aaaaaagggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh

minishe

Hi all,

no this isnt another I hate men rant from a recently single female - this is a what the hell is going on out ther rant from someone who became single by choice 3 years ago and although I've enjoyed being single and made the most of it I find that I am getting sick of the scene in Dublin and really wonder about the future.

The thing is I am a few years older than most of my mates and now that they are all in relationships I find that I am the odd one out so to speak.

And due to recent (ok not so recent) dating disasters I am begining to wonder are all the good ones really taken or do us women tend to be a bit too fussy and choosey at times.

Ok so not so much a rant as a meandering waffle

anyone got any thoughts on the idea.

Are women in their late 20's who work hard and play hard destined for the scraps that are left behind or am I just not hanging out in the right places - confused and clonflustered!!!!!!

Overheal

What are you looking for in a guy? I'd like to know.

Nerin

ah they arent all taken,i know some lovely gentlemen (its in the contract of my friendship,all males must me nice) it probably just they aren't around you at the moment
i for one feel your pain

Boggles

Maybe it's you.

Raekwon

minishe wrote: »

or do us women tend to be a bit too fussy and choosey at times.

If you needed to ask this then you already know the answer

BraziliaNZ

Listen lady - if you think you have it bad, try being a single man in his late 20s. It's like staring into a bleak endless tundra of singleness for the rest of your life. You can hang around bars every weekend for years on end and get nowhere with anyone. I'm not blessed with the talent of being able to entertain and amuse and captivate women that I've just met in bars, it's the guys with the gift of the gab etc. that get the chicks it seems.
So go and hang around somewhere where men hang out and you'll get hit on by tonnes of blokes. Take your pick. It's that easy. Oh how I envy women!

stepbar

They're out there alright .... me being one Maybe we should hook up

Awaits PM... LOL See I have a sense of humour

In all seriousness, your time will come. I wouldn't start panicing about it.

So, what you doing tomorrow night? Because I'll be in London

How about next week.....

minishe

maybe it is - but dont worry boggles I have thought of that!!!!

what I want isnt all that difficult - a guy that I like who likes me and one that wont f**k me about like the others in the past - to be honest my tolerance level for taking any kind of s***e from guys is zero. I dont see the point in wasting my time with it.

Of course women can be fussy and choosy at times but in all fairness I settled once and never again.

Raekwon

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Listen lady - if you think you have it bad, try being a single man in his late 20s. It's like staring into a bleak endless tundra of singleness for the rest of your life. You can hang around bars every weekend for years on end and get nowhere with anyone. I'm not blessed with the talent of being able to entertain and amuse and captivate women that I've just met in bars, it's the guys with the gift of the gab etc. that get the chicks it seems.
So go and hang around somewhere where men hang out and you'll get hit on by tonnes of blokes. Take your pick. It's that easy. Oh how I envy women!

+1

Compared to blokes, women have it pretty handy.

minishe

ok boys lets be honest here - most guys that are hanging around bars are after one thing and one thing only and even the ones that say they arent and take your number are gone once they get it too!!!!!!

of course I know that there are nice genuine guys out there but I guess the way the social scene is here it makes it more difficult.

sorry I thought this was boards nota dating site!!!!!!!

TheDriver

There are lots of single people out there of all ages and once you go into things with an open mind and willingness to see how things go, then you should have no problem seeing people. No one should have to take crap but at same time, we need to have minimal tolerance levels to ensure we fully understand the person, maybe a guy says something to you and you take it in a way he didn't mean and could be the best thing ever for you if you give it a chance.
No one should have to settle and i too know that but try internet dating, its well worth it and you will meet loads of guys.

thebiggestjim

We are out here lady, you just gotta find us. Keep looking.

stepbar

Boards works in many mysterious ways don't you know....

Overheal

minishe wrote: »

sorry I thought this was boards nota dating site!!!!!!!

a/s/l ?

So you'd then say you've been single and you've had time to think about what you want?

BraziliaNZ

minishe wrote: »

ok boys lets be honest here - most guys that are hanging around bars are after one thing and one thing only and even the ones that say they arent and take your number are gone once they get it too!!!!!!

Where are you getting this idea from? Men who are looking for women in bars aren't just looking for sex (some of them are I'm sure) they're just looking to meet single girls and see what happens. If they get laid that night, all well and good. I'm delighted if I get a phone number ffs. So stop thinking about men in bars this way, seriously women.

Overheal

I have to agree. If I was just looking for a lay I wouldn't be hanging around PI as much as I do

Nerin

BraziliaNZ wrote: »

Where are you getting this idea from? Men who are looking for women in bars aren't just looking for sex (some of them are I'm sure) they're just looking to meet single girls and see what happens. If they get laid that night, all well and good. I'm delighted if I get a phone number ffs. So stop thinking about men in bars this way, seriously women.

good men are hindered by the bad ones

Overheal wrote: »

I have to agree. If I was just looking for a lay I wouldn't be hanging around PI as much as I do

lol

Boggles

minishe wrote: »

ok boys lets be honest here - most guys that are hanging around bars are after one thing and one thing only

Men use go to bars to get away from women, I weep for those times. I long to say, shut your trap and get back in that snug!

minishe

Overheal wrote: »

a/s/l ?

So you'd then say you've been single and you've had time to think about what you want?

that would be a yes - have had too much time to think about it obviously

minishe

Overheal wrote: »

I have to agree. If I was just looking for a lay I wouldn't be hanging around PI as much as I do

PI????????????? as in personal issues?

Overheal

indeed. Personal Issues forum

I just wondered because it backs us all up when we tell young ones to get out of their relationships and learn to be single for a while. It gives you your sense of self. Once you have that the rest will come as it may (or not).

I know all too well the pressure of being single. But to be fair, its less pressure than being in a relationship don't put yourself under pressure to bag and tag and shag a lad (or lass) you'll end up settling for something you don't want.

RedXIV

ok boys lets be honest here - most guys that are hanging around bars are after one thing and one thing only and even the ones that say they arent and take your number are gone once they get it too!!!!!!

ah now, I go to a bar for one thing and one thing only. DRINK! and i'd also be far more occupied with have a barrel of laughs with the lads than approaching women.

But if you're looking for guys who are genuine and aren't gonna mess ya about. you're gonna have to be a bit more aggressive. 9 times out of 10, they are the ones too afraid to approach and as a result, are passed over by other women. if they weren't afraid to approach, they'd have gf's. Leaves the ball neatly in your court i believe

minishe

Overheal wrote: »

indeed. Personal Issues forum

I just wondered because it backs us all up when we tell young ones to get out of their relationships and learn to be single for a while. It gives you your sense of self. Once you have that the rest will come as it may (or not).

I know all too well the pressure of being single. But to be fair, its less pressure than being in a relationship don't put yourself under pressure to bag and tag and shag a lad (or lass) you'll end up settling for something you don't want.

not really under pressure just buggin out over it at the mo for some strange reason.

yeah the whole settling thing is not worth it at all - as i said did it once and if i hadnt grown a spine would probably be married now and living in hell as a result.

minishe

RedXIV wrote: »

ah now, I go to a bar for one thing and one thing only. DRINK! and i'd also be far more occupied with have a barrel of laughs with the lads than approaching women.

But if you're looking for guys who are genuine and aren't gonna mess ya about. you're gonna have to be a bit more aggressive. 9 times out of 10, they are the ones too afraid to approach and as a result, are passed over by other women. if they weren't afraid to approach, they'd have gf's. Leaves the ball neatly in your court i believe

that may be true but when I;m out i'll chat to anyone but dont really do the approaching - i know it a cop out to expect lads to do it when I wont but hey I'm old fashioned in some ways i guess

Nerin

minishe wrote: »

not really under pressure just buggin out over it at the mo for some strange reason.

yeah the whole settling thing is not worth it at all - as i said did it once and if i hadnt grown a spine would probably be married now and living in hell as a result.

i used to settle/not be able to say no when i was a teenager. after i shook many addictions (as well as being a man slut),im now in my 20s and just chilling.
sure a girlfriend would be nice, but ive all my female friends that fill in the gap for me. you can wait/hunt for the perfect person.
settling is just BS.

RedXIV

minishe wrote: »

that may be true but when I;m out i'll chat to anyone but dont really do the approaching - i know it a cop out to expect lads to do it when I wont but hey I'm old fashioned in some ways i guess

Alright maybe not do the approach, but you will have to give an AWFUL lot of signals to get a nervous guy to approach you. Also, if a guy on a night out, especially with alcohol inside him appears to be only after the one thing, this does not reveal to you his entire personality. Drink changes people, some slightly, some severely. so if you're getting on great with a guy and as time and drink go by, he makes a pass at you, don't 100% jump to conclusions that he's a social preditor. He might just need dutch courage

Overheal

Carlsberg don't do courage... or do they????

Hey wtf is up with the 3 Carlow lads on here on a thursday night?

Why the hell arent we boozing?

Irony abounds.

RedXIV

Overheal wrote: »

Carlsberg don't do courage... or do they????

Hey wtf is up with the 3 Carlow lads on here on a thursday night?

Why the hell arent we boozing?

Irony abounds.

Coz we're prime examples of the stereotypical nice guy that is afraid to go out and socialise with these new feminist types that demand equal rights and chivilary and will shoot at a fault in either

Overheal

exactly.

John Mason

minishe wrote: »

Are women in their late 20's who work hard and play hard destined for the scraps that are left behind or am I just not hanging out in the right places - confused and clonflustered!!!!!!

i thought so until quiet recently, i met someone out of the blue, you are not going to meet anyone until you accept that you will be single for the rest of your life and stop looking and thinking about. when you do this, this is when you will meet someone

Marksie

Folks stop the chit chat and banter. Deal with the issue.

Marksie

irishbird pretty much sums it up: when you sit back and relax, then it happens more often than not.
You lose the air of, for want of a better word ..desperation.
Plus, buys may not be too good at body language but they very well may pick up the air of being assessed for suitability.

If you step back and accpet the popel for who they are raher than seeing hoe many boxes they tick, things happen.

Ps. well done irishbird

Andy-Pandy

Relationships are like buses, you wait and you wait and then two come along at once.

Life is very complicated.