Moving out dilemma

LegacyUser

Hi guys n gals my girlfriends on this aswell so going unregged....

Im 30. Self Employed. Living with parents. Gf comes up to my house to stay alot, Ive stayed in hers maybe 5 times, were going out 2 and half years. I havent lived with the parents all my life but have been the past 2 years. The story is I dont know what to do. I spent ages trying to get a 2 bed with a mate a while back with no luck. Hes given up now. None of my other mates want to move out. I dont want to move in with my gf cos i'm just not ready to commit fully to her. I myself tried moving into houseshares around 6 months ago aswell, went door to door begging foreigners for a room, just no luck, couldnt get a room. I'm 30 now and I'm starting to feel like Ive been left behind as alot of my friends have mortgages and their own place. If I was to get a 1 bed studio or something, the gf would be there night and day hounding me, and I'm also worried that I would really get left behind socially. On the other hand if I was to try another houseshare, no doubt I'd be driven nuts by noise and maybe lack of privacy, gf issues if there were women in the house. I suppose what Im asking for is a little guidance towards the pros and cons of moving out on your own or moving in sharing with others..any advice or things to consider?

BraziliaNZ

Well you're 30 and at home for 2 years... That's not on. Irish people seem to be the only people who do this, and the Italians maybe! Plus sounds like you're not enjoying the girlfriend, lose her if she's that much hassle. The more you try and avoid their "hounding" the more they tend to hound you as you'll find out.
Get a room in a 2 bed apartment maybe sharing with one other? That's what I did when I lived in Dublin. You get plenty of privacy and have the place to yourself a lot. There must be a lot of rooms available in 2 bed places no?

BostonB

Get out and start living your own life. If the first place doesn't work out, move on, and keep moving still you find a place you like.

How Strange

movingout444 wrote: »

I dont want to move in with my gf cos i'm just not ready to commit fully to her. If I was to get a 1 bed studio or something, the gf would be there night and day hounding me, and I'm also worried that I would really get left behind socially.

Lucky lady your gf, you're obviously very fond of her.
Eh, how do you reckon you'd be left behind socially Is there some unspoken social stigma to living in a 1 bed studio?

I myself tried moving into houseshares around 6 months ago aswell, went door to door begging foreigners for a room, just no luck, couldnt get a room.

Where were you looking to live? In a refuge camp? I've done house sharing for years and never encountered such problems

I'm 30 now and I'm starting to feel like Ive been left behind as alot of my friends have mortgages and their own place. On the other hand if I was to try another houseshare, no doubt I'd be driven nuts by noise and maybe lack of privacy, gf issues if there were women in the house. I suppose what Im asking for is a little guidance towards the pros and cons of moving out on your own or moving in sharing with others..any advice or things to consider?

From reading your post, it seems you just can't be bothered to move out of the family home. You're self employed so you must be earning a decent wage so you should be able to afford to rent. I'd say grow up, act like an adult and cut the apron strings. The way you are carrying on you'll still be at home when you're 40 with your long suffering gf staying over a few nights a week.

Why do you think sharing with people is such a problem. Some people like their own privacy especially as they get older but others like to live with people. Which ever works for you.

Glowing

Why not sign up for affordable housing?

Bottle_of_Smoke

go with the one bed studio & just make it clear she can't be there all the time,

ciaran2008

alot of two bed homes are around the same price as a one bed so why don’t you get a two bed and then you can advertise for a tenant and let a good tenant come to you as opposed to 'begging' other people!
Good Luck

SarahMc

movingout444 wrote: »

On the other hand if I was to try another houseshare, no doubt I'd be driven nuts by noise and maybe lack of privacy, gf issues if there were women in the house.

Oh the noise, Heaven forbid!


Move out and start to live fgs, if you are sharing with a nutter in the first houseshare, pack your bags and move to the next. If your gf gives your grief because you have a female co-renter, dump the girlfriend.


You can deliberate forever, and think of rational reasons for the staus quo, but as other posters have said. It is simply not on to be living at home at 30.

[Jackass]

Dude, get out!!! I've done house share and living with a couple of randomers in an apartment and I've never had problems. Living with people I know and people I don't know, I learned that it doesn't matter if you know someone or not, they tend to make roughly around the same amount of noise.

Obviously if you're going to live with someone you don't know, you can set certain criteria so you know you wont be up all night with an all out rave going on in your house!! Seek a room in a 2 bed apartment with another guy who is a professional and works 9 - 5! I don't say guy because of your gf, but just because (IMO!!!) there is a lot less drama and A LOT easier to live with.

If you want a cheaper option, house share, you'll have plenty of privacy if you get a decent size room you can pop a TV in and stuff, you'll have your own space if you don't feel like sitting in the living room for a chat...plus you always have the option if you do!

There are millions of places going like that at the moment because I was looking recently too...go to daft.ie.

Personally I'd go for a bedsit. Your GF has gone through 2 years of having to see your parents whenever she calls over...you could live in a cardboard box on O'Connell st. at this stage and she'll be over morning noon and night!! nah but just cause you have housemates doesn't mean she'll call over any more or less than if you were in a bedsit.

lonely heart

hi there,

I have been sharing houses with random people for about 10 years now. I am just a little older than you. I didn't have a choice, i just had to do it, because i am not from dublin.

but sure its all part of growing up! how do you expect to be able to share a house with a partner going forward, if you are used to living at home? sure sharing with other people helps you to learn about yourself, your own failings, and areas for improvement, and it make you become consious of how to live with others.

it also makes you appreciate what its like to live with good people.

if it turns out that you have made a bad choice, move out, and find somewhere else. Sure its all part of life, having good and bad stories about sharing with others.

how do you expect to be ever able to share a house with a partner, if you have not had the experience of sharing with others?

you need to move out of home - and not into a place with brothers, sisters, etc, but with random people - this will help you to grow up! - and to break away from the family strings, in a healthy way.

I have to say that i think that your girlfriend is great, to stay in your house with your parents. not many would. have you any idea what kind of a situation that puts her in?

all thats worng with you at the moment is that you have it too handy at home, and its too inconvenient for you to move out.

its all part of growing up. if you don't do this now, you are going to make it harder on yourself later to have a relationship with anyone. you will find yourself in your late 30's, doing the things that you should have been doing in your mid 20's - and therefore loosing opportunities of extremely decent girlfriends as you go along. i know some one, this has happened to, and in the process he broke a very decent girls heart!

go to daft.ie. there are loads of house shares there.

wishing you the very best of luck with it.

Rb

I'd seriously question my relationship if I weren't ready to at least move in with my GF after 2 and a half years.

You're 30, you should start to consider a little thing they call "settling down". If you're not ready to commit to your GF now, you probably never will so should consider maybe she's not the right person for you.

Beruthiel

movingout444 wrote: »

I dont want to move in with my gf cos i'm just not ready to commit fully to her.

I do have to wonder, if after 2.5 years of being with her, you're still not ready to commit, why exactly are you still with her? Why are you wasting her time?

If I was to get a 1 bed studio or something, the gf would be there night and day hounding me, and I'm also worried that I would really get left behind socially

The above is a really pathetic excuse for not moving out of your parents house and makes no sense what so ever.