No friends-it seriously sucks.

LegacyUser

Hi, I have an account on Boards which I don't really use, but either way I prefer to go unrgd for this...I don't want people to know I'm a loser.

Ok, here is my story. I am 18 years old, and I'm basically a normal All-Irish(?) guy. I like sports goiing gym, music, movies, TV, and clowning about.

The problem is I have nobody to do anything with!!!!! Most of the time, I'm cool with it, but then sometimes it just gets me down. Like I go into town on myself all the ****ing time. I sit on my own every night all the time.

I feel I have lost out on what they call ''the best years of your life''. Everything used to be so different, prior to nearly two years ago, I had great friends in school, and had two 'real' friends who I just got on great with. Then the two of them moved away, and since finishing school last June, I have nobody, even though I'm in college.

The thing is I'm not looking for a few mates to go to the pub with, I'm looking for just the casual friendship(s) I used to have.

This is partly down to my own fault though, I rejected going to 'free gafs' and stuff in 5th and 6th year, so maby they felt it just wasn't worth keeping talking to me.

What spurred this on was being in town today with my mum(how pathetic!!!) and seeing all these cool looking kids just hanging out, and having a good time.

Sorry I'm sort of writing what I'm thinking.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Quick question for you Tyler: Are you interested in other people?

I ask becuase that was my problem when I was your age, although it took me ages to figure it out. I wasn't all that interested and when I was, I never really showed it. Never asked questions, what did they do at the weekend? Where did they go? Did they have fun?

You seem to have a lot of social outlets, so making contacts isn't the problem, which leads me to think that the problem is in the next step - building a friendship. If someone tells you that they're doing something at the weekend, ask them how it went on Monday. Tell them what you do.

The rest, as they saw, will follow...

Hope that helps.

Edit - And to hell with the cool kids (what the fvck do they know??!) If you want to go into twon with your mother, go into town with your mother. I meet mine for lunch and a mull around the shops two or three times a week.

MizzLolly

You're 18 and in college... Stop worrying, you have so many opportunities. I came to my college last year with nobody, I moved away from my family and friends and started off new. It sounds daunting but by the middle of my second week there I had a good group of friends. It's easier than you think.

There must be one or two people in your lectures who you say hello to every now and again. After your next lecture why not ask if they wana get a cup of coffee with you?! Pretend you didn't understand the class or something. Swap numbers/bebos etc.. You'll be fine seriously.

Good Luck

newestUser

Relax, friends come and go. Most people will go through a patch in their lives where their social life isn't up to much.

Don't get too hung up about your number of friends, how often you go out, etc. Rewarding friendships are those where you actually like the other people, and not just because they're rent-a-mob, but because you like their company. If you're in college, go out there and join clubs and societies, join loads of them, try them out, be open-minded join stuff that you wouldn't have considered before. *Really* make an effort to join in what people are doing there. If nothing else, you'll learn what kind of people are attracted to what things, and you'll learn what you like and don't like. Get a part-time job. Work in HMV or a clothes shop or something where there's lots of other people your age. Don't turn down opportunities to go to parties etc.

You've plenty of opportunities to broaden your social circle. Just:

a) Don't get hung up about your social life being a bit **** at the moment, don't start thinking along the lines of 'oh, I'm such a loser'. Everyone goes through these barren patches, you're not special in that respect

b) Don't get desperate, don't hang out with people just because it's better than being on your own. That kind of neediness will attract people who will use and abuse like flies to sh!t.

c) You get what you give. Don't come back here complaining a year from now if you weren't bothered to step outside your comfort zone and do the things that people on this thread told you to do.

<EDIT>Just goes to show though, after all the threads started by people who are in their mid-twenties and older along the lines of 'oh, I have no friends, I moved away from my school and college friends, and now I've no-one, it's easy to make friends when you're younger, and it's not now', that making friends can be tough whatever your personal circumstances!

Overheal

Tyler Durden wrote: »

Hi, I have an account on Boards which I don't really use, but either way I prefer to go unrgd for this...I don't want people to know I'm a loser.

Ok, here is my story. I am 18 years old, and I'm basically a normal All-Irish(?) guy. I like sports goiing gym, music, movies, TV, and clowning about.

The problem is I have nobody to do anything with!!!!! Most of the time, I'm cool with it, but then sometimes it just gets me down. Like I go into town on myself all the ****ing time. I sit on my own every night all the time.

I feel I have lost out on what they call ''the best years of your life''. Everything used to be so different, prior to nearly two years ago, I had great friends in school, and had two 'real' friends who I just got on great with. Then the two of them moved away, and since finishing school last June, I have nobody, even though I'm in college.

The thing is I'm not looking for a few mates to go to the pub with, I'm looking for just the casual friendship(s) I used to have.

This is partly down to my own fault though, I rejected going to 'free gafs' and stuff in 5th and 6th year, so maby they felt it just wasn't worth keeping talking to me.

What spurred this on was being in town today with my mum(how pathetic!!!) and seeing all these cool looking kids just hanging out, and having a good time.

Sorry I'm sort of writing what I'm thinking.

The Best Years of Your Life, are relative. 2 years ago I would have told you it was the summers I spent at home with my brother smoking weed. Now I'd tell you its the years I've spent in college. Its reasonable to feel that way when youre in a slump but you have to be rational and see that things will get better.

Youre only just into college. Relax.

I had a group of 4 friends I talked to all throughout secondary school and I havent spoken to them much at all since I moved out to College. It sucked but you know; it just becomes a point of growing up. I could pick up the phone and relive old times but none of us are really at a stage where we can drop everything we're at and just meet up for coffee. It would be nice, but it just isnt feasible.

af_thefragile

Hey,
I was about the same too. I guess i still kinda am, but better.
There was a point in my life where i had a girlfriend and she was all i had. Then she left me and i was all alone. Literally all alone. I had to deal with the break up and everything all by myself.

Then there was my college which sucked. All the people did/do in there is party. I'm not a big party guy now and i don't drink so i always felt left out and such.
Now i had loads of "friends" in coll (I'm still quite a popular guy in there, most of the people in my coll know me and speak to me) But all of my friends were just name sake so i stopped hanging around with them and started looking for the few true friends that really mattered. It wasn't long before i started to deferentiate between all the name sake friends i had and the 2-3 proper close friends i had. As a result i stopped hanging around with the name sake friends completely as they were just a big waste of time.

So now i do spend a lot of time on my own. But it suits me that way. I've got a lot to do in my life and if i was going out and partying with mates all the time, i'ld never have time to do any of the things i plan to. Music is my life and i'm currently working on a solo project. Its not easy and takes a lot of time and effort in my already busy life. Its only cuz of the lack of big group of social friends in my life that i can concentrate on what really matters to me and work on it.
And when i need friends, i've got the 2-3 close friends, and my 1 best friend whom i can get to anytime i want.

So what i meant to say by all of that is first figure out what really means to you. Is it the group of people you see partying and having "fun" every night, or is it something else more personal to you.
Once you've got that figured out, work on it. Friends will come your way anyway. You don't need to have a group of 20 friends. Cuz most of the times none of them don't matter at all neither can you count or rely on them. The ones who matter most are just the 2-3 close friends you'll find throughout your life. Don't worry, they'll come. Till then just figure out what you want from you life and work on that.

And its what you do now that'll determine the best time of your life.
You could spend all your time with the lads down in the pub and then after a few years noticing you're still where you were back then, you look back at your life and see what you've really got out of it.
Or you could do something you love, something that really means to you and then see yourself grow over the years to come. Where you can always look back and see how far you've come from where you were.


And btw, i feel i should add, by no way are you a loser!
Infact i feel you belong in the few extraordinary people who've decided to step out of the mainstream, stop following the masses like sheep and find a way of their own.
Afterall sometimes is better to see where the masses are heading and move in the opposite direction. The chances are better that way!