Astoundingly unsexy.

an_dorchadas

Chippendales?!!! I just mini-puked at the thought...shudder...

AngryBadger

Affable wrote: »

Women go for confidence more whereas men go for looks as sometimes they are afraid of too much confidence in a woman..?

I think people are forgetting something major here.

If you compare an average guy with an average girl, chances are the girl is way more interested in finding a long-term partner, whereas the guy will usually be more interested in a short-term thing.

Erego, women tend to go for stability, which is better judged based on attitude/personality then looks. Guys, thinking in the shorter term, tend to go for looks, because to be brutally honest, we're not thinking "i'm going to be with this person for the next 6 years", but we are generally thinking something along the lines of "I hope I can still stand the sight of this one when I wake up in 6 hours".

Caveat: This does not apply to all people, but it does apply to a significant number.

Caveat: Many guys are looking for longer term relationships, jsut as many women are looking for short-er term relationships, I'm just talking about an average case and I think the above is a fair reflection of what happens there.

So in conclusion, I think in the short term yes, guys are probably more interested in how a girl looks than what she's saying, but in the longer term, the guys I know who are in long term relationships are in them because they are genuinely attracted to their partner, not because she looks great in hot pants.

Personally I don't see how anyone can argue that men are more obsessed with looks when you compare the amount of time women spend "prepping" themselves to the amount of time men spend doing the same.

And don't anyone start giving me this "there's more pressure on wimmins" BS. YOU decide what pressure you're going to fold over. I've known plenty of women who weren't obsessed with plastering tan all over themselves at every possible opportunity, and they certainly weren't losing points in my eyes.

StormWarrior

Women don't get as turned on by looking at porn pictures of random men, as men do when looking at naked pictures of random women. However looks are, I believe, even more important to women than men when looking for someone to date/sleep with. After all, most men would sleep with almost any woman that asked them. Women (in general) would rather not get any than sleep with a man they did not physically fancy.

ScumLord

All you have to do to find out whats important to women is listen to their common phrases.

Lets go out
You don't buy me flowers
There's no ring on this finger
Lets go somewhere sunny


All require money, the end.

Miguel_Sanchez

All my girlfriends have been much more attractive than me. If women cared more about looks than men did I'd be lonely.

It's not my wallet either - so it must be my winning charm that attracts them. :rolleyes:

ScumLord

Jeff_Lebowski wrote: »

It's not my wallet either - so it must be my winning charm that attracts them. :rolleyes:

I'll give you €10 for the charm.

Tigger

i have some patented magic beans you may be interested in....

Balmed Out

I reckon people are talking crap and that yes women do go for looks just as much IF NOT MORE then guys. I work with a guy who is considered by girls to be tall, georgous etc. Any time im out with him i cant believe the amount of girls who literally throw themselves at him. Im not talking two or three i mean one every 5 to ten minutes. Theyll scream from across roads etc. Its unreal. I know plenty of knockout girls and i never see them get anywhere near the amount of blatant attention on a night out.
Everyone is capable of looking beyond looks once we get to know someone well but for that initial attraction its necessary for both. That said everyone has different tates and i reckon were all attractive to lots of the opposite sex.

Riddle101

Definately, women do care about their looks more then men. I mean a man would get his hair wet and just brush it off and fix it when he gets home or something, a women will take extreme measure to stop her hair from getting wet. A man will walk to his front door and open it when someone is at it. A women would rush up the stairs,take a shower and put on some make up before answering her door, and a man isn't afraid to get his hands dirty as much where as a women would loom at you in discust just for thinking it

Ghost Train

I think most woman probably care about their own looks and the other women they're around as much as they do about a guys looks...

allabouteve

Don't go for looks, don't even mind a hairy back! Don't need a guy to buy me jewelry, presents etc., if I want something I'll buy it for myself thanks. In my experience, very good looking men tend to be rather caught up in themselves, that's why a good lookiing man who doesn't know it is irresistable to most women. The main thing I go for is brains...a well informed, funny, interesting guy is a diamond, anything on top is an added bonus.

A big bonus is a guy who doesn't ask a tall woman to wear flats......is it that emasculating to date a taller woman?

Dudess

Riddle101 wrote: »

Definately, women do care about their looks more then men. I mean a man would get his hair wet and just brush it off and fix it when he gets home or something, a women will take extreme measure to stop her hair from getting wet. A man will walk to his front door and open it when someone is at it. A women would rush up the stairs,take a shower and put on some make up before answering her door, and a man isn't afraid to get his hands dirty as much where as a women would loom at you in discust just for thinking it

I don't think that's what's being addressed here though. The OP is referring to how males/females care about the looks of others, rather than their own.

TerrorFirmer

Generally, no. Least going from my experience.

http://www.ponderplace.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/2008128pondermenttitle.jpg

Macha

Studies have shown that when men and women are asked about their preferences in the opposite sex, men put physical attractiveness higher up than women do.

However, when tests are done to test these preferences subconsciously, men and women both put physical attractiveness at the top. So basically women say they don't because society expects them not to but the reality is different.

It's discussed in this book: http://www.wikisummaries.org/Blink

I have to say, I hate all those american teen movies that have the sole aim of reassuring ugly/not-so-good looking/nerdy guys that some hot girl will fall for them (see American Pie, The Girl Nextdoor, etc etc ad nauseum.)

Sorry boys - best stop fooling yourselves now.

Wibbs

I would say at first impression both are pretty much the same. From what I've read men and women have different reproductive strategies though. Men are looking for the "best", most reproductively fit woman they can find based on their own reproductive value. In women this is signified by good health, youthful features(as their ability to reproduce reduces much faster than in men) and external reproductive hormone indicators. A tight body, smooth and clear skin, big eyes, small jaw, delicate features, lustrous hair etc are all indicators of that. The right hip waist ratio is a big one that pretty much goes across all cultures and times. Marilyn Monroe at her biggest had the same one as various venus' in art and shares the same one with Kate moss.

In men physical features that show testosterone levels and good health are favoured. Clear skin, larger shoulders, tight arse, bigger jaw, stronger features etc are again indicators of that. Too much of a good thing ruins it though, hence bodybuilders would not be considered as attractive as less well built men.

We're both attracted to people who have a slightly different immune system which we pick up by smell and taste(its in his kiss kinda thing). This insures the healthiest offspring.

It's obviously more complex than that, especially in what women find attractive in men. Even depending on their time within the menstrual cycle women differ in studies on that stuff. the same woman will tend to favour high testosterone male faces when she's at her most fertile, whereas will favour more feminised faces when she's not fertile or pregnant. It seems at a very basic level women want to reproduce with high test males, but want their kids around low test males, which makes sense. High test males make good sperm donors but not so good long term fathers. They're more likely to stray for a start.

There was even one study that showed that women who met their partner when they were on the pill(false pregnancy kinda) were more likely to leave them if they came off the pill than women who didn't. The theory being that they made a choice based on particular hormonal state at the time. Men pick this stuff up too. Another one I saw was that strippers got more tips when they weren't on the pill, than ones who were.

It also depends on the age of the woman too. Young women are more likely to seek out high test males than older women who may be more set on starting a family. So the athletic jock in school/college may not be as successful as he ages compared to a lower value guy in school/college who becomes more socially powerful a few years down the line.

Basically women and men will tend to be attracted to and end up with those of the opposite sex that are similar to them in reproductive value. Good looking women with good looking man and on down the line.

Men have one advantage though. Even if they're not as reproductively physically handsome as some, if they are more socially powerful(money, fame, peer respect) they can up their reproductive value significantly. Also their value doesn't drop as much as they age and can indeed go higher. that's not the case for most women. Men can earn and increase their value, hence old rich guys with much better looking women than they would normally have.

That could be why the idea that women go more for "personality" has favour. Women will make just as quick a snap judgement, but may reserve the final judgement when they find out more about the guy, in case appearances are deceptive and they have a higher value than first appears. Guys meeting awoman are pretty much set on whether they fancy her or not. Unless she's a complete loop job they'll plow on. The better looking she is the more they'll ignore too.


And it's more complex than that.....:D

It doesn't even touch on how the influence of our opposite sex parent affects our choices, or how the choices we've made in the past influence our next choice.

Mad stuff.

AckwelFoley

Do women care about looks as much as men?
Im sure its close... but to be honest i dont know.

I like a plesant looking woman with a pulse and a brain.

If i get that,and the feeling is mutual.

Snyper is in the saddle.

In the past I would been majorly turned off by someone who was interested in me because of my looks.
It was one of my suitability tests. I think attraction is blind, and if someone sets criteria based on a desire to impress others.
How attracted are they to you really?, What do they understand and how likely is it that they are an arrogant twat?

The field research wasn't particularly fruitful though.

AckwelFoley

Moonbaby wrote: »

The field research wasn't particularly fruitful though.

:P

awww...

StuckintheMud1

I find good looks would be a bonus, but I'm still a young (never had a boyfriend) teen. What do I know...

Fanny Cradock

allabouteve wrote: »

A big bonus is a guy who doesn't ask a tall woman to wear flats......is it that emasculating to date a taller woman?

That's Tom Cruise ruled out then.

Assuming your question isn't a rhetorical one - it depends on what the height difference is. All things being equal, I don't think most men would mind dating a girl who is a couple of inches taller than them. That said, if a girl was approaching 'behemoth' proportions - either because she is simply abnormally tall (in the kindest sense of the word 'abnormal') or in relation to his shortness - it would indeed result and the erosion of many a guy's masculinity. The outcome of this is almost certainly 'Short Man Syndrome'. Think anger, think rage. Each of these compounded by a large chip on small shoulders. Or so I'm told...

Yes. It's a very sad and shallow position to take! However, I'm reliably told by Big Willy Shakespeare that love is blind, so maybe it wouldn't matter with the right girl.

Dudess

StuckintheMud1 wrote: »

I find good looks would be a bonus, but I'm still a young (never had a boyfriend) teen. What do I know...

That it's your bedtime young 'un. Up them stairs...!

Ginny

Meh, none of my exes have looked alike, I don't have a "Type" and with any of my exes it was their personality that attracted me to them, now I couldn't say that would happen if I met on a blind date, but looks aren't the be all and end all with me.

Jay D

He's had many an unkind comment about his looks when set against the radiant beauty of girlfriend Sienna Miller.


But Rhys Ifans seems likely to have the last laugh because psychologists reckon that happier marriages result from attractive women who wed uglier men. And women who marry handsome men had better watch out. Men who saw themselves as better looking than their wives were more likely to be disgruntled and have negative feelings about their marriage, experts found.


The University of Tennessee study leaves 40-year-old Ifans set fair if, as expected, he marries 26-year-old Sienna this year, and it might also explain a few other couples such as Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas and Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller.
The Tennessee team tested 82 newly-wed couples for facial attractiveness and the quality of their marriage. Their results, in the Journal of Family Psychology, suggested most men who married attractive women were happy to bask in the glory of their partner's beauty.


But Professor Jim McNulty reported: "Men who were more attractive than their partner demonstrated a tendency to offer less emotional and practical support to their wives."
He said "evolutionary perspectives" offered an explanation.
"Attractive men have available to them more short-term mating opportunities.
"This may make them less satisfied and less committed to the marital relationship."
Strathclyde University psychologist Alastair Ross said many men enjoyed the prestige of having a beautiful wife. "Men are rated as more likeable and friendly when they have a wife who is very attractive," he added.

^

MizzLolly

I suppose it's different for each person.

For example, my ex was always somebody I thought was 'ok'. Never really imagined that we'd get together though. When we did, he just became even more attractive to me. I loved everything about his looks!! Now that we've broken up and he's shown his true colours, I think he looks like a scruffy hobo! Women can obviously be swayed through their emotions! I think men are more concerned with 'good looks' tbh.

Having said that, the 'chippendale', vain, perfect kinda guy just makes me shudder! *shudder*
I like them with a bit of character, that's what makes them more lovable and unique.
Suppose it's all down to what each person finds attractive though.

PlayGirl

i usually go for looks.. but then realise that there is nothing interesting behind the looks (generalisation) and that its the not so good looking but funny / sound guy that i like..

so looks on first impression but personality still ranks higher !

EamonnKeane

allabouteve wrote: »

In my experience, very good looking men tend to be rather caught up in themselves

Unlike the female equivalent?;)

BraziliaNZ

What if you're not that funny and not that good looking? like me? I'm screwed aren't I?

jayteecork

I think a lot of women go for men that while not bad looking, as not as attractive as they are.

That way they get the attention, and the contrast hightens their own looks.

macbarbie

my boyfriend is gorgeous which can be annoying coz girls are checking him out all the time and he knows it, he knows hes good looking and i love him but he can be very cocky and that annoys me.... women go for guys who aren the best looking so they wont cheat i think!!

Earthhorse

I think women are just as hung up on looks as men but that in practise they have less to discriminate on. When it comes to guys I think most of us fall into the average bracket. There are a few blokes in my circle of friends that almost all women are attracted to, but after that it tapers off; the pyramid of attraction, with the hot guys at the peak, is very shallow and quickly reaches its base.

Women, on the other hand, tend to lie outside the average bracket more often, in both directions. Just look around your office or the street you're walking down; how many women stand out as stunning? Now, how many guys? I think this is true whether you're a guy looking or a girl looking (hence why you encounter girls saying "She's hot" of other girls far more often than guys do, though there are other forces at play there too). So the pyramid of physical attraction for women is a lot taller but with a steep incline.

(By the way, ladies, if what Wibbs says is true and you are attracted to guys with high test rates then let me know and I will fax copies of my exam results through).

Macha

Sorry I just don't think that's true. Our media is full of what is called the 'male gaze' and geered towards the male audience. Hence female models launching products or national days (shame on you Dublin City Council!), women photographed at the races all the time, focused on in the audience of tennis matches etc etc.

I see loads of hot guys - as many hot guys as hot girls. I just don't think we really focus on them as much. Plus a lot of guys I know are incapable of judging another man's looks, at least publicly. You get the usual "Jeez, I dunno, I'm a bloke - I don't fancy other guys" response. Whereas I find women have no qualms about saying who they think is hot-male or female.

thefinalstage

allabouteve wrote: »

Don't go for looks, don't even mind a hairy back! Don't need a guy to buy me jewelry, presents etc., if I want something I'll buy it for myself thanks. In my experience, very good looking men tend to be rather caught up in themselves, that's why a good lookiing man who doesn't know it is irresistable to most women. The main thing I go for is brains...a well informed, funny, interesting guy is a diamond, anything on top is an added bonus.

A big bonus is a guy who doesn't ask a tall woman to wear flats......is it that emasculating to date a taller woman?

So your a tall independent woman? I will let you wear what ever kind of shoes you like . In fact, wear high tops.

Earthhorse

I have done extensive research into the issue of pyramids taconnol and can assure you that it is true.

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

What if you're not that funny and not that good looking? like me? I'm screwed aren't I?

No, you're not. But that's the problem.

Macha

Earthhorse wrote: »

I have done extensive research into the issue of pyramids taconnol and can assure you that it is true.

Research...ahem..right. I think I'll stick with my original thoughts. Our society focuses more on women's beauty than men's but that doesn't mean that men rate beauty higher than women do. Both sexes are equally shallow, if you want to call it that.

Plus I think women have more tools at their disposal. Beauty salons, beauty treatment, fake tan, foundation, eye-lash curlers, hair products, hair straighteners, hair curlers, high heels, flattering clothes, push-up bras, body-shaping tights etc. Men don't really have these to the same extent.

gcgirl

I would prefer someone who was ugly with a decent size cockadoddledo to do me senseless night after night then some himbo with a tiny dick!