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  • 27-03-2008 5:13pm
    #1
    virtus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31 ✭


    Hi there, Im just getting back into writing and as such I would appreciate it if anyone could give me some feedback on the following poem I wrote. Please bear in mind that I wrote this a number of years ago and have recalled it from memory, so the punctuation and other details may be a little rough. Criticism of the constructive type would be appreciated.

    I tried to emulate Hopkins' style and I was pretty pleased with my effort at the time!




    Morn

    A morning puff, chill and clear
    Awakes the rolling hides of rough.
    Yawns and waves and creaks and sways,
    Neath the young and freshfaced sun.

    A morning chorus splits the frost,
    Awakes the senses breaking through.
    Spreading sweet song between flits and hops,
    Spilling goodwill into yards of yew.

    Where flowers bloom and widows quash
    The morning gloom in a haze of dew,
    This heartfelt sorrow oft' beset
    Till tomorrow, hark be happy yet!


Comments

  • #2
    seahorse
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,164 ✭✭✭seahorse


    Well I know exactly nothing about poetry virtus, so I couldnt comment on how similar to Hopkins style this might be, but I did like it! :)


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