Alone again, naturally...

LegacyUser

Hi all. I'm just looking for advice about women here, as most people are it seems. I'm 27 now and living in Melbourne at the moment having just spent a year in NZ. Anyway I think I left Eire because I was in a relationship with a girl and she wanted to settle down, move in with me, have dinner parties and all that very adult stuff that scares me. So I scarpered. It was a lose/lose situation really if I stayed I would be unhappy because I always wanted to come down here and by leaving I've lost a girl I loved and I would imagine she hates me now I haven't heard from her since I told her I was going and got no response to the emails I sent etc. I've given up now. It's pretty depressing though thinking about what I did to her.
Anyway - I seem to have no idea how to chat up girls etc anymore. I tried talking to some girls last night in smoking section of a bar, they were Irish actually, and I got vibes that they were just totally uninterested in me! But in fairness I wouldn't blame them. I mean when I meet strangers I just don't know what to talk about. The weather? You need to be funny and spontaneous etc. but I can't pull that stuff on queue. It's the only chance I get to meet girls is in bars as I work with a bunch of bloke nerds and the few people I know here are blokes or platonic female friends.
How do you pick up chicks these days? Sersiously?!? Am I the only person who thinks everyone else is getting some but me?
Replies would be most welcomed.

passingthrough

i know this sounds far too cliche but be yourself, dont try to be funny and spontaneous, dont try to be interesting, basically dont TRY to be anything just be yourself.

iv been in a simialr situation to you and feeling like as you put it "everyone else is getting some but me" but its not true, there are plenty of people who feel the exact same.

the more you try and the more you want it the less likely you are to get it. your in Melbourne, once in a lifetime opportunity so just have fun, travel, talk to strangers, do crazy sh1t and you'll meet someone when you least expect it....thats what iv always found anyway

LegacyUser

here mate, your in melbourne....you don't know how lucky you have it. i've have been to many places throughout the world and melbourne is without doubt the best place i have ever been. what i wouldn't give to be back there right now, rather then stuck in a cr*ppy office here in rainy dublin. go to st kilda, go to chapel street, go to crown casino, enjoy your time there. there are so many opportunities in that city to meet girls, don't force the situation, don't try chat them up, just enjoy yourself and you will defo get chatting to girls. so many women there who will love to here about what ireland is like etc.... anyway back to work in this cr*p city for me....

davyjose

aiiiieeeeeee wrote: »

I'm 27 now .......... all that very adult stuff that scares me.

Is it possible you're just not at the right maturity levels for a guy your age. That freaks women right out, and it's instantly noticeable.

Just putting it out there.

Begob

aiiiieeeeeee wrote: »

Anyway I think I left Eire because I was in a relationship with a girl and she wanted to settle down, move in with me, have dinner parties and all that very adult stuff that scares me. So I scarpered. It was a lose/lose situation really if I stayed I would be unhappy because I always wanted to come down here and by leaving I've lost a girl I loved

Let me be the one to break it to you.You didn't love her.

Am I the only person who thinks everyone else is getting some but me?

Going on the rest of your post,I would imagine that isn't going to change anytime soon.You sound too selfish and thats probably quite noticeable by others.
Lighten up.Change your attitude.Stop looking.Smile a lot and be interested in other peopole without any notions.
Maybe then you'll find someone.
Doing the opposite and you have no hope.
It's simple really.

[Jackass]

Why dont you try dating websites or speed dating events or something over there, probably meet people and even if you don't find "the one" you could practice talking to girls spontaniously when they want to be talked to and eventually become more confident. Just a suggestion.

af_thefragile

Girls like honesty.
Girls like to be loved.
Girls like people who can be nice to them without being manupilating them into having sex.

Thats why when anyone says be yourself, it means be honest to her!
Don't pretend to be someone else or something else. Just be who you are and if you're a nice guy and can make her feel good, she'll like you for that.

SarahSassy

af_thefragile wrote: »

Girls like honesty.
Girls like to be loved.
Girls like people who can be nice to them without being manupilating them into having sex.

Thats why when anyone says be yourself, it means be honest to her!
Don't pretend to be someone else or something else. Just be who you are and if you're a nice guy and can make her feel good, she'll like you for that.

This is 100% true - well said.

bronte

af_thefragile wrote: »

Girls like honesty.
Girls like to be loved.
Girls like people who can be nice to them without being manupilating them into having sex.

Thats why when anyone says be yourself, it means be honest to her!
Don't pretend to be someone else or something else. Just be who you are and if you're a nice guy and can make her feel good, she'll like you for that.

Double agree, this is all I've ever wanted
Good advice.

LegacyUser

What's with the immature jibes? Just because I didn't want to settle down? I don't think that's relevant to maturity. And how have I been selfish?
I was out last night and spoke to a few women actually, went nowhere though. Oh and I'm always myself I couldn't be anyone else.

af_thefragile

I know what i said there above only seems to work great in theory.
In practice its a different story and there's a lot more that goes to it.

Check this thread out. Its got loads of amazingly good advice on what you're loking for,
http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055251649

I really feel this thread should be stickied. Like this is such a common question here and this thread would really help a lot of people!

perfect_circle

attitude is everything. if you think that the girls are not interested in you, they probably won't be. but if you go out and are confident and friendly you'll be amazed at the response you get. you're in melbourne; enjoy it!

cowzerp

aiiiieeeeeee wrote: »

What's with the immature jibes? Oh and I'm always myself I couldn't be anyone else.

Even this shows you to be immature, there advising you and your not getting what you want so are throwing a hissy fit..:eek: very attractive!