Quick One's

rocky25

Politically Correct Feminine Terminology

Have you ever wanted to talk about a girl but was afraid that you
would offend the person standing near you?...NOT. Well, if you are, then
here are some alternatives to some popular phrases.

I found them on a poster, but I don't remember which one.

She is not: An airhead
She is: Reality Impaired


She is not: A Bleached Blond
She is: Peroxide Dependant


She is not: A babe or chick
She is: A Breasted American


She does not have: Major league hooters
She is: Pectorally Superior


She does not have: A Great Tan
She is: Pigmentally Enhanced


You do not want to: Score or pick her up
You want to: Attempt a Horizontal Encounter


She is not: A perfect 10
She is: Numerically Superior


She does not have: A great butt
She has: A Superior Posterior


If she does not want to get: Married or hitched
She does not want: Domestic Incarceration


She is not: Half naked
She is: Wardrobe Impaired


She does not have: A perfect body
She is: Anatomically Gifted


She is not: Drunk or tipsy
She is: Chemically Inconvenienced


She is not: Small or short
She is: Vertically Challenged

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There's a man walking through the desert with only his camel, when suddenly he gets the urge to have sex.

Seeing that there's no one around, he tries to screw the camel, but it runs off.

He runs and catches up to it and the man and his camel keep treking through the desert, when all of a sudden he gets the urge again.

The man tries to have his way with the camel again, and once again it runs off.

He catches up again and they keep walking until they get to a road where he sees a car broken down.

The man goes up to the car and sees three of the most breath taking young women he's ever seen in his life, and asks if he can help.

The women say that if the man can fix their car that they'll do ANYTHING for him, so he takes a look at their car and gets it running.

Stunned, the young women ask what he would like them to do. To which the man replies, "Can you hold my camel?"
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Paddy was in New York .

He was patiently waiting and watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of traffic and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians." Then he'd allow the traffic to pass.

He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the sidewalk.

After the cop had shouted, "Pedestrians!" for the tenth time, Paddy went over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?"
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An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut .

The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car.

He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"

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Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

The man said, "I do, Father."

The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."

Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.

"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."

The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven? "

O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. ; ; I thought you were getting a group together to go right now."