Difficult choice to make

nicolo

Ok bit confused so if anyone has any advice, twud be appreciated.
I’ve been a professional musician and illustrator for about 5 years and have been thinking about moving to London to try get some work over there as the Irish music scene isn’t much use and I can’t find work at the illustration.
I was originally intending to move over about 3 years ago but I met a girl and fell madly in love and decided to stay here. Anyways last year things started going wrong for me, my health went bad and I was constantly depressed because I couldn’t find work at what I wanted to work at and wound up working crappy jobs. Things came to a head back around last August, I quit my job because I thought I’d gotten another job (which then fell through) things with my girlfriend had been going downhill due to stress and we broke up. I wound up having a row with one of my friends and I lost touch with most of them, I couldn’t afford the apartment on my own so I had to move out. By Christmas I was practically bed ridden had lost my girlfriend/ home/ all my friends and my job, I even had to get my dog put down it was just one of those runs of bad luck. I had pretty much nothing and so I decided that it would be the perfect time for a new beginning and to move to London. So I booked my ticket for April as I had some stuff I need to finish off before I went and moved back to my parents (as there was no point getting a new apartment and a lease).
So that was that I was feeling better about moving and was looking forward to the move. However since then I got a great job teaching music in a primary school that I absolutely love and it has amazing pay there’s also a chance that when I come back next year I might have some work teaching children’s art classes which I’d really love, I’ve joined a gym and have gotten really into my health and feel great, then I discovered I have an allergy to wheat and gluten which was causing the stomach problems and (I had no idea allergies could cause this) it also caused lethargy and depression so since I’ve cut that out I feel great. I’ve been offered positions in several bands and I found out that I could (and now have) get the grants I needed to start up a graphic design company and already have a few contracts in for work. I’ve been offered rooms in two places and I have significant money saved up to do pretty much anything I want.
So I’m kind of torn because it’s kind of a gamble. On one hand I could very easily build up what I have here and achieve a kind of comfortable happiness or I could risk it all and move to London where I have a genuine chance of having the career I want.

biko

I think you should give London a year and then decide whether to stay there or return to Ireland.

patrickolee

London could be very lonely... if you fell alone here it could be a lot worse there. I'd give the teaching job a go, if its not to your liking in a year or so, you can always move then. Teaching jobs can be hard to get and if its something you enjoy, it might not seem like work. Stay a while.

Zen 2nd

Choose yourself because how are we supposed to know what is the right choice for you?

nicolo

Zen 2nd wrote: »

Choose yourself because how are we supposed to know what is the right choice for you?

you do realize what forum this is right?

greenkittie

From the sounds of things you have it sorted here, theres no point in moving and having to try and start all over again.

SarahSassy

greenkittie wrote: »

From the sounds of things you have it sorted here, theres no point in moving and having to try and start all over again.

+1

Give the job here a chance for a year, get some experience under your belt with the teaching so if London does pan out the way you want it to you have that experience to fall back on.

andyl222

if u having a teaching job you get a long 2-3 month holiday for summer. head over then and test the waters, if anything materialises that means you wanna stay there so be it....

watna

I agree with SarahSAssy. Give it a go here for another year and if things haven't progressed as much as you like try London.

If you're happy now, I wouldn't risk moving away in just a month. Being happy with your life and situation can be really hard and as you've had such a bad time recently I'd keep wih what you're doing now. You sound really positive about it but not that keen on moving away.

Also, as said above you might be lonely in London which could set you back a lot. Don't underestimate the power of having your family around you to make you feel secure. Being at home might have something to do with you feeling a lot better.

Best of luck.

Semele

As others have said and I know from experience- London can be a lonely place. If you were suffering from depression, instability etc here previously but now have got yourself sorted and are making a go of things then it would be foolish to put yourself right back where you were and have to start over, especially without the support of people you know.

I don't think your dilemma is as black and white as it seems: staying here and doing the teaching art and music jobs isn't compromising your ambitions entirely- they are fields that it is hard to get steady paid work in and you did say you like the work. It's not an either-or situation though- you can still carry on with your music and freelance illustrating but with the security of a paid job in a similar area (considerably better than supporting yourself working in mcdonalds!).

I'd say give it a year here to see how things pan out and then reassess your life- how happy you are, how fulfilled you feel, how much/whether at all you still feel you're missing an opportunity by not moving to London etc and then make an informed decision on what is now mere speculation. London and everything it represents for you will still be there in a year- the opportunities you have here will not be.

See how you enjoy the jobs, join one of the bands and see how that goes, see how much your desire to move was caused by your depression and circumstances at the time...

Sometimes its easy to fixate on an option such as moving and consider it the solution to all of your problems. This is a good thing when times are bad as it motivates you. It becomes a bad thing when it prevents you from seeing how much you have changed things in your life as it is. Not doing it then does not mean selling yourself short. It had the desired effect- you needed change, you made change. Your life has the potential to be very good.

davyjose

SarahSassy wrote: »

+1

Give the job here a chance for a year, get some experience under your belt with the teaching so if London does pan out the way you want it to you have that experience to fall back on.

+2 London will still be there in a year. And yeah, as someone said, London can be an awesome city, but it can be a lonely city too.

Billie May

I think you already made your decision. I've been through that about a year ago...made the move to Ireland. It wasn't always easy but I'm glad I did. Give it a chance in England and when you come back to Ireland you will find your way, with the experience you gained it will only be easier.

Try to stay in contact with the people you really care and remember it is not the other side of the world..

The Sweeper

Yep, stay where you are. Normally I'd advocate the move, the change, the new adventure - but that's when someone is stagnating where they are.

You're not stagnating. You've made giant steps from the bad times, you're feeling better, looking better, good job, good pay, and most importantly you're only just back on your feet. On top of that, you've a bunch of opportunities right on your doorstep that I think you'd be mad to blow off.

London isn't the be-all and end-all. There are some really great opportunities and one of the biggest of those is to make money in your chosen career - but you need to have a very strong foundation behind you before you go, or you may discover you've messed up what you had.

Something else I think people should do before moving to London is book themselves some weekend trips. You can travel to and from London cheaply, and it's worth it - take a cheap plane ride and book yourself into a hostel, and spend time getting to know the place. Look up some companies you think you'd like to work for, and go wander around the street that their office is on. There is a whole life experience aspect of living in London that goes hand in hand with the work itself.

Anyone who thinks that's unnecessary or a waste of money, look at it this way: when you emigrate, the day you touch down you're on your own for the forseeable future. You're in a strange place living with a new currency. You've to figure out the public transport systems. When you take a job - especially in London, your new workmates may be very friendly at work, but none of them may be potential mates. If you do a rental share your house mates are most likely to be your source of friends.

When you do a tourist visit of London, you may be likely to get black taxis everywhere. Your budget won't support that when you move there, so you have to learn the public transport systems - and I don't mean the tube, because the tube is frankly transport for idiots and if you can't figure it out after two goes I despair of your ability to relocate successfully. I'm talking buses, overland walking - there are PLENTY of places in London where, if you take the tube, it could take you 45 minutes, and a bus and shanks mare will take you 20 instead.

For now, stay where you are, do the job you're doing, get stronger, fitter and happier and look at taking the occasional long weekend to investigate your possible future life.

nicolo

Wow, cheers! thats actualy helped alot. It's kind of handy cos I think I'm a bit too close to the situation to realistically deal with it. think I'm going to stay here and maybe head over this summer fer a bit and come back late summer and start back in the school, I think I've enough graphics work to keep the company busy (and me in London as I can send it back) for 3 months.
thanks again!

humanji

Granted, I'm a bit late to this, but I say you should stay here. It seems like you've got it made.

But I also say you should try to get back in touch with your friends. Try and make up fro the problems of the past. Good friends are hard to come by and are worth fighting for. Maybe even try to contact your ex. Not to try and get back together with, but just to be on good terms with. To try and clear the air. To try and complete your new beginning.