Just looking for opinions...

LegacyUser

Hi all,

I'm just looking for opinions on a situation i find myself in, as a fresh perspective usually does nothing but help.

As 99% of problems in here seem to be based upon, my problem lies with a woman. I'm 21 and she's 20, and the reason i seek objective opinions is because i'm a notorious bad judge of character.

After serveral failed attempts at relationships, i've spent the last few months or so, highly enjoying the freedom and uncomplications of single life. But the debauchary associated with that never keeps me interested long. So I find myself texting an aquaintance of old for help at a college event only to find she has left and is working full time in the capital. But she informs me that she will be down in my town that sat night if i'd like to meet up. We do and proceed to have a good night, we kissed and said goodbye. We've been in broken contact since, i met her in Dublin for a night out and when she asked what a night would be like out in my home HOME town (not college one), i invited her down to stay in my house for easter.

Easter arrives and she meets loads of family and friends and we head out, have a good night, spend easter just relaxing in mine until she has to leave due to work in the following morning.
We get along great and because it seems like i'm going to be working in dublin for the summer, it looks like things were made to be. And thats why i don't trust it.

Is there a catch i'm missing??? if any ladies are reading this, do i have the foundations to begin trying for a relationship? Or am i dealing with something i should probably forget about?
I ask because i've been in a relationship before that i thought was flawless only to have that illusion stripped away from me. Hence my reluctance to trust my own disgression in these matters. I'd like to add that i don't have these paranoid thoughts often, i'm usually the one that flutters from girl to girl but i kinda want to try a relationship for a while?

Any opinions would be welcome. Thanks for reading!

Wibbs

How you get to be a good judge of character is by experience mostly. OK you had a failed relationship behind you. Everyone does, pretty much. Don't look on it as a failure, because you did learn something from it. It's what you choose to learn from it and how you act on that knowledge that will define your future relationships health. Now you learned that flawless is impossible. Big romantic mistake we all make at sometime or other. No one's farts smell of roses. So what. The world would be a boring pain in the arse if people were flawless. Don't fall into the easy trap of thinking just because it didn't measure up 100% that all your relationships are doomed from the outset. Most of the sexual relationships you will have in your life will likely fail, If not no one would ever break up. Again so what? While you're in them, especially when it's going well, it's nice, so don't think of what may happen, concentrate on the here and now until it looks like there may be future. Enjoy that. Ok it may go tits up, but if you learn from each one of them you will get better at them and you will be better as a person too. Treat each one as a separate new entity, that you take the experience of previous ones into that will help it. Not baggage. Baggage is for airport handlers. At 21 you've still got a lot of emotional travel to enjoy, feel, get upset by and learn from. Even at 50 if you're still open that's true too. I've known people falling in love, really falling in love for the first time. And this is after a lifetime of jaded experience. You've a ways to go yet.:D Or you could meet that person in a week. If you did it's more likely it would thrive if you have your own experience to bring to bear.

I say go for it. The alternative is not to try. A bit rambling but there you go.

TEH REAL CDP

I was in the exact same situation as you OP, I was in a relationship for close to 4 years and then I ended it - best thing ever - single for a year, I gigged, went backpacking etc. I was 21, got back my life, my confidence... became myself again. It was great. Then I fell for someone who was 2 years older than me - my current gf and I was initially concerned as it happened very fast... but I am crazy about her! I didn't want a gf before I met her and she's the first person I have ever "naturally" clicked with. she is absolutely fantastic, probably the most amazing person I have ever met - we have a lot in common but differ in the ways that are important. She's self secure, encouraging and loving and its just taken me completely by storm. I've had more fun in the past 4 months than in the past 4 years. So OP, go with it. I did and its been a whirlwind. It can work, and this is working out to be one of the best things that ever happened me. I'm completely comfortable when I'm with her. I've learned you cannot define love, sometimes you just have to go with things. Take a chance.

Dizzyblonde

You're over-thinking things. Go with the flow, have a great time and if it works out that's fantastic. On the other hand if it doesn't work out, at least you had fun along the way. There are no guarantees in life or love.
If you want to avoid ever being hurt then you need to stay at home and avoid all girls but you won't have any good times either!

LegacyUser

Thanks guys, i think all i needed was to hear was that its not worth getting worked up over. Thanks for advice, hopefully next time i come near these forums, i'll have alot more confidence in myself.