Vibrators in Toilets.

slipss

Well I tried to think of a witty funny thread title but I couldn't.

Anyways, I was in the pub today after work and I went to the Gents. So whats the first thing I see when I walk in? Thats right, beside the condom machine is a battery powered vibrator machine. I was just curious if this is a common thing. I never buy condoms in a pub so it's possible I wouldn't have noticed them before. Also to the girls here, two questions. Are these machines provided in the Ladies? Also what would be your reaction if you were to meet a fella in a pub some saturday night and the two of you hooked up and as you were having a bit of a kiss and a cuddle outside while waiting on your taxi, and you were to hear that tell tale *buzzzzzzzzzzz* and he was to produce a disposable vibrator from his pocket?

Dave!

slipss wrote: »

Well I tried to think of a witty funny thread title but I couldn't.

Anyways, I was in the pub today after work and I went to the Gents. So whats the first thing I see when I walk in? Thats right, beside the condom machine is a battery powered vibrator machine. I was just curious if this is a common thing. I never buy condoms in a pub so it's possible I wouldn't have noticed them before. Also to the girls here, two questions. Are these machines provided in the Ladies? Also what would be your reaction if you were to meet a fella in a pub some saturday night and the two of you hooked up and as you were having a bit of a kiss and a cuddle outside while waiting on your taxi, and you were to hear that tell tale *buzzzzzzzzzzz* and he was to produce a disposable vibrator from his pocket?

Flying a kite, slipss?

Xavi6

slipss wrote: »

Well I tried to think of a witty funny thread title but I couldn't.

'Skangers to get new 'buzz' from public toilets?'

DonalN

"Have yours shaken. not stirred!"

bronte

Was it one of those durex ones? When I worked in boots, we found one taken out of the packet one day! :eek:

dr.bollocko

Aw. That's really romantic. Do they have herpe cream too?
I was walkin into work this morning. Well I say walking, more drooling and moaning and crawling into work this morning. Anyways, what did I notice outside the police station I live next to here in too hot Melbourne?
A single rubber glove. With two brown fingers.
Now outside the police station there is a sign prohibiting smokers from smoking within 10 metres of this building. Yet within a conservative 5 metres of same building bum fun is clearly being had. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but surely its .... more socially acceptable to smoke?
Also outside the same building is a sign saying "No entry to building permitted until you have checked in at reception."
The reception is inside the building.

Sir Gallagher

Are they not cockrings? They're supposed to work wonders, she hasn't had the pleasure of me using one yet.

javaboy

slipss wrote: »

Anyways, I was in the pub today after work and I went to the Gents. So whats the first thing I see when I walk in? Thats right, beside the condom machine is a battery powered vibrator machine.

You should really edit that to say vibrator dispenser. Otherwise it just sounds wrong. So very wrong. :eek:

"How did you contract Cochafalloffitis Mr. Smith?"

"Eh... well see there was a queue to use the jax and I saw this machine so....."

dr.bollocko

Thats fairly terminal that Cochafalloffitis so I understand.
Catch a fallin cock and put it in your pocket put it in your pocket put it in your pocket.
For the later painful surgery.

javaboy

dr.bollocko wrote: »

Thats fairly terminal that Cochafalloffitis so I understand.
Catch a fallin cock and put it in your pocket put it in your pocket put it in your pocket.
For the later painful surgery.

Fairly terminal? How does that work? Does it half-kill you and then stop? Would the make a wish foundation put a lower ceiling on the wish budget in these cases?

Avram Grant has the look of a man with something fairly terminal.

dr.bollocko

In fairness, if your knob falls off, The Make a Wish foundation aint gonna be able to do much to help you out, regardless of the budget.
JohnWayneBobbititis. Now thats worse.

javaboy

There's a hilarious video on theonion.com about a kid bankrupting MakeAWish by wishing for unlimited wishes:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/child_bankrupts_make_a_wish_0

Xavi6

ROFL brilliant vid

witnessmenow

"grant him unlimited wishes between now and the day he dies"

"one can only hope that that's coming soon"

:rolleyes:

monkeyfudge

Sir Gallagher wrote: »

Are they not cockrings? They're supposed to work wonders,

They're great fun at boards beers events too.

You get a couple of them and set them loose at each other on the table 'Robot Wars' style.

javaboy wrote: »

There's a hilarious video on theonion.com about a kid bankrupting MakeAWish by wishing for unlimited wishes:

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/child_bankrupts_make_a_wish_0

The advert for the 'Irish' body wash is almost as laughable.

witnessmenow

I assume the video isnt real though. The onion is a free paper in america (new york anyways) that was basically full of funny bull**** storys , but it is the US of eh? after all, someone was on a toilet for 2 years, this hardly less believable!

Xavi6

witnessmenow wrote: »

I assume the video isnt real though. The onion is a free paper in america (new york anyways) that was basically full of funny bull**** storys , but it is the US of eh? after all, someone was on a toilet for 2 years, this hardly less believable!

I can confirm for you that yes the story, like everything else in the hilarious Onion, is in fact made up and I'm sure the person who posted it knew that.

javaboy

Xavi6 wrote: »

I can confirm for you that yes the story, like everything else in the hilarious Onion, is in fact made up and I'm sure the person who posted it knew that.

It's made up alright like half of the tabloids but at least the onion is funny

Sherifu

The make a wish onion video is hilarious. Saw it on some other site a while back that didn't mention it was from the onion. Made me wonder for a minute.

humanji

Those vibrators are great for putting into peoples pints whenthey're half cut. They know that's something wrong but just can't figure it out. And when they finally realise why their drink was tingling, the look of horror is a proper kodak moment.

danniemcq

monkeyfudge wrote: »

They're great fun at boards beers events too.

You get a couple of them and set them loose at each other on the table 'Robot Wars' style.

tish who needs beer and computers when you got cock rings! i hear tar aldarion has a drawer full of them?

randylonghorn

danniemcq wrote: »

tish who needs beer and computers when you got cock rings! i hear tar aldarion has a drawer full of them?

She keeps a supply on hand for "guests"? 0_o

Splinter

ahh just the thread to make me smile in the morning...
hadnt thought of dropping it in peoples pints... might have to mention it on the next night out...

Miguel_Sanchez

monkeyfudge wrote: »

The advert for the 'Irish' body wash is almost as laughable.

I was hoping that was a joke when it came on first but apparently not.

I got to get me some of that - the lasses won't be able to keep their hands off me to be sure, to be sure!

Jumpy

IIIIIII ddddooonnnttt kkknnnooowww wwwhhhaaattt ttthhheee OOOPPPP iiissss ttttalllkkiiinng aaabbbooouuutttt... III hhhaaavvveee nnneeevvveeerrr ssseeeeennnn ttthhheeessseee vvviiibbbrraaattooorrr mmmaaacccchhhiiiinnneeesss ooofff wwwhhhiiiccchhh yyyooouuu ssspppeeeeaaakkk.

Rob_l

I have previously used these things never with some random girl I had picked up though they have their uses

Duggy747

Vibrator in the jacks? Hmm, must've been a uni-sex toilet.

Finally, my theory proven that beautiful women go to the toilets together to do more than just "powder their noses".

Rob_l

Rob_l wrote: »

never with some random girl I had picked up though they have their uses

Isn't that the point of them, a lazy mans way out?

Rob_l

Moonbaby wrote: »

Isn't that the point of them, a lazy mans way out?

A lazy mans way out of what?

I used them to increase the experience the particular woman was quite fond of them and purchased some from the chemist.

Are you trying to cast aspersions about my already dubious character?

Charlie

When me and the boys were over on jolly lads trip to Newcastle, we decided to expand our horizons and mix it up with the simpler folk, so we went to this really chavvy disco bar (Real reason was every drink for the night was £1)

Anyways, right up beside the main bar they had a full blown Ann summers vending machine. Imagine a Coca-Cola vending machine, except it was branded Ann Summers and stocked all sorts of wibbly wobbly wonders. Thing is though, it suited the place to a T. I can still imagine lovely ladies like herself swanning up to the machine and making a purchase.

javaboy

charlie mchugh wrote: »

When me and the boys were over on jolly lads trip to Newcastle, we decided to expand our horizons and mix it up with the simpler folk, so we went to this really chavvy disco bar (Real reason was every drink for the night was £1)

Anyways, right up beside the main bar they had a full blown Ann summers vending machine. Imagine a Coca-Cola vending machine, except it was branded Ann Summers and stocked all sorts of wibbly wobbly wonders. Thing is though, it suited the place to a T. I can still imagine lovely ladies like herself swanning up to the machine and making a purchase.

Looks like Johnny Adair with dreads

Popinjay

The batteries in them only last about fifteen minutes or so*. Not really much use. The vending machine ones anyway. Not sure about the Durex ones.





*Er.... I've heard.

Dun laoire

I'd say they are there for the poor unfortunates that suffer with "brewers droop"