Size difference

downandconfused

this is my first time posting, im sorry if its off topic or wrong forum, please delete if necessary.
im 25 and iv heard it all before about size doesnt matter etc but i think my penis is well below average and then it does matter, when im in the toilet in a pub/club i often have a quick look beside me, prob because im so concious about it and 99% of the time what i see is almost double mine....when im in the "mood" it grows alright but still only about 5.5"
so when i see others in the toilets are already almost twice what i have then surely they must be bigger.
i know this is stupid of me but its got to the stage where i worry about it so much that im crap in bed. the last 2 girls ii was with...lets just say things didnt last too long, embaressingly quick...and i think its because im so concious of this size thing...its a vicious circle cause i keep thinkin about it then when im in bed witjh someone it affects me to an embaressing result which affects me bad too.
maybe you'l all laugh and tell me im being stupid but im afriad to get with a girl now just to avoid what i know is going to happen..
please set me right or just be honest....
thanks

Overheal

Have you discussed this with the girls?

5.5" is ~average.

I've been in conversations where girls talk about their ex's being much, much smaller. Hilarity ensues, usually from their difficulty to perform simple 'tasks'.

Sherifu

downandconfused wrote: »

when im in the toilet in a pub/club i often have a quick look beside me, prob because im so concious about it

That's your problem right there. If the girls don't complain it's all good.

Placebo

downandconfused wrote: »

i often have a quick look beside me, prob because im so concious about it

its people like u that make my pissing adventure uncomfortable!

downandconfused

i havnt discussed this with girls, id be too embaressed.

sherifu: they dont complain but i know from their reaction that its nothing to write home about...its such a man thing but it affects me so much.

i know this is stupid too but in colleg and stuff when i'd be at friends houses or whatever after nights out there was always a bit of "sound" from the girls.....i can never do that...
it just gettin me down lately more than ever

Chinafoot

downandconfused wrote: »

i havnt discussed this with girls, id be too embaressed.

sherifu: they dont complain but i know from their reaction that its nothing to write home about...its such a man thing but it affects me so much.

i know this is stupid too but in colleg and stuff when i'd be at friends houses or whatever after nights out there was always a bit of "sound" from the girls.....i can never do that...
it just gettin me down lately more than ever

Without wanting to sound clichéd, it really is what you do with it that counts. If you're paranoid and embarassed then of course the sex will be bad, regardless of the size of your mickey.

You can achieve the "sound" without ever get as far as taking off your undies. You need to relax and be more confident.

Foreplay is your friend

seahorse

Chinafoot wrote: »

If you're paranoid and embarassed then of course the sex will be bad, regardless of the size of your mickey.

+ 1

Sherifu

downandconfused wrote: »

sherifu: they dont complain but i know from their reaction that its nothing to write home about...its such a man thing but it affects me so much.

It's in your head man! Like Chinafoot said tbh You just need confidence.

downandconfused

Sherifu wrote: »

It's in your head man! Like Chinafoot said tbh You just need confidence.

i know i need confidence but im stuck in such a rut now i dont know how to get out of it....god i really really want to get out of it but i just dont see how and to be honest dont see an end to this lack of confidence

Harpy

downandconfused wrote: »

about it and 99% of the time what i see is almost double mine....when im in the "mood" it grows alright but still only about 5.5"
so when i see others in the toilets are already almost twice what i have then surely they must be bigger.

5.5" is average... ever hear the saying it's a grower not a shower

Marksie

Chinafoot wrote: »

.

Foreplay is your friend

Yes it is . If you make the foreplay everything you can have the woman completely lost in things before you even think about anything else.

5-6 inches is average

What shouldnt be average is the way you approach lovemaking and what you do with it when it gets to you using it.

Umm sound?
Well if you are aware that they arent making sound.. maybe they are the quiet type.... maybe

Its always difficult to guage what one should be doing when there is a wall separating you from what two others are doing that is producing these sounds.

Unless of course you are extremely fortunate and its all occuring in the same room.

But of course are you aware of what they are doing, the way they are moving? are you asking them? and if you are are you getting a reply? is she present with you, or in her head? If she is present and you with her, then you should be tuned to each other.

If you are worried about your technique, then think what you are doing, are you varying speed and depth angle, position. Or juts doin the same old thing in the same old way.

But one point ..when you DO get a reaction, THAT is the time to do the same thing in the same way.

If it hits the spot, then dont move it away from the spot.

Overheal

Placebo wrote: »

its people like u that make my pissing adventure uncomfortable!

+1 :mad:

stop looking and then we can solve two problems :rolleyes:

estar

its how hard you bang the nail.

ve

Listen at one stage or another in every young man's life, he will be concerned over whether or not he is "big enough". The length of time you spend with this concern is the only "length" you need to be worried about and that's the real truth. It usually starts with teenage girls who are typically inexperienced themselves and insecure having something to joke and giggle about with their friends. This then gets passed on to us being uber compeditive as teenage boys, as something we need to keep in mind for when we do become sexually active. Then it simply depends on the maturity of your partner beyond that point.

There are only a very small number of us that will perhaps need medical advice on the matter and I assure you @ 5.5", you're not in that category. I'm also sure you'll find that the majority of sexually active women are well wise to true state of the nation, and want someone who can give them pleasure, regardless of size.

This is something I think, being male, becomes less and less of an issue as you get older. It's a state of mind, not a physical problem. So listen chin up, be confident, you have nothing to be worrying about

great unwashed

downandconfused wrote: »

there was always a bit of "sound" from the girls.....i can never do that...
it just gettin me down lately more than ever

You're concentrating on the wrong muscle (in which dept. you're part of a very large crowd by the way); the one that makes the girls go weak at the knees is the muscle in your mouth!!

Learn how to pleasure her orally - it can be very satisfying for everyone.

WildIrishRose

Its all about finding a partner that your comfortable with and then it shouldnt be as big a deal as you feel it is,
Good Luck!

Lux23

Its more girth that interests me then length so you may measure up bigger that way. I won't lie and say that size doesn't matter but 5.5 inches is quite normal.

Marksie

Lux23 wrote: »

Its more girth that interests me then length so you may measure up bigger that way. I won't lie and say that size doesn't matter but 5.5 inches is quite normal.

Well if you know your Kama sutra it depend on whether you are a female deer, a mare, or a female elephant and if your bfriend is the hare man, the bull man, or the horse man

http://www.spaceandmotion.com/kama-sutra-partners.htm

Talliesin

downandconfused wrote: »

when im in the toilet in a pub/club i often have a quick look beside me, prob because im so concious about it and 99% of the time what i see is almost double mine.

Can you not see how this survey would have a strong selection bias?

You're having a quick glance around and sometimes you are going to see something and sometimes you aren't.

If someone has a very small flaccid size, then your chances of seeing it are clearly much lower than if it's so large airport security keep thinking he's got a police baton hidden in his trousers.

So really, you've hit upon a way of judging the range of flaccid penis sizes of men with large flaccid penises.

Hopefully, I don't have to point out that this isn't the only reason why checking out other men's penises is a bad idea. If nothing else, it's generally not considered polite.

downandconfused wrote: »

...when im in the "mood" it grows alright but still only about 5.5"

So, well within the normative range then (surveys have varied in what they found to be the average, but they're all around that mark).

downandconfused wrote: »

so when i see others in the toilets are already almost twice what i have then surely they must be bigger.

There is considerably more variation in flaccid size than erect size. In general men with smaller flaccid penises grow more on erection than men with large flaccid penises, so while some of us have a head start and some of us don't we more or less reach a similar finishing point.

This is were the expression "shower or grower" comes from.

Sure, there are men that are big both ways or small both ways, but what do you care? You're average. I'd be more worried about the fact that you managed to go through school without acquiring a basic understanding of human biology.

downandconfused wrote: »

i know this is stupid of me but its got to the stage where i worry about it so much that im crap in bed.

If you're worried about your penis when you're having sex, then don't use it much. You only need it for a minute fraction of the ways you can have sex anyway.

Now, I'm quite large but really there are only two advantages this has given me:

• There's an aesthetic advantage - but really this is like whether your lips or your eyes or your hair is good-looking, and as such it's not the biggest advantage since as a rule lovers haven't seen my penis until they've already found one of the above attractive (probably not my hair, I have crap hair).
• Having a large penis helps you cop on to just how unimportant it is.

Some of the best sex I've had I never even got it out.

downandconfused wrote: »

lets just say things didnt last too long, embaressingly quick.

You were struck with paralysis? You fell asleep? That's the only two things that can rule out every single way of having sex (well, dying would too, but you wouldn't be posting here if that had happened).

Why do people keep acting as if some sort of sexual secret police will kick your door down and drag you off if you keep having sex after penetration has come to an end. You're allowed to keep having sex afterwards. It's not against the law, and you may well find that you're in the mood up for some putting some penetration back into the mix again (and maybe again and again) before the session is over.

Marksie wrote: »

Well if you know your Kama sutra it depend on whether you are a female deer, a mare, or a female elephant and if your bfriend is the hare man, the bull man, or the horse man

For once we're going to disagree on this sort of topic.

I think the size-correlation thing in the Kama Sutra (and in the Perfumed Garden and other similar pre-modern texts on sexual technique) is vastly overstated. What they say about different positions and techniques being of advantage or disadvantage to different pairings is well-worth reading (though it can be worth trying some in cases where the texts say you shouldn't), but as dogma they fail in the way that dogma often does.

I think this is especially true in cases where one is primarily interested in what it advises for the practical effect upon sex rather than for the effect of sex upon exploring a tantra or another way of using sexual energy in magic or religion.

For most people, the animal analogies are more likely to lead to artificial worries than understanding, unless they are already coming to them from a position of studying such texts for reasons other than just sexual technique.

allabouteve

OP I wouldn't worry too much as 5.5 seems perfectly average. Don't find yourself in a vicious circle of worry and performance anxiety leading to more worry etc. Don't forget that old saying ' its not the size of the wand, but the magic it wields' - it really is what you do with it that counts, and yes, as stated before, foreplay is your friend. And hers.

minidazzler

most lads find it very hard to bring a girl to orgasm through use of their penis.

Use your tounge, fingers, foreign objects and bring a girl to orgasm before you get yours. There are many ways to play at it just use your imagination. and stop watching so much pron. It gives you falsse realisations of sex. You are not very likely to come across a black guy with a 14 inch donger (I did once saw it in the gym by accident but that doesnt count)

Dude just relax and enjoy sex for what it is. Dont try to hard (forgive the pun) and enjoy it.

Use everything to an advantage and learn your body.

simple as.

LegacyUser

OP,

I grew up in my teens thinking the same thing, it was too small, girls wont like it, I'll be crap, I wont last long (ok, sometimes that happens to everyone!) etc... Even when older I still thought it to a point where girls might have been "faking" etc.. As I've gotten older, I've realised that anybody I have been with either must have had crap lovers before, with the "stick it in really hard and fast and they'll love it!" attitude or maybe mine isn't all that bad!! Granted, every now and again there is a bit of "stick it in really hard and fast and they'll love it!" to mix things up a little to keep the stimulation changing and not get stagnant.

Every girl is different too, some girls will find it easy to climax from penetration alone, others won't. Without bragging, one girl I know flipped the coin on me, in the sense that she thought I was so good that she climaxed very fast, before I'd even thought I'd got started. I've learned that this is just the way she is, as I'm not doing anything different than I have in the past and nobody has commented on my performance as much as she has (sadly!).

Now I don't have a measuring tape handy, but at best guess I'd say I'd be 5.5" to 6" downstairs (women are only a certain size "in there" as well remember...so anything extra is going to waste I say!). Don't mind what you've seen in porno's on the net (if any). Most dude are just like you.

I say mix it up a little. Anticipation is the greatest weapon in your arsenal. slowly slowly, bit of quick, roundy roundy, insy outy, back to slowly slowly, pause....you get what I mean! See what seems to be floating their boat and work around it. The pause is great if you feel your not going to last the distance, coupled with a tight clench passionate smooch or to change from something other than penetration for a short while, to give you time to get it together again.

Get your head around to the way of thinking that it's all about them having their fun first and concentrate on that more than thinking about how good it is for you (c'mon lets face it, us lads enjoy it no matter what).

LegacyUser

It's really not about size, the most pleasurable part of sex for me with my bf comes from foreplay, his fingers can bring me to orgasm much quicker than penetration, play around with the girl when you are together, don't think about "the finishing line", its all about the lead up!!! Also, it is much easier for "sounds" to happen (i assume you mean orgasm noises) via clitoral stimulation as opposed to penetration, so don't worry, your fingers and tongue (not justyour penis) are your friends!!! Good luck and don't expect miracles first time round, or second time, or third even...play around, practice different things, maybe look up the location of the clitoris, and eventually you will hit the jackpot!!! So worth it