Quick One's

rocky25

One day, a man comes home from work and greets his wife. Upon seeing him, she asks for £20 to buy meat for dinner.


He leads her to a mirror, holds up the £20 bill and says to her, "Honey, the £20 in the mirror is yours. The other belongs to me."


Satisfied with his "ingenious" remark, he sits back and the incident is forgotten.
The next day, he comes home and greets his wife.


When he goes in the dining room, the table is laden with meats and delicious foods.
Shaken, he asks his wife where she got the money.


She leads him to the same mirror and lifts up her skirt. "See that meat in the mirror? That one belongs to you.


The other belongs to the butcher."

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There was a Englishman, an Irishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Provence.


Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. Then there was a kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap.


When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there.


The Englishman was thinking: 'The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead.'


Claudia Schiffer was thinking: 'The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it.'


And the Irishman was thinking: 'This is great. The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that English PRICK again.'
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Condoms:
Imagine if all major brands kept their tag line


Sainsbury Condoms - making life taste better


Tesco Condoms - every little helps


Nike Condoms - Just do it.


Peugeot Condoms - The ride of your life.


Galaxy Condoms - Why have rubber when you can have silk.


KFC Condoms - Finger licking good.


Minstrels Condoms -melt in your mouth, not in your hands.


Safeway Condoms – Lightening the load.


Abbey National condoms - because life is complicated enough.


Coca Cola condoms - The real thing.


Ever Ready condoms - keep going and going.


Pringles condoms - once you pop, you cant stop


Burger King Condoms - Home of the whopper


Goodyear Condoms - for a longer ride go wide


FCUK condoms - no comment required.


Muller light condoms - so much pleasure, but where's the pain.


Halfords condoms - we go the extra mile.


Royal Mail condoms - I saw this and thought of you.


Andrex condoms - Soft, strong and very very long


Renault condoms - size really does matter!


Ronseal condoms - does exactly what it says on the tin


Ronseal quick-drying condoms - its dry and waterproof in 30 minutes


Domestos condoms - gets right under the rim!!! (Please)


Heineken condoms - refreshes parts that other condoms just cannot reach


Carlsberg condoms - probably the best condom in the world


AA Condoms - for the 4th emergency service


Pepperami condoms - it's a bit of a animal


Polo condoms - the condom with the hole






The Manchester United Condom... One Yank and your whole world falls apart.

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I thought this was funny and cute:p

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OBlgSz8sSM&eurl=http://widget.slide.com/widgets/yoYtWraps.swf

Plug

The second is brilliant!:D

mickrourke

Did you know that the family in the video was actually the Manson Family?
Peter, with his younger brother Charlie, or Charles as he liked to be called later on in life.