Rejected - What now?

LegacyUser

Condensed version: College student, had feelings for a friend for a long time and decided to tell her how I felt (misread signals blah blah blah).
Got the exact opposite reaction to what I wanted but a little bit along the lines of what I expected.
Trouble is that she's in every one of my classes and we even socialise with the same group of people. So not only do I have to be ok with spending a lot of time with her in the immediate aftermath of all this, I have to find a way to get over her (or the lack thereof) very quickly.
Anyone got any advice?

Victor

Don't get drunk in her presence and tell her "I love you - but not in a bad way".

You need to move on, finding someome else is probably a good way to do this. But once you haven't made a fool of yourself, there is no need to avoid her either.

Teddi

oooh, thats a toughey one mate...

what I'd suggest is start focusing your attention on someone else, try finding someone else that might interest you. You never know, this sort of a stratedgy may make her jealous (this type of situation is widely known).This might work in your favour as a nice side effect, but dont do it with the intention of playing mind games to get her.

Currently there is nothing that you can do about her but get on with things and flirt/get to know other girls, not neccessarily in your class but some that you hang around with?

bring out the stud in you, you'll need it.

Hope it works out.

Teddi

Overheal

Don't overthink it? These things have a way of working themselves out naturally. She'll understand if you avoid speaking with her for a while, but then theres also a good chance she isn't going to hold it against you in which case you are worrying over nothing. If further down the road you still have unrequited feelings for her then you need to take affirmative action and distance yourself from the situation entirely.

Wibbs

Chalk it up to experience. This stuff passes over, but there are things you can do to minimise the fallout. Be polite around her. Do not get into long "emotional" talks with her. Don't be her "friend". Get out more socially and keep your eyes open for others. In future don't try to be friends first. Rarely works.

Lorrs33

Overheal wrote: »

Don't overthink it? These things have a way of working themselves out naturally. She'll understand if you avoid speaking with her for a while, but then theres also a good chance she isn't going to hold it against you in which case you are worrying over nothing. If further down the road you still have unrequited feelings for her then you need to take affirmative action and distance yourself from the situation entirely.

I agree. I was in your situation and I became so paranoid around the guy I asked out. For me, once the guy knew I was interested in somebody else, things pretty much went back to normal.

Overheal

Wibbs wrote: »

In future don't try to be friends first. Rarely works.

And friends after does? :rolleyes:

Wibbs

Overheal wrote: »

And friends after does? :rolleyes:

Actually rarely enough. Personally I won't accept the downgrade from lovers to friends. Not in the short term, that's for sure.

Be friendly with her, but not a substitute girlfriend. Kiss of death.