Is this the worst grammar that you've ever seen in an article?

Stargal

I'm pedantic when it comes to grammar but also aware that it can be difficult to check every single thing when you're trying to write under pressure. However this article, which was up on breakingnews.ie yesterday is jaw-droppingly bad.

It's about the young Irish man who got a jail sentence in Maine for a bank robbery. Quite simply, it's one of the worst constructed sentences I've ever seen in my life and it makes the entire piece look amateurish and well, dumb. I've noticed mistakes on the site before, but never anything as bad as this. Are there no checks carried out before something is posted?

The offending paragraph is below.

From http://breakingnews.ie/ireland/mheysngbgbmh/:

That he robbed a bank in Maine was learned by his family almost by accident 16 months ago, and they have been in regular contact with him since he was remanded in custody pending his court hearing today.

flogen

Hmmm.. clearly his family must learn really good.

javaboy

Stargal wrote: »

I'm pedantic when it comes to grammar but also aware that it can be difficult to check every single thing when you're trying to write under pressure. However this article, which was up on breakingnews.ie yesterday is jaw-droppingly bad.

It's about the young Irish man who got a jail sentence in Maine for a bank robbery. Quite simply, it's one of the worst constructed sentences I've ever seen in my life and it makes the entire piece look amateurish and well, dumb. I've noticed mistakes on the site before, but never anything as bad as this. Are there no checks carried out before something is posted?

The offending paragraph is below.

From http://breakingnews.ie/ireland/mheysngbgbmh/:

Looks like an effort from the Yoda school of journalism I think. "That he robbed a bank, they learned."

I think this might be the first post I've seen on boards complaining about grammar that didn't spell grammar incorrectly. Kelsey Grammer is a TV personality people!

Thomas_S_Hunterson

I don't think it's technically incorrect however.

Cumbersome, yes, but as far as grammar goes, I think it's allowed.

Stargal

Sean_K wrote: »

I don't think it's technically incorrect however.

Cumbersome, yes, but as far as grammar goes, I think it's allowed.

Yeah that sentence structure can be used, even though it is awkward to read, but I think that the use of the verb 'to learn' is incorrect. I'll have to double-check my ol' Essential English for Journalists here but a correct version could be something like: 'That he robbed a bank in Maine was learnt by his family accidentally 16 months ago. They have been in regular contact with him...'.

Hmm that still looks a bit odd. Whether it's correct or not, it's still very cumbersome, as you say. Terrible, terrible sentence.

Oh and the family can't have found out 'almost accidentally'. It was either accidental or not.

flogen

Would 'learnt of' not be more applicable.

At worst you'd think they would have said 'learned about by...', even though that is far from perfect (and possibly still incorrect).

Stargal

Yeah I think you're right flogen; 'learnt of' probably would be better. At the end of the day though it's still just tarting up an old whore - it's never going to be a good sentence no matter how accurate we make it.

DublinWriter

Stargal wrote: »

The offending paragraph is

The Golden Rule is that you never start a sentence with a preposition.

But sometimes I disagree!

In this case, however, the article runs off a cliff on the last paragraph. It's almost as though two people wrote it. It sounds lumpen and amateurish.

Does that site employ a sub-editor? I doubt it.

There are many rules to English grammar, some extremely arcane and obscure. If you're well-read and have a good ear you instinctively know if something sounds wrong.

For example 'To boldly go where no man has gone before' is a classic example of a split-infinitive, but the phrase scans well because it's not being used in a sentence context.

FlutterinBantam

Stargal wrote: »

I'm pedantic when it comes to grammar but also aware that it can be difficult to check every single thing when you're trying to write under pressure.
It's about the young Irish man who got a jail sentence in Maine for a bank robbery. Quite simply, it's one of the worst constructed sentences I've ever seen in my life and it makes the entire piece look amateurish and well, dumb. I've noticed mistakes on the site before, but never anything as bad as this. Are there no checks carried out before something is posted?

The offending paragraph is below.

From http://breakingnews.ie/ireland/mheysngbgbmh/:

I wouldn't award too many marks for that particular construction either OP;)


"most badly" that's the one you wanted innit???

Stargal

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

I wouldn't award too many marks for that particular construction either OP;)


"most badly" that's the one you wanted innit???

I knew when I started this thread that I'd be opening myself up to nit-picking over every poorly-constructed sentence I've ever written on boards
(Although in my defence, I think if there had been a hyphen linking 'worst' and 'constructed' it could have been accurate...).

FlutterinBantam

No it wouldn't ...just use an adverb...you know"How things are done the adverbs tell,as "slowly "quickly" idly" "well"

Thats what they are there for.

'Worst constructed'..... jeeez.. really grates my gears.

Slice

I suppose the difference is that this thread is on a discussion forum while the article is on a news site.

I think the use of the word learned was a bad choice altogether. What's wrong with became aware of

I also don't understand the opening sentence;

An Irish national has been sentenced to nine years in jail for armed robbery in the state of Maine three years ago.

From the reader's point of view you immediately wonder what a three year old story is doing on a breaking news site.

Perhaps it was a transition year student on a work placement...

Dublin's Finest

The syntax there is awful. Aside from that, it's in the passive form which tends to weaken an intro.