Body Language/Mannerisms etc.

LegacyUser

Hey, I posted a query on here before, ended up getting great help on it so just wanted to follow it up a bit.

The last thread was here: http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055216372

So I have booked to go over and visit this girl, and as well as that, she's coming back here for a few days soon as well. We've been chatting a bit my email and instant messenger over the last couple of months, not a whole lot, but a bit, just chit chat. Though she did say in the last week how excited she was that I was coming over to see her.

I'm set on letting her know how I feel while I'm over visiting her if not when she's back here. However, being the eternal worrier, I wanted to try and put out some feelers to try and gauge if my feelings are gonna be returned. I wanted to know are there any signs/mannerisms/little clues that you think are important to watch out for that might show that there might be something there on her side? Also, any gestures etc. that you found good to show you're interested and maybe ease in to the process of making a move?

I know there's no magic solution or sure fire way to find out if this girl likes me back except by asking her/telling her, but I'd just appreciate any little help I can get! Thanks!

Weidii

Don't think too hard about it, just meet her and I'm sure you'll be able to naturally tell. I think you should go for it and tell her how you feel anyway, what have you got to lose?

Marksie

You really dont know how she is going to react. Though the I am excited comment is encouraging.

Perhaps the best things to say, is not to worry about how she acts but to think about how you are going to act.

What you ahve here is a little different from a date. So the regular stuff may not apply.

But OK in theory here are a few. Body posture..is she turned towards you. Eye contact, and the dilation of the pupils. Is she, touching you lightly. does she mirror behaviour i.e drinks when you drink etc.
Ahh but that is all really juts signs and a lot of it is subliminal.

Its more impoartant you act and be yourself around her, dont look for clues and tips from her behaviour just be open in your own. (though i find that eye contact really helps)

Occasionally you will know within seconds. It could be a smile a look, or a fire up the spine when you get the eye contact.
It doesnt happen immediately, though it can (and when it does it is powerful and an incredible sign lol).

Her behaviour will be to an extent a reflection of yours. You come into this nervous or tense or looking fro somethijng then it will go across and she will get the same way. If you are looking at every gesture then it may seem like scrutiny.
So go in relaxed and open, juts get to know her. Allow the natural closeness to develop. By all means if you are walking somewhere say from gig to pub or somesuch. Take her hand and dont be afraid to.

john_aero

cant add much to what they have already said, just not to rush it or force it coz you may feel one way.

other than that just tell us how it goes and very best of luck

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the feedback, some great advice there. I'm gonna take on board what you all said and I'll let ya know how I get on!

promethius

be yourself and it will work out if it's meant to

Sherifu

Unusualcomment wrote: »

I know there's no magic solution or sure fire way to find out if this girl likes me back except by asking her/telling her, but I'd just appreciate any little help I can get! Thanks!

Indeed there isn't, if you get on well with her, enjoy spending time with her and she the same then why not give it a shot? I know it's not that easy to even tell these things sometimes, just forget about watching her every move and be yourself.

d_regal_jester

You need to get rid of that inner WUSS or she will be getting the first plane home. Nice guys finish second all the time....be the nice guy but dont be so keen.

Repeat after me....."I must not and will not be a wussbag"

Your the prize......tease her and take the piss a bit.....works wonders....

d_regal_jester

Dont tell her anything......

Why bother...... She's coming to visit aint she.....that should be enough. just make sure you do enough to make her come back again. Resist the temptation at all costs to say anything Wuss-bag-ish to her and she will come running

Marksie

OP: i would advise aginst listening to D_regal_jester.

Not unless you want to fail completely

celestial

Marksie wrote: »

OP: i would advise aginst listening to D_regal_jester.

Not unless you want to fail completely

And I would advise against listening to Marksie and taking a leaf out of the d_regal_jester's book. Men need to be less like women and more like men these days, to state it mildly. OP, 'my mother would love me to marry you' may well equal 'you're such a lovely friend' in this context.

Don't be a nicey nice guy girl-friend, be cheeky, be confident, tease and bust on her, make fun of her in a good way, act like you want to get physical not ask about her day and her feelings....

Oh...and ask yourself do you really want to tell her how you feel - if you want my honest opinion telling her how you feel or asking her how she feels about you is going to be the kiss of death for you, and is going to piss you off, cos from what I can see from your post this girl just sees you as her special nice friend who her mother would love....any girl who tells a guy 'how special he is to her', almost certainly sees him as a nice friend and nothing more.

If you want my advice, be and do what I said above and test the waters gently...see how she reacts to your teasing, cockiness - you will know and she will let you know if she wants something to happen - but my guess is that she just sees you as a friend dude and you are gonna cause yourself pain if you pour your heart out or anything - girls don't like that, unless they feel the same (in which case something will, most likely, already have happened between you)

d_regal_jester

So when does she get here....has she any sisters

Marksie

d_regal_jester: less of the off topic posting please

LegacyUser

Thanks for the comment celestial, it's good to get the different point of view.

Don't be a nicey nice guy girl-friend, be cheeky, be confident, tease and bust on her, make fun of her in a good way, act like you want to get physical not ask about her day and her feelings....

I have to say, when I first met this girl, I think I was more like you describe: cheeky, a bit of good natured teasing etc. I guess over the last couple of years, I've gotten a bit more boring I guess and been the nice guy more and more. Also, as I wasn't in contact with her as much, I didn't want to be too cheeky in case I was stepping over a line. I tend to get a bit more fun/cocky with a couple of drinks inside me (I'm not a big drinker, usually don't go very far beyond 3/4), so I could always use that to my advantage!