At my witts end

LegacyUser

dont know where to start but am about to go out of my mind. ive been with my fella 4 years. most of that time things have been good but he suffers from depression and smokes "the smoke" so somethimes things are horrible. When he get depressed he can go for days with talking to me one syllable answers and just like he isnt there at all. he is in and out of work and for the past 4 years i have to pay most of the bills and day to day stuff as he just dose not have money and when he does its for smoke. These bouts of depression happen 3/4 times a year and can last for weeks. At the moment he is in the middle of one and since last friday he has been in that mood, we spent all weekend together and i felt as if i spent it alone. he sleeps beside me in the bed but wont touch me not a cuddle or a kiss nothing. now i know depression well i know when you have it youthink of noone but yourself and your problems but im at the end of my thether. Since i have been paying for everything and lending him money im in debt up to my eyeballs. He doesn't know and im sure he couldnt care less. last night i tried to get a cuddle after we ent to bed and he pushed me away as if i was the most disgusting thing ever and went as far over the other side of the bed as he could. then he says ill take you to work in the morning as if things were perfectly nomal. i cried my eyes out and think i got an hours sleep. i went to work the way i normally do and didnt wake him as thats all he seems to do now is sleep. for example saturday he got up at 10 went to bed at one in afternoon got up at 6 and bed at nine more or less the same sunday. I know its the depression that doing this but he wont take anything for it i have tried and tried an di know it will pass but then again i know its a matter of time before its back again and i hate feeling like some how this is my fault. he just sent me a text now as im typing saying sorry that he knows he is making me miserble but that he is "just fed up of life" what am i meant to say to that cause the moods he gets in i wouldnt be surprised one day to go home an find him gone and god knows what he would do. sorry i know noone can sort this out just needed to vent and get it out of my system i have told a friend about this kind of thing before but they dont understand i do love him even in the dark days i just wish i could help him not have them anymore

Irishcrx

Cannabis can be used as medication in some country's and states for depression however it can also makes thing's worst depending on the person, I know this from personal expierience perhaps he should try coming off it for a while say a month or two and see how he feels, it's not good when all his spare cash goes on it. Is he working at the minute?I find when I'm not working I can become very conplacent and unhappy in myself, maybe try talking to him about options he has and how this affects you.

humanji

He needs counselling. If he does nothing it's not going to. And it may not be what you want to hear, but if he refuses to get help, then you might consider just walking away from him. He's not doing you any good and to be honest, in a situation like yours, I can't see it ever getting better, only worse.

AnonoBoy

Mental Illness and cannabis can be a horrible horrible combination. I've seen friends hospitalised after too much and who won't touch it now. It just doesn't suit some people at all so it could be that smoking is contributing heavily to his depression.

He needs to talk to someone. This is the most important thing - you need to get him to admit that he needs help and that he and you cannot handle his illness alone.

LegacyUser

thanks for the replys but there is no way i could ever leave him love him to death breaks me in two to see him like this and i know he is the only one that can help himself

promethius

he is lucky to have someone who cares so much. i hope you make it through this.