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working with nutters....

  • 13-03-2008 9:39pm
    #1
    LUNA...
    Closed Accounts Posts: 67 ✭✭


    Hi,

    Need to vent a bit, not sure where to start, but here goes.
    I work in a small office of 6 people, myself, one other female and 4 males. I get on with all of them quite well.

    Basically 3 of the people really don't get on with each other. Which is a lot when it's in a small office. Because I get on with all of them, lately I feel like I'm being used as somewhere for them to vent about each other. TBH it's starting to get to me or has done today at least. I'm a good humoured person by nature, and don't let things upset me easily. But today was crap in work and even though I went in feeling happy and upbeat, I ended up coming out with all the crap that they were dealing with off loaded on to me.

    I was just wondering if anyone else has had this in work. Or if anyone has any advice on how to deal with it.

    Thanks,


Comments

  • #2
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    Be your usual self except when one starts talking about one of the others & just say "I don't want to get involved" - put your hands up & walk away. Some people deal with stress by sharing their problems. Working with people you don't get on with is stressful & they are trying to manage their stress by telling you.


  • #3
    Overheal
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 86,729 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Isnt there a superior that is meant to deal with all of thsoe issues? An HR manager?


  • #4
    Todoquetengo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 123 ✭✭Todoquetengo


    Hey Luna, feel your pain, we have one nutter at work in a relatively small office too and that person affects everyone to some degree and lately it's really getting to eveyone.

    I know it's hard but you have to try put it out of your mind when you get home or it'll eat you up. Maybe subtley let the others know you don't want to get involved. Or can you talk to the boss about the situation? Maybe he/she could broker some peace or set some ground rules?

    I think venting about the situation helps though and I always feel better after doing it so vent away here :D


  • #5
    **Timbuk2**
    Moderators, Education Moderators, Motoring & Transport Moderators Posts: 7,396 Mod ✭✭✭✭**Timbuk2**


    I understand what you mean. It's hard to be neutral between feuding parties etc

    Well try simply saying you don't want to get involved.
    You could also try a more forceful "Stop whining about it like a little 10 year old boy and face the problem head on" (in different words probably though!)

    Just a few suggestions. If they continue to trash talk on and on, allow them to talk (it probably helps them if they have someone to talk to), but just remind yourself not to let the bad stuff get in as it probably doesn't directly concern you if you know what I mean


  • #6
    LUNA...
    Closed Accounts Posts: 67 ✭✭LUNA...


    Thanks for all the replies, I feel better already !!

    I understand that if you're stressed, talking to someone helps and to be honest that's why I've put up with it for so long because I was trying to be the peace maker. But lately they seem to be just taking the pi$$. They're bitching at each other constantly, then I'm getting the full low down on it, plus some of their personal home issues thrown in for good measure.......and at one point today I thought I may actually run screaming out of the office on to the main floor shouting "THEY'RE ALL MAD, GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN" (you have to see the funny side at this time of night)

    I mean we are in work after all so to a certain extent I think you have to somewhat keep your personal feelings back a little, get on with it?? Right???

    I think from tomorrow on I am just going to tell each of them if they start (and they will) that I don't want to get involved. Off load somewhere else please, and leave your personal issues at the door. (Well maybe I won't say all of that, but Oh how I'd love too)

    Anyway, I feel better now, thanks again.......


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  • #7
    DetectivFoxtrot
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,601 ✭✭✭DetectivFoxtrot


    I think everybody has a nutter in work that they have to deal with. I managed one for the hole of last year and got so fed up with her **** I requested my manager to do a team re-org so someone else could manage her for a while. Now it's bliss, but the poor person who got landed wth her has aged about 5 years in that last 2 months..

    What I noticed was this person really started to affect my mood in work - she would bitch about everyone to me and by the time the conversation was ver I was irritated and deflated. don't let that happen to you. Make a point of saying you don't want to know, they'll soon get the message and go and bend someone else's ear.....;)


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