Work Dilemma

LegacyUser

I've been working for a company for the past 8 months and have a slight dilemma.I spilt up with someone over christmas,we'd been together for a year on and off.But things weren't working out so i ended it.I'm happy being single and taking time for myself.Basically there is a guy who works in a different dept to me,although we do interact regularly during the day over work stuff.I heard through the grapevine that he was engaged this time last year but has been single since circa Aug 07.I have a crush on him and it's starting to distract me at work at times.

He's quite aloof in general,he teases me at times and the few times we've been alone for a few mins he asked where i was living,did i have any nicknames,what i'm up to at the weekend etc.We send each other the odd short email and at times it seems he's flirting with me.I don't want to make a move to ask him for a drink for fear i'm imagining it and don't want an uncomfortable atmosphere,can't ask anyone in his dept in case word gets back to him and again leads to an uncomfortable situation.So what do you people out there reckon-say nothing and forget about it or bite the bullet and ask him out for a drink?

seamus

What2do? wrote: »

He's quite aloof in general,he teases me at times and the few times we've been alone for a few mins he asked where i was living,did i have any nicknames,what i'm up to at the weekend etc.We send each other the odd short email and at times it seems he's flirting with me.

Has he always been like this, or has it been moreso since he became single?

All in all, it would seem that he gets on with you and likes you at the very least, so there wouldn't be any harm in asking him out for lunch one day or a drink after work. That would give you a chance to see him without the work environment around and should give you a good indicator of what he's thinking. Provided that it's nothing formal, i.e. not an official "date", if it turns out to be a non-starter it shouldn't make things awkward in work.

LegacyUser

We didn't really start to say hello to each other until Sept of last year,like i said he seems aloof and calm at times,Think thats just his personality.I found out he was no longer engaged around new year so i have no idea if that has made a difference in his behaviour.I guess i just don't want to make an idiot of myself by thinking there's chemistry where there isn't if you get me?Theres no way to ask him for a drink/lunch without it seeming like a date afaik,he tends to go for lunch with some of his mates in work and doesn't seem to head out drinking with the work crowd much. I tend to be slightly nervous around him but try not to let it show.Sorry my head is a bit melted when i think about it.

jdivision

He's been single since August, showed interest in you the following month. Yeah I think he likes you a bit at least. Next time he asks what you're doing for the weekend say something like you had been thinking of going to see a certain film (not a chick flick) but nobody was around. See whether he takes the opportunity to say he'd go with you.