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  • 27-03-2008 9:34am
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,521 ✭✭✭


    A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his 5th grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.


    "Now, class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.

    The second worm, he put into the whiskey. It writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.

    "Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.

    Johnny, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely, responded,



    "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms."

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    When I was younger I hated going to weddings.

    It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me,” You are next".

    They stopped that **** after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    What do u call a woman in heaven?

    An Angel.

    A crowd of woman in heaven?

    A host of Angels.

    And all woman in heaven?





    PEACE ON EARTH
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning,
    He told me to give up my seat to a lady.

    Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.


    Son: But mum,
    I was sitting on daddy's lap


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