alcohol consumption - where to draw the line?

smiler26

Hi everyone,

OK, so I'm almost certain I know what answers I'll get already, but I need some impartial advice. I'm 28, most of my friends have married/settled down etc, but I'm the typical career girl - single, earn a lot of money, generally very happy. My social life ain't great at the moment, but in fact I'm quite happy to sit in with a bottle of wine and chill out.

There lies the problem. Tonight, I realised I didnt have a bottle of wine in the fridge, and I actually got dressed, drove to bank and then drove to the shop to buy one. Even though I was just out of a lovely bath and all cosey in my PJ's on the sofa. Now, I'm a bit worried by what I just did. Alcohol never interferes with my life, but I enjoy a couple of glasses every night. Is this wrong? Right now, I'm kinda freaking out that I might have a problem. Or am I just being paranoid.

Thanks in advance!

Cathmandooo

Before taking drastic measures why don't you just give yourself two weeks off the alcohol? When I was living with my mother i found that we were drinking about 3 midweek bottles of wine. It would be automatic to go for the wine with dinner. We're not living together now and I've stopped myself from keeping that up.

Set yourself a timeframe of no alcohol and stick to it. Don't make it unrealistic. After that maybe cut out wine Monday to thursday.

BankMan

On the face of it, from the information available, I wouldn't have thought that you have a problem. I would interpret the wine as a "creature comfort" for you as opposed to a dependency. I go through periods where I have a hot whiskey or two most nights, and would get irritated if i ran out of whiskey.

Having said that, you know yourself best. If your instinct is telling you it's a problem that you're developing, maybe make an effort to cut down to every second night or something like that?

Best of luck anyway, hope i haven't confused the issue :rolleyes:

MIN2511

Very funny reading this, because i recently noticed that i drink heavily 3/4 days per week. Mine is to run away from my problems(cowardice i know). I would go out of my way to get alcohol.
I am currently off alcohol(really hard)

You don't have a problem, you enjoy the semi conscious state... Can you give it up for 2 weeks like Cathoo suggested and see what happens



btw, is it just me or are there so many single females on boards!!!

smiler26

Not at all - thanks for the replies. I honestly don't think it's an issue. I have had a really rough time in the last few weeks, and I think I'm just reading into things too much. I have a huge tendency to over-analyse.

Will keep an eye on it I suppose, that's all I can do for now....

smiler26

MIN2511 wrote: »

btw, is it just me or are there so many single females on boards!!!

Lol - am i THAT sad?:rolleyes:

dixiefly

It is probably a positive thing that you actually think about this iykwim. We all do things that we think afterwards may have been silly. as the other poster said you should try different periods of not taking the wine to assure yourself that there is no reliance there.

Dont get too worked up about it - and enjoy the bottle of wine!

Sprouts

Don't see anything wrong with that, at least you changed first and didn't just head down in your PJs like many do. We all have little rewards we like to give ourselves, whether its food alcohol or whatever, moderation is the thing.

smiler26

dixiefly wrote: »

Dont get too worked up about it - and enjoy the bottle of wine!

Heh heh - it IS lovely

Wibbs

Cathooo wrote: »

Before taking drastic measures why don't you just give yourself two weeks off the alcohol? When I was living with my mother i found that we were drinking about 3 midweek bottles of wine. It would be automatic to go for the wine with dinner. We're not living together now and I've stopped myself from keeping that up.

Set yourself a timeframe of no alcohol and stick to it. Don't make it unrealistic. After that maybe cut out wine Monday to thursday.

Good advice.

MIN2511 wrote:

Very funny reading this, because i recently noticed that i drink heavily 3/4 days per week. Mine is to run away from my problems(cowardice i know). I would go out of my way to get alcohol.
I am currently off alcohol(really hard)

It's an easy trap to get into too. I did it years back. Went from rarely drinking(if ever) to having a 500 ml bottle of beer a night sometimes two. Hardly an alcoholic, but like the OP if I didn't have it I would be freaked and make it my business to go out for one. Enough said. That was what did it for me. While I wasn't physically addicted I certainly had a need for something that controlled me and like MIN2511 had to stop. Took a week of sleepless nights and that was that. This was just one beer too. Then again clearly I'm a lightweight a bottle of wine and I would be blotto. If I'm out having the crack then fine, but this need was a worry. I didn't want it to turn into 2 or 3 or 4 etc. Silly maybe but I reckoned the slippery slope beckoned.

As Cathooo suggests give it a week or two without any and see how you go.

Liam Byrne

As long as you're just chilling and you don't (a) freak if there isn't a bottle there and (b) feel the urge to do this every night, then there's nothing wrong with it.

Maybe keep an eye on it, but nothing to worry about based on what you've posted anyway.....

How Strange

OP, I don't think you've got a problem but I do think that you felt very conscious of your behaviour for a reason - getting dressed, going to atm, buying wine. You feel a bit weird about what you did and the compulsion to do it. In reality it's no worse than getting dressed, going to the atm and going to buy two bars of chocolate. We've all done that.

However, I'd agree that you should restrict wine during the week. I did this a few years ago and now I never drink Sun - Thurs. I think drinking wine every night, even just a glass, can become a habit that is very difficult to break. There are studies to say that women drinking wine at home are the new alcoholics. I'm not saying you are but the Rutland Centre and other treatment places have flagged a new trend emerging - (mostly) single women drinking wine at home at night.

I'd say just be aware of it.

rusalka

Yep, I'd agree with the OPs who are advising caution.

I used to enjoy a 1 or 2 glasses of wine 3-4 evenings a week. I occasionally would have a 500ml beer instead. I would have had about 10 - 16 units a week (they recommend a max of 14 for us wimmins), and very, very rarely more than that.

I had some bloods done at the GP a few months ago, and she did a full liver panel as routine. My God, did I get a land when the results came back! :eek:

She said that some of my liver enzymes were elevated, and that they are only detectable in the blood when the liver has become damaged. She was asking me how much I drank, and I told her it was something I was always conscious of, so rarely exceeded my 14 units. She said that I'd should watch my drinking, as although some people can drink a bottle of whiskey a day and be grand, others need only have one glass of wine a day to show signs of liver damage.:eek:

I have to tell you, I nearly died, and I went completely off the booze for a while, but my repeat bloods showed everything back to normal again, so now I just limit my drinking to about 2-3 glasses a week.

The doctor told me that women are MUCH more susceptible to cirrhosis and pancreatitis than men, and that most of us don't realise how much damage those couple of glasses of wine a night can do. She said that it's becoming a very big problem in Ireland, and many women don't even know their liver or pancreas is damaged until they are showing symptoms, or are admitted to hospital. The thing is, it's unpredictible - some women would be okay, but many women would damage their liver very badly if drinking at that level for a few years.

I don't want to scare you - I just wanted to share my own experience, but just keep an eye on it in case it's something you could be sensitive to.

Also, you might be interested in reading this:

http://archives.tcm.ie/businesspost/2007/02/25/story21374.asp

Take care!

Edited to add: If you're interested in counting units, they are calculated as follows:

% Alcohol by Volume multiplied by Volume of the drink, then divide by 1000, so for example, if you're drinking wine at 13%, and you have a half-bottle (375ml), then:
(13 * 375)/1000 = 4.875 units of alcohol.

Some people assume 1 glass = 1 unit, but WTH is a 'glass'? I know mine are nice and big!!!

LegacyUser

I am in the same boat. I dont crave alcohol any other time except in the evening. Right now you could pour a large glass of very fine wine and offer it to me, and I would happily turn it down, but if it is from between about 6pm to when I go to sleep, I will happily take it, and if I dont get it I will crave it.

Monday night I abstained from it, and was unable to sleep all night. Could be unrelated, but im not sure.

Last night I tried to abstain, but I had to work late, at home, until about 1am, and the obvious companion was a glass of something, and wine was all we had.

OP, its not an addiction, its just a habit. Unfortunately, habits are sometimes more difficult to get out of than addictions. Maybe try to change your evening schedule? Do something different? I dont know, Im open to ideas myself.

Its easy to say "Stop drinking for 2 weeks", but if it was that simple the OP would not be posting here. Neither you nor I are dependent on it, its just a habit we have gotten into. Like coffee in the morning for some people. Tell a caffiene addict to not drink it in the morning for two weeks and I am sure they will have difficulty doing that too.

Like I said I am open to ideas aswell. Any one else been through this?

smiler26

frasier1 wrote: »

I am in the same boat. I dont crave alcohol any other time except in the evening. Right now you could pour a large glass of very fine wine and offer it to me, and I would happily turn it down, but if it is from between about 6pm to when I go to sleep, I will happily take it, and if I dont get it I will crave it.

Monday night I abstained from it, and was unable to sleep all night. Could be unrelated, but im not sure.

Last night I tried to abstain, but I had to work late, at home, until about 1am, and the obvious companion was a glass of something, and wine was all we had.

OP, its not an addiction, its just a habit. Unfortunately, habits are sometimes more difficult to get out of than addictions. Maybe try to change your evening schedule? Do something different? I dont know, Im open to ideas myself.

Its easy to say "Stop drinking for 2 weeks", but if it was that simple the OP would not be posting here. Neither you nor I are dependent on it, its just a habit we have gotten into. Like coffee in the morning for some people. Tell a caffiene addict to not drink it in the morning for two weeks and I am sure they will have difficulty doing that too.

Like I said I am open to ideas aswell. Any one else been through this?

Thanks - yes, I agree completely, I'd love to be doing something different in the evenings, but the truth is it's difficult. Firstly because like I mentioned most of my friends are married now/with kids etc. Secondly, because most evenings (like you last night) I have some work to do at home, so inevitably I end up logging in with a glass of wine for company.

I should really try and aim to go out and do something 2 nights per week, but I don't even know where to start. I'm not super confident and would be very reluctant to go and join a group or something on my own.

seahorse

I don't see a problem here at all to be honest. I think you're being too hard on yourself. So you hopped out of your PJ's to buy a few glasses of wine? That's not a problem OP. If you ever catch yourself running around the streets IN your PJ's to buy a few bags of smack, that's when you'll know you have problems!

fits

seahorse wrote: »

I don't see a problem here at all to be honest.

Maybe there isnt a problem now, but there could be if OP didnt recognise whats happening. There are times when Ive felt like the OP and I'm sure many reading are the same. I think its good to recognise potential dependencies and address them before they become a problem. Its probably why some people become addicts and not others.

Its probably not a bad idea to give up the booze fully for a few weeks when this happens.

MsFifers

Do you think that the problem may actually be that you realised that wine is somehow filling some kind of hole in your life? Its not so much that you are worried you are an alcoholic, but you NEEDED that glass of wine so badly because without it you couldn't relax/would be v. bored/would feel lonely/start thinking too much.

I think once we realise we are using something as a crutch it can be a shock - and I def do the same with the couple of glasses of wine in the evenings. I've recently cut back for this reason.

Without the wine you are confronted with what it is that is bugging you - and then you can either deal with it or else find another way of ignoring it! Like ice-cream!:D

Davei141

Youve got into a routine cause your bored. Nothing to do with an alcohol problem.

FingersCrossed

Hi OP,
I don't know if you've seen my thread here, but I'm an alcoholic. I don't mean to scare you or seem over the top!

I started like that too, a glass or two at night, a year later it was a bottle, 10 years later - I'm a mess. I'm not saying at all, that you have a problem, but like the other posters suggested, try not drinking every second night, or not during the week etc. I think the fact that you are concious, even now, that it could maybe become a problem in the future means you will be sensible and watch for it developing.

I was suprised when I went to AA meetings how many women my age were there, I'm 37.

Have a glass of wine for me!

smiler26

FingersCrossed wrote: »

Hi OP,
I don't know if you've seen my thread here, but I'm an alcoholic. I don't mean to scare you or seem over the top!

I started like that too, a glass or two at night, a year later it was a bottle, 10 years later - I'm a mess. I'm not saying at all, that you have a problem, but like the other posters suggested, try not drinking every second night, or not during the week etc. I think the fact that you are concious, even now, that it could maybe become a problem in the future means you will be sensible and watch for it developing.

I was suprised when I went to AA meetings how many women my age were there, I'm 37.

Have a glass of wine for me!

Thanks! Yeah, I've read your thread and well done for how far you've come already. You should be really proud of yourself!

I don't know what's wrong with me this week. I have had a really big problem to deal with in my family, and it all got a bit out of hand in the last 2-3 weeks. So, I guess I'm pretty stressed, and the last thing I want ia to be the cause of worry for the rest of my family cos they ahve sooooo much to deal with as it is.

Best of luck! x

seahorse

fits wrote: »

Maybe there isnt a problem now, but there could be if OP didnt recognise whats happening. There are times when Ive felt like the OP and I'm sure many reading are the same. I think its good to recognise potential dependencies and address them before they become a problem.

I think that's true fits, I'm not saying otherwise; I just think sometimes people get a bit overly upset about having a few glasses of wine. I know I've gone up to the garage late in the evening and sat here reading/writing/listening to music to a few glasses of wine and certainly never regarded myself an alcoholic because of it. It'd be different if I couldnt spend an evening any other way, or made an unhealthily regular thing of spending my evenings in that way. From what I've read of the OP's posts, I don't think she's doing that yet.

LegacyUser

Hello ,I just stopped drinking about three weeks ago.
For me I was drinking about 5 bottles of wine a week ,it got to the stage it was making me ill and it was hard to stop.

Everyone needs to stop drinking for a couple of weeks ,every now and again .It lets the liver recover properly.

Hope to stay off it for a couple of months myself ,I think I might need the liver later in life ,fingers crossed

SarahSassy

OP,

its just a habit (in the best possible sense) that you are forming.... Its a comfort drink but anytime we start to rely on the booze is risky... You have gotten good advice here.. I often feel in the evenings I would LOVE a glass of wine but I really dont need it. Its just a reaction to a stressful day... If you dont have wine in the house then you cant have it... The volume you drink is not a problem but the fact that you got up and went out to get it would ring a SMALL alarm bell for me.

MIN2511

I think i might resurrect an old thread of mine cause am back drinking again.... It's depressing!!!
OP how did you get on this weekend?

smiler26

Not great - drank both Friday and Saturday nights, so feeling a bit sh1t about things now. I think I'm going to try and give up drinking at all during the week... but to be honest, I'm pretty nervous about it all

MIN2511

Same here!!!! Drank friday and saturday nights, i want to give up alcohol altogether-BLOODY HARD!!!!

It's like am losing control

smiler26

Well, feel free to PM me anytime you want a chat. I'm not sure of your circumstances, but I think I've reached a turning pioint - just need to be brave and make the right choice now!

Miss Fluff

Try not to have a drink until next weekend OP. I think you are recognizing that there is a POTENTIAL for a problem, recognising that important, doesn't mean you have a problem.

ghouse

Its very good that you already acknowledge that there may be a problem. Most alcoholics do not realise that there is any problem whatsoever with their behaviour.

Anyway, best of luck with it!

Incidentally, I'm male and single. I would have thought we were the majority on boards.ie!

Fysh

I don't think this has been mentioned elsewhere in the thread, but do you live alone? ie when you have your glass or two of wine a night, are you drinking by yourself?

It's not a huge thing in and of itself, but it might be a way of cutting down your intake if you're worried about it - drink socially and leave it off otherwise. (Harder to do than it sounds, I know).