The Brother smashey wake thread

Zaph

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to remember the Brother that was smashey. A veritable giant of a man, and a giant of a Brother also. A Brother of quick wit and a jocular nature, his posts never failed to entertain. He was usually to be found propping up the bar in Yore Ma's, ready to offer a drink and a joke to anyone who passed his way.

Alas, Brother smashey is no longer with us having been lured to The Dark Side, but we will cherish the memories we have of him and hope that one day he will find himself in a better place.

Please feel free to add to this thread your fondest memories of the Brother, so that we can remember him as he was. His likes will not be seen around here again for a very long time.

_blank_

Alas Brother Zaff, I fear he hasn't gone to a better place at all.

And to think, he chose this path himself. He was such a promising Brother, even taking the mantle of organising a Beers. It will probably be a "Milks" or a "Juices" or worst of all a "Dietary Supplements Outing" now.

Aye, the times were indeed good, but looking back now, I can see that he always had that streak in him, and that has left a bitter, bitter taste. How could I have been so foolish as to be taken in by his faux-lazy-bastard ways? I feel such an amadán, truth be told.

Those Private Messages he was sending, trying to lure us to a gym, or some other church of darkness, with the promises of beer and sexeh wimmins. I believed him. I'm not ashamed to say that, I know other Brothers were taken in too.

I have heard the myths of this universe of Treadmills, Tennis Shoes, Sweatbands, Lycra Shorts, Sit-Ups, Bench Presses and so on. I didn't believe such a horrid place could exist.

How wrong I was.

:(:(:(:(:(:(

Zaph

Fret not, Brother Des, there have always been false prophets ready to lure unsuspecting souls into dens of iniquity. Do not be too harsh on yourself, we all have weak moments from time to time, it's just upsetting to be taken advantage of in such a moment of weakness by a fellow Brother.

trout

Ah yes ... the bould smashey ... well I remember those halcyon days when he spiked my morning coffee with his rowdy whiskey. And the times when he threatened to sit on my face, all 8 foot 6 of him. Who can forget the time he mistook me for a bouncer :rolleyes:

For me, my defining moment with Brother smashey was the day he kicked me in the bollox and said that props have no feeling from the knees up.

Great days. Great days indeed. :cool:

dr.bollocko

Whats this? WHAT HAPPENED? Is he on the dry? Gymmin with the wimmin? Acheter un billet pour le metro?
We are dropping like flies.
He may be my brother, but I'm pretty sure he is still heavy.
Or is he no longer a brother?
UUUrgh

trout

* passes round a tray of kebabs *

Lads ... it's a small solace ... but kebabs have always helped me through times of woe, and sorrow, and indeed happiness :rolleyes:

Take two ... it's what he would have wanted

Gymmin with the wimmin indeed ... when "the crunch" is some kind of fitness thing, and not the sound of a krispy kreme donut, when grown men wear lycra shorts in public and shave their legs and what-not, when a Brother can sign up for spinning classes and take introductory yoga lessons ... these are signs of the Apocalypse ... 'tis the only explanation.

*sniff sniff*

Anyone else gettin' the whiff of lavender ?

dr.bollocko

This world wasnt built for the likes of us brother Trout. Everything has gone to ****. It's all doom and gloom. The only worthwhile invention in the last twenty years is this forum huge off licences and crotchless panties.

trout

... don't forget internet pr0n, Sky+, the widespread availability of fast food delivery services, and The Monster ThickBurger :rolleyes:

*choke* smashey used to love the aul' ThickBurgers *sniff sniff*

There really is a shockin' honk of lavender around here.

dr.bollocko

Back in the day a magazine would do you. This internet pr0n is dangerous stuff. More than one bloke, animals, horrible things going on, no decent porno music. and a VCR kicks sky+'s ass. and there would be no need for fast food delivery as it would have arrived quicker from the bird in the kitchen than some metro uni student with pimples and a tool tee shirt can cycle it to you.
And as for the Munster Burger, I defer to you my good sir.

EDIT: Maybe its this celtic tiger thing? You know? Men got money and started to spend it in Jack n Jones and on alcopops, and councillors and hair products.
My brain is overloading. I am about to have a revelation. I need some craptime to think about this more....
Maybe.... money... makes.... people.... gay?

dfx-

Hagar

I can only cling to the slim hope that somebody somewhere will find Brother Maddie and bring him back to us.

The Hill Billy

Hagar wrote: »

the slim hope

There'll be no mention of "slim hope" here Brother Hagar. Only "big fat beer-sodden hope".

Hagar

I stand sit lie down admonished.

justsomebloke

Ah someone who posts on the fitness forum every so often I rejoice at the prostect of another fat bastard psoting as well. We can still show these skinny feckers the error of their ways

smashey

Don1 wrote: »

Fitness eh, hmmmm, somebody with superior modding ability needs to change the board title to "Fatness".

All part of my masterplan and my world domination.

Don1

Fitness eh, hmmmm, somebody with superior modding ability needs to change the board title to "Fatness".

AckwelFoley

huh?

Whts this abooot?

LostinBlanch

There used to be Brother called Smashey, big of stature but small of heart.

The brothers here had great hopes for him. He has now pimped himself out to the fitness forum. LIttle realising that he has sold his soul for a skinny latte and de alcholised beer (I know there is no such thing brothers, but some deluded souls believe that it exists). He is now dead to the forum, though his ghost is still seen here from time to time. If you listen carefully in quiet moments in youre ma's you can hear his plaintive cries echoing off the walls. A sad, lonely sound, sadder and lonlier than the sound of the last barrel running dry [wipes tear from his eye]

Here have a double decker rasher sambo and then head over to the bar where we'll have a pint in his memory. [Chomp]


[sigh]

If only there was some way he could come back from the dead

AckwelFoley

Next BGRH should be fun if he turns up with his 6 pack and a bottle Miller Lite

Dragan

Don't blame Smashey because he accepted an offer of power and guidance on the path of living for a LONG time in while still pounding on beers , burgers and bitches.

We'll be paying you guys tribute when your being put in the ground and still going strong 30 years later with more in the tank.

Dragan
- A Big Fat Fitness Hybrid