Need to know I'm not strange

LegacyUser

Okay, well I'm a regular poster but going unreg for this one. I'm 25, great family, great OH, great friends, finacially sound for the time being. But feel terrible.

I've been to my doc twice, and she's run blood tests etc etc to make sure all my levels are as they should be, and they are. I can be moody sometimes, but generally a happy disposition. I guess especially in the weather, and I do believe I'm partial to SAD.

I've an okay job, a stepping stone job, but my hearts not in it. I have to be smiling and encouraging all day long, but when I leave work my face drops from a smile to a face of relief. I'm being false I guess, but I know I shouldnt have to be. NOr do I want to be. I'm only in the job just over a year. Waiting to hear about a masters. Everything seems nice and normal, but I still feel crap.

I understand people will read this and think I'm fierce selfish, I have it lucky, and what right have it to whinge about my life. I recognise I do, totally, and Im privelged, but I just feel so down most of the time, and the doctors cant find anything. I'm not looking for them to find something sinister as such, I'm not a hypochondriac, but something that might reason me feeling so low.

My days are busy, I keep it that way so I wont get distracted. I volunteer, take time out for family and friends and myself, and even try new things. I am healthy, but admit to comfort eating even tho I'm still only 8.5 stone.

So I cant seem to find why. I always blame the weather..am I so wrong?

I hope this doesnt all sound petty, there are so many sad problems online.

Lila

gerTheGreat

It's not selfish to feel down. I know that you said that you are waiting to hear on a masters, but why not switch jobs? A lot of companies may even (partly) fund you education if it's relevant to your job.

Also, try to take a little more time for yourself. Even if it's only an hour a day or an evening a week. There's nothing wrong with having a little "me time".

Ger

LegacyUser

I'm assuming 'me time' means anything except in time in front of the computer..which I'm partial to..thanks for the advice.

bronte

You're not strange op, i know what you mean about having your 'work face' on all day.
It can be draining!
It can also be frustrating feeling like your life's on hold.
I'm also wating to get a place on a course to do my masters
Really just want to get on with it.
Just know that you are not alone, and everyone feels a bit fed up at times.
Like was mentioned before, do take time out for yourself to do something you like....even if it's a nice relaxing bath or watching a dvd or something.

joseph brand

I do feel the same sometimes. Busy hectic lifetyle can be depressing.

I myself blame the weather. We have not had proper sunshine since May last year. I know that if I woke up and it was sunny and warm tomorrow morning, I would be a lot happier. But it's always cold and wet.

You're not alone.

Moss

It sounds like you have mild depression. You should talk to your doctor again about it.

Oryx

I went through something similar at around the same stage as you. I did all the blood tests too, I thought I had anaemia or something. The doc did ask me to look at my life a little and see where i was under strain, and if i was pushing a bit too hard, and even not getting enough rest.

I was fed up with work at the time, and dissatisfied. And I was always busy. I worked, I studied, I volunteered, I trained physically. Looking back, no wonder I felt terrible, I never stopped.

Sounds to me like you need to ease up a bit, and maybe even change your direction. No point being a perfectionist or pushing so hard if its exhausting you and making you depressed and ill.

aye

do you do any exercise?
the release of endorphins after a bit of exercise would help.

txt_mess

Not sure whether this would be included in a normal blood test but you should ask to have your hormones checked and before everyone gives out I'm not trying to make a funny comment.

I have several friends / family who have ran into issues with over active glands in one way and lacking of hormones in another way and it can make you moody to say the least. But definitely one to ask your doctor about.

JuliusCaesar

Lila Unreg wrote: »

but my hearts not in it. I have to be smiling and encouraging all day long, but when I leave work my face drops from a smile to a face of relief. I'm being false I guess,

This is, or was, classified as emotional labour & is regarded as very stressful. There were some studies done on this (especially in regard to flight attendants) in the 80s. Might be worthwhile looking at. But putting on a face for others is not being yourself, and so you can see how that gets stressful.

LegacyUser

Today wasn't so bad, but then again the sun was shining when I got up for work (I'm glad Joseph Brand understands that aspect:)

Thanks for all your suggestions. Sometimes I just tell myself not to be so silly and get on with it, but it doesnt seem so easy sometimes. It's like I can see myself sitting there, like I can observe myself, and I get lost in my own little planet.

I do walk everywhere, and my job demands some physical exertion, but I understand how different that exertion is to doing extra-curric exercise so to speak..I walk, swim sometimes but not as much, but then again the dark evenings put me off.

Interesting point about emotional labour..I come home and dont want to speak to anyone for an hour or so, depending on the day but then feel Im neglecting family etc

Had my thyroid checked cos a family member has probs there but was told they were fine..might head back and get hormones checked..thanks:)