Feelings for a friend...

LegacyUser

Am I right in saying it's a bad idea to make a move?

Overheal

Not always. Depends on the situation. A lot of the time it leads to complication though.

Wibbs

Depends. If you're a woman with feelings for a guy, there's probably more of a chance. if you're a man then the friendzone is more likely, as chances are she will have made up her mind already if she likes you "in that way". If you're gay then there's the added complication of whether they are too. More info would be good.

Marksie

Unrego wrote: »

Am I right in saying it's a bad idea to make a move?

Yes, it can be a bad move

and

No, it can be a great move.

Which given the amount of information in your post is about the best advice you will get

4Xcut

If you make your feelings known, then no matter how comfortable they are if its a negative answer you will have to break contact to get over them.

Now, you must way up whether you want to risk loosing them as a friend for the chance of having more.

As was said above, if you are a woman you have a better chance. Most guys will give things a shot with someone they get on well with and think is attractive if they are single. However, women have a tendency to box certain men off in a "friend" box - the dreaded friendzone.

Personally, if you're a woman and he thinks you're attractive, go for it.
If you're a guy, flip a coin. Because that's what its going to come down to without more information. And if you need to ask here, then you must not have enough information to make the decision.

Best of luck

turnsoutIwas

Thats exactly how I got with my girlfriend. We were really close friends for ages and then I started getting feelings for her. Very nearly left it so as not to mess up the friendship but I went for it and we're still together now two years on.

LegacyUser

i did it and best thing i've done!!

Miss Fluff

Oh Gawd I'm in the same boat and would LOVE to go for it but won't until he gets around to dumping his girlfriend so having to wait patiently in the wings looking fabulous....sigh:(

star-pants

I agree with it can be good and bad thing, it all depends on circumstances and who likes who.
I've had two cases where male friends told me they had feelings for me (not tooo far apart from each other), one of which I'd been friends with for years and knew a lot about me. I was gobsmacked to say the least, I'd only ever thought of us as friends and didn't know what to say/do. I explained that I was only interested in friendship but felt really awkward for ages because I was afraid to confide in them anymore. We're still a little distant.
Second case was maybe 2 months later, we'd only been friends a good few months but again I'd confided in them a lot. I was thrown a little but thought I'd give it a shot. Worst idea ever. Not only was I not ready (I'd been through a bad breakup) but I began to realise that we were better as friends. Things went completely arseways and we're not talking now.

I'm not trying to put you off - but circumstances are a major factor in this type of thing. If it could work then it would be great, there are some here who've said that they've gone for it and it worked out. Just be careful, and as others said - if you've a bit more information people might be able to advise better.

LegacyUser

Hopefully things will work out for you both, but if it falls apart you can expect the other person to never want to talk to you again.

Sp learned that the hard way... as did i

Splinter

i did this with a friend of mine a couple of years ago, and got a very firm "no"... but as the years passed i met my current girlfriend, we became good friends and things are where they are now 2 years on and going strong.

LegacyUser

Can be good or bad. been there and done that twice. first time total and utter disaster - was friends with a guy, turns out we both fancied each other, ended up sleeping together, didnt work out, and ended up dropping all contact to stop the headwrecking, so lost a good friend that time.

Second time it happened (many years later mind, I dont fancy every friend I have!), couldnt have been better. still together and very happily married. What Im saying is - could go either way, none of us here can judge with such little background info, and even if we had that info, we still wouldnt be able to judge - only you can do that, so weigh it all up and see if you should go for it. If it works, could be the best thing you ever had!