Any Advice

Jumbo156

Hi
Any advice appreciated.

Have to meet my new team in work next week, ( company takeover)
There will be 25 of us at the meeting and we all have to stand up and talk about ourselves for 5 minutes.

To say I am nervous is an under statement.

I have stammered all my life, not with Friends or family, not so much on the phone, but standing up in front of groups is nigh on impossible for me.

The amount of times I have refused to give presentations etc is too many to count, and I think it has held me back in my job if am to be honest.

I stammer quite alot with drink on me as well, which amazes me as aren't you supposed to be relaxed with drink?

It used to be that I stammered all the time but since I have left school ( 20 years ago) it has gradually got better.

What is the best way to approach next week....
Thanks in advance

Xhristy

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sadie9

Would it be an option to say that you have a stammer and make some sort of joke about it like 'and that's easy for me to say', and then say 'I try not to let it hold me back' (even if you feel it does). Wouldn't that make you feel like you had taken some control, rather than spend the time worrying that you absolutely must not stammer. If you did make a clean breast of it and mention the stammer in front of the new team, you'd clear the way for yourself to stammer if you have to while telling them about yourself. Also be aware that the other 25 people are s****ing themselves also about having to stand up and talk about themselves even if they don't have a stammer. At least you have a rational reason to be nervous!

sadie9

Having said the above, I am also of the opinion that people should do what they need to do to manage their situation, if the alternative is deemed unbearable or more psychologically damaging. Therefore, you could ring in sick that day and avoid the situation - however, having to go to such lengths should serve as a red flag to you that this is an issue that really needs tackling. So such avoidances should be 'paid for' by taking positive action on the issue. But if you don't want to avoid the situation completely, you could try and practise some speech techniques as well as preparing the speech and practising it in front of someone - make it a short bullet point humourous type speech rather than an essay type. Eg. 3 things people don't know about me. 3 foods I absolutely hate. 3countries/cities I'd most like to visit. The last holiday I was on was xxxx. These sort of things will make people listen to the content rather than trying to give them a big saga about what your job is. If it's only 2 mins rather than 5 no-one will notice. Also if there is a choice, offer to go first to get it over with.

Stephen P

Jumbo - in a situation like that the best thing you can do is lots of preparation. As sadie said make it almost bullet points rather than an essay type format. Try to ad in a few gags, people won't notice your stutter if they're laughing. The people who make remarks about it after are fools and I wouldn't bother with them, they're the ones with the problem. If I was part of a large group and the speaker had a lisp or some other speech disorder I'd think "the poor fella must be sh!tting it" and thats it, I wouldn't dwell on it. I know I'm coming from the point of view of a stutterer but I can assure you non-stutterer's would feel the same. Just look at the thread entitled "Non Stutterer's View".

Best of luck with it and please tell us how you get on afterwards.

Jumbo156

Thanks for the replies
Avoiding the day is not an option as I think I would feel worse if I let this stammer get the better of me..
I am hoping that it is going to be a very relaxed atmosphere which would make it easier for me.
But as was said there will be another 24 in the room sh**ing themselves as well.
I don't really know what I am going to do
I think I will go first, as sitting there waiting would make me worse.
Thanks again and I'll let you know how I get on

Jumbo156

Well
I survived, as I said I went first, I think I spoke for a bought 5 minutes without breathing ( well that's what it felt like).
Didn't really stammer, I think I just came across as being nervous as did half of the room
And How I enjoy the free pints after the meeting!
Thanks for listening

Stephen P

Well done jumbo, it's great to hear that it went well!!

sadie9

Great stuff!! I'm delighted it went well for you. Next stop Toastmasters!

Stephen P

sadie9 wrote: »

Great stuff!! I'm delighted it went well for you. Next stop Toastmasters!

Toastmasters would actually be very good for people who are very nervous speaking in public. I would like to hear from people who have experience with Toastmasters. I heard a presentation on Toastmasters at the last National Stammering Awareness Day and I was impressed at what they do at a meeting.

greenberet

Like yourself Stephen, I was very impressed with the Toastmasters Presentation at the Irish Stuttering Awareness day in october 2007.

Toastmasters & public speaking in general is an area I would have stayed well clear off.

It was reassuring to see that Toastmasters don't discourage people who stutter form joining.

Its good to see they are tolerant & accomodating.

I had good intentions of joining the city centre Toastmasters in Boswell's Hotel I think it was in january 2008 as a new years resolution but alas it never happened & went by the wayside.

The cost of attending is pretty nominal €2 or something like that.

I guess its very difficult to do on ones own.
It would be nice for a few people who stutter to join together.
Then again i wonder how tolerant the members would become - only joking! Confidence can do nothing but good for us all - its certainly worth joining even if its just to sit back & relax.

My dread would be speaking in front of the Toastmasters Group.
Still I have to face the music sooner or later.

Barry

brianmc

Just stumbled across this thread while randomly browsing boards.ie.

A friend of mine is a member of toastmasters in Boswell's hotel and I went along to one of the meetings when they were all asked to try and bring along a guest to help drum up new members.

I didn't join at the time but it's been on my "things that would be worth doing" list for a long time now. I was genuinely impressed at how much it was focussed on helping people improve their public speaking WHATEVER level they were currently at. I had visions of it being all about witty repostes and high brow debates but not in the slightest.

There was a very wide range of abilitys in the room and it was actually quite a small group. Some people were quite experienced and enjoyable to listen to and others were clearly less experienced but the atmosphere was always relaxed and all about brining peoples skills along.

In a meeting they cover a wide range of styles of speaking - there'll be some people giving presentations ranging from "an informal gathering" to "a formal ceremony" to "presenting a technical topic". There's open dialogue where a topic is presented to the room and people are invited to stand up and make comment and various other scenarios that I can't remember at the moment.

Where a topic was presented to the floor for people to comment on, there was no pressure, if everything was silent, one of the more expereinced speakers might put in a few words but people who were newer didn't feel out of place if they decided to say a piece. It was all about presenting the opportunity for people to give it a go and work on things at their own pace without any pressure.

I may join up yet, since I recently packed in something that was already stealing some of my evenings.

I have to say though, that it sounds like it would be absolutely ideal for someone in, for example, the OPs position. And anyone who is nervous about joining up and giving it a go wouldn't be long settling in.

Charlie_Boswell

I meant to drop in some words of encouragement during the week but hadn't the chance untill now. So Well Done. I recently did an job interview which, although I didn't get the job went very well. I think it all comes down to practise and having the right attitude.

On the toastmasters thing, I too had a new years resolution to join one in Cork but so far haven't got around to it. (So I just sent a mail to one of the clubs in Cork to see if I could come along to their next meeting.) Should be fun!:eek:

Charlie.

mountain

Hi Jumbo,

well done, i just saw this thread now, and when reading your first post,
i could feel my stomach sinking, i can only imagine the dread that you were feeling,
Going through the following posts and finding when you said that it when well, i was thrilled!

im delighted for you.

Xhristy

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