So upset

UnregGirl

I guess this will seem quite trivial compared to some of the problems here, but tomorrow I undergo some surgery, and will be in hospital for 4 days, and tonight as I'm packing, and leaving things ready for my husband and son I just can't stop crying at the thought of leaving my little baby for that long. I know people should just tell me to cop on, but I've had such a rough few months, including falling out with my best friend, and my husband and my baby were my only constants. But they can't even come visit me, because my husband is sick, and my baby is too young.

I've only ever been apart from my son once, last time I was taken into hospital a few months ago. Now, he's 7 months, and he's not going to understand whats going on and where I've gone. Tonight I was rocking him to sleep and realised that even when I come out, I'm not going to be able to sit up and hold him for weeks.

Anyway I don't really know what I hope to gain by this. Just some kind words I guess..

seahorse

Ah, you poor thing! Operations are a big deal and it's natural to feel nervous about it and panicked and emotional about leaving your baby and husband also.

When you're home you'll be able to have your husband lay the baby beside you in the bed and give him/her a cuddle lying down till you're back in the best of health.

Don't be too hard on yourself; if I was off for an operation and a four day stay away from my baby I wouldn't be regarding that trivial. Just keep reminding yourself that it's for the longterm best; yes your family will have to do without you for a few days, but when it's all over and you're fully healed you'll be back in the fullness of your health and that's the best way for your husband and baby to have you.

Good luck with the operation.

star-pants

Hun - it's not trivial to you - it's very important.
I understand that you will be apprehensive of your surgery and it can be stressful for some people. And it's hard to know your husband and son can't be there until you get out. But hopefully other friends/family will be able to come in. You can talk to your husband (and even have the phone to your sons ear/speakerphone so that he can hear your voice too) so that you feel more connected with them. It's hard to leave your son so young for a few days, but you'll see his as soon as you get out.

I don't want to pry into what surgery you're getting - but if you can't sit up - hopefully you can have your son lying beside you in your bed. A friend of mine had an emergency C-section and then it got infected so she was so sore and hard to sit /stand up /bend over, combined with not being able to feed her daughter. It was pretty tough but she could have her in the bed beside her, lying down. You don't have to lose the contact, it will be a bit different as in maybe you won't be able for rocking him but you need to be careful so as you heal properly yourself after the surgery.

I wish you the best of luck in your surgery - I hope all goes well hun. And you take care of yourself - make sure to keep in touch with your husband/son over the phone if you can and they'll be delighted to have you home. Just picture that moment of happiness.

*hug*

UnregGirl

Thank you both so much. I swear, the kindness of strangers on this never ceases to amaze me. I'm off to get a good night's sleep

ahoney

The very best of luck to you for the operation, I know from ur other posts the things u have gone thru and how strong you became and how you turned things around for ur own and ur family benefit. You will do the same here, think of the op and the emotional discomfort of being away for 4 days as the short term pain to reach the long term gain of being well and with your hubby and baby. ur baby will be so happy to see you when you come home and it wont matter to ur hubby that you were gone for 4 days only that you had the op and are now on mend, it wont matter what you cant do but what you can , be close , love , show affection , sing, goo and gaa together, laugh, giggle and heal. will be wishing the very best for you in the next few days, take good care ahoney

DetectivFoxtrot

It's not trivial at all.

Good luck with the Op, you are very brave. Husband and son will be just fine and joyfully awaiting your return.

Lurvely

Best of luck for the op, hope all goes well. Hopefully the time will fly when your in the hospital. Hope you make a quick recovery too.

bronte

I hope it all goes well, op, I completely understand why you feel upset.
Don't worry, you'll be back with them soon.
I hope it all goes smoothly for you and you're home again soon!

Talliesin

Far from trivial. Don't think there's much anyone can say as far as practical advice goes, beyond make sure your husband gives you extra hugs

Best of luck with the op and hope you make a speedy and complete recovery and can be bouncing your son around soon.

Istrancis

Try not to be so down about it, because if you let it get in on you you'll only delay your recovery. You sound very close to your son, but maybe it would help if you think of this time as a couple of days for him to bond with your husband. They'll be fine together, and the three of you will be back at home before you know it!

Best of luck with your operation, I wish you a speedy recovery.

UnregGirl

Thanks so much everyone,
great advice there as always x

Marksie

Best of luck OP with the operation.
I hope it goes smoothly and you are back at home as son as possible.

I am sure that onece you are back home your husband will be there to make sure you can hold yur son as much as you want to.

All the best

mark

MLE

Hope everything goes well for you OP, hopefully you will have a really quick recovery and put this all behind you.

UnregGirl

So I'm home now at last, with husband and baby, where I belong, and I just wanted to say a big thank you for all the good wishes, which I re read constantly during the week for support. They gave me such a boost, and I also got lots of good wishes from other friends and some people I hardly even know, it's amazing how going through things in life like this makes you realise who really cares and who doesn't.

Anyway the op was a great success and the recovery isn't half as debilitating as before, so I'm back on my feet already, and I even got out to see all my friends yesterday which did me good! Just have to be careful not to overdo it!

Thanks again everybody x

star-pants

Hi UnregGirl,

I'm delighted to hear all went well and that your spirits were kept up
You mind yourself and take it easy and hope the rest of the recovery goes well!

xx

estar

its ok to cry and be upset, you dont always have to be strong.

after having a baby your emotional reactions to things do change
ive noticed my sisters crying over things that they never would
have before, and I can't understand as I dont have kids.

before you rationalise the emotion away, take the time to feel
it, its just an emotion, it will pass, but it serves a purpose to
release the tension and strain you feel, which will help you
relax before the surgery.

talking to somone like your husband and getting a supportive hug
will help also

Marksie

hey thats great news. I am so glad your recovery is going so well! and dont over do it

Good to hear and thanks for coming back to us..