Overprotective Parents

Cabbagepatch

I'm 20 years old, i'm almost half way through college and still living at home(simply due to circumstance and not by choice). I'm just so fed up of my parents and all their rules,i realize that as long as i live under their roof..i'm stuck with them.I can't afford to move out at the moment..as its tough to keep a job while in full-time education.Any pointers on how i'm to cope for the next while until i can get away from them?

af_thefragile

One day you'll realise its your parents that matter much more than all the friends (most of which are just name sake) you want to spend your life with.

One thing i learned from life is to never fully count on your friends and at the end of the day don't expect anything back from them. Its for your own good. But you can count of your parents. They have bought u up through your childhood and looked after you for all those years.

Though if you had a horrible and troubled childhood, its a slightly different story.

Anyway, to cope, just be a good son. Thats it.

Cabbagepatch

Cabbagepatch wrote: »

I'm 20 years old, i'm almost half way through college and still living at home(simply due to circumstance and not by choice). I'm just so fed up of my parents and all their rules,i realize that as long as i live under their roof..i'm stuck with them.I can't afford to move out at the moment..as its tough to keep a job while in full-time education.Any pointers on how i'm to cope for the next while until i can get away from them?

are they the kind you could sit down have a cup of tea with and discuss the situation? i am sure your parents do not want you to feel miserable at home, so a nice calm chat might be in order. a few compromises as well.

Sherifu

Lock yourself in your room.

Nightwish

I lived away from home during college but home every weekend. Lived at home for 18 months after I finished in college and it drove me mental. I was 23 and I was still rowing with them over things. Look, OP its something we all go through, and just know when you move out your relationship with your parents will improve drastically.

Overheal

You leave home looking for the freedom and then you move in with people. What soon occurs is a bit of anarchy when you realise that rules exist there too or else **** doesnt get done: dishes pile up, food rots and NOBODY vaccums. Then people start taking your cheese and coca-cola and all hell breaks loose.

Beleive it or not there can be much more stress involved in living out on your own and you may be better off to stick it.

jellie

Overheal wrote: »

You leave home looking for the freedom and then you move in with people. What soon occurs is a bit of anarchy when you realise that rules exist there too or else **** doesnt get done: dishes pile up, food rots and NOBODY vaccums. Then people start taking your cheese and coca-cola and all hell breaks loose.

Beleive it or not there can be much more stress involved in living out on your own and you may be better off to stick it.

or youre trying to study cause youre in the middle of exams but youre inconsiderate housemate is playing music loudly, having friends over, coming in at 4am the night before youre exam & shouting & screaming.. (that was a bad bad housemate..). at least at home you can tell them to shut the f*ck up and if your parents wil be considerate of exams & if anyone else is not theyll MAKE them be quiet..

sorry thats just 1 example. ill admit i LOVED living out of home, but just wanted to point out theres advantages and disadvantages of both.

Ickle Magoo

If you want your freedom, you have to work for it. If you want to live rent free & with no job, you have to put up with your parents rules. Seems to me like you just have to decide what matters most.

Could you cope with holding down a job & study if it meant moving out of your parents?
Can you cope with your parents during term time if you book a long holiday over the summer?
Is living at home bearable because you can study more & don't need to worry about bills or work & it is only for another couple of years?

Try to prioritise. I had to work & study, it was hard going. Understand that it's a short-term sacrifice for long-term gain & find ways to make it easier.

Das Kitty

I moved out in final year. I couldn't bear to be at home, my Mum was driving me nuts and my younger brother did all in his power to piss me off. That and I had gotten a taste of the sweet life on my work placement where I moved in with my fella.

So, knowing that I wasn't going to work for final year I decided to talk to my friendly bank manager. I sorted out a 9 month maintenance loan to cover my rent, food, bills etc. I got a Christmas job and another after the exams in the summer and paid it back. It was the best thing I ever did. Then again himself is a dream to live with!

aoife2k

Cabbagepatch wrote: »

I'm 20 years old, i'm almost half way through college and still living at home(simply due to circumstance and not by choice). I'm just so fed up of my parents and all their rules,i realize that as long as i live under their roof..i'm stuck with them.I can't afford to move out at the moment..as its tough to keep a job while in full-time education.Any pointers on how i'm to cope for the next while until i can get away from them?

I left college 2 years ago in the middle of my degree. I was absolutely dying to get home. Mum's cooking, my own bed, clean house etc etc...Most of the time we were fighting, arguing, i was stayin out all night etc etc, my bro lost his job so was at home all the time aswell and it got really really tense, horrible atmosphere etc. I've moved back down the country for college now and weekends i go home it's brilliant. We get on great now and it's because we're not under eachothers feet. We chat on the phone, she has a lovely dinner ready for me after travelling home on a friday, rings me to tell me the gossip from home and we have a laugh...

Is there any sort of a grant you could apply for? Go see the welfare officer in college or go to your local social welfare centre and they should be able to help you with something. You're not on your own, there are plenty people in your situation. For your sake and the sake of the relationship with your parents, you should get out, but don't rush it...do it right and it'll feel right.

Good Luck

af_thefragile

I rather like living at home.
I'm in medschool so i've got a lot to study and i've got little time to find a job cuz of my busy busy life. Living at home, there are a million things i don't need to bother bout. I don't need to bother about any bills, there's always food when i come home, i can do whatever i want in my house, i don't have any annoying roommates disturbing me and neither do i hafta put up with anyone's attitude. I've got my privacy in here and i've got more time.

I couldn't have even half these things if i was living by myself. I'ld hafta find time to work, then study, then i wouldn't have as much privacy with room mates bothering and disturbing you, i wouldn't hafta put up with any annoying room mates attitudes, my place would be clean all the time, i'ld have descent food cooked for me everyday, i wouldn't need to do all the washing, cleaning and dishes everyday myself.

Yeah, i'ld have more freedom that i could go out everynight with mates, have house parties and all that stuff. But as i'm not that big party guy, i don't really need all that stuff so i've got enough freedom at home, i don't need to leave home to find more freedom.

DenMan

Both of my parents are quite over-protective, especially my mother. She had a very strict upbringing herself and both her parents were devout Catholics. I grew up quite shy and to be honest insecure about myself, quite withdrawn actually. Now I am not like that as much. I am more like my father I think. I read a lot and love talking about politics, space, Native Americans etc. Music definitely changed me, going to gigs, meeting new people etc. I suppose the time they grew up in was far different to ours. They are grandparents now with my sister now having two babies. Their outlook has changed for the better.

RedXIV

Unfortunately, as my dad beat into me over the years, his house, his rules.

I had to move home for a month between college and getting a job and after living away for the previous years, it was hard. But as Overheal said, you realise that rules, while sometimes monotonus and mindnumbingly dull, do keep a house running. I always enjoy my visits home now with crisp clean bed sheets, f**King amazing mother's cooking and the odd beverage with the aul lad.

Sorry OP, i can't offer much advice bar enjoy the pro's while you have them

MJOR

Right... Every home has rules.... It's not the end of the world having tio stick it out for another year or two until you are in full time employment. I lived with my Dad til I was 25. I had to abide by his rules because naturally it was his house.

There is give and take in every situation. If you have a conversation with your parents about the parameters of theirs then there is no problem. At the end of the day they are adults and are probably finding it hard to see you as a grown up.

Be a grown up abide by the rules for another few years and then once you are in a position to move out do it!

marti101

Plus if you move out in to a nice flat THER WILL STILL BE RULES.Rules are everywhere for good reason either get a flat and work or stay where you are and enjoy the home comforts.Put it this way you might be making your parents miserable cause they thought they would be rid of you by now,im not being mean but look at it from ther point of view.Sit down and see if you can have some grounf rules that you all agree with and just see how it goes from there.They have to realise you are growing up and need privacy so go to them in a grown up fashion and have a chat.

Claire121

Can't you get a loan? That's what everyone does in the UK where the majority of people move away for college (myself included). I know there's no real student loans here but there are bank loans. Like other have said though, moving out is no piece of cake. Yeah you are more independent but that means paying all your bills on time, if something breaks you need to get it fixed, obviously doing all your own washing, cooking etc. I lived away all 4 years and every year there was always at least one person who was a nightmare to live with. People keeping you up all night, people stealing all your food, smoking in the communal areas etc. I admit I liked living away but if I'd had the option of staying at home and graduating debt free, I would have been very tempted. You can never have it all!

Victor

Please don't dig up old threads.