Whats this weird scared feeling

LegacyUser

Ive been at my new job a month- Basically yesterday one of the workers gave out to me at me for"disrespecting him"(i didnt- he called me and i didnt hear him) Anyway he was calling me cheeky and saying"Its up to you weather we get on or not"

He shocked the hell outta me- and i called in sick to work today cos i just dont want to go back.Sounds so childish but my heart skipped a beat when he did it i felt like i was 5 getting told off for being bold.And im not 5 im 22 and i dont know why but he scared me.

This guys not my boss he is above me job wise though that doesnt give him a right to yell at me like that-I wont go to my boss(though i think he knows cos a lota ppl heard him ) cos its not that big a deal really but I dont know why its affecting me It makes me not want to go back there.

denhaagenite

You're bound to be a bit shocked if you're new there. Go back to work tomorrow and if you manage to get him alone, tell him how you felt about it. If he reacts badly to this, go straight to your boss with it. This is workplace bullying and it's not viewed well.

funloving

Didn't you go to work for something like it?
Learn to be strong and face things instead of escaping

Spud83

I'm sorry but this sounds like the most childish thing in the world. You honestly cant handly somebody giving out to you, or worse you cant stand up for yourself when it happens. You need to grow up and become a lot tougher otherwise this world will beat you down pretty damn quick.

Is this your first job?

LadyJ

I am like this too. I always feel like I'm about 5 when someone gives out to me and I am also 22. Tbh though, calling a 22 year old cheeky is completely inappropriate imo. It is something one would say to a child so I'm not surprised you felt that way.

Do tell your boss though and maybe confront the person who said this to you beforehand.

Dragan

Hmm.....more bullying in the workplace. I love these ones.

Bullies are cowards. The guy wants to feel important so he is expecting you to want to get to know him. Don't bother.

You don't need to know and be friends with everyone in the workplace. If someone is an asshat then ignore them most of the time but maintain a professional working relationship with them.

The last time someone told me they "were the type of person you should know in here, so put the work in and we might be friends" i sent them an e-mail that went like this

Re : Conversation earlier today

Dear XYZ,

regarding your comments earlier if you could just type me out a list of the benefits of knowing you and what you may offer me as a friend i would be delighted if you could send me a list of the main advantages so that i can prioritise accordingly?

Thank You,
Me.

That shut him the **** up. Office politics only works when people are scared.

LegacyUser

Im not allowed to stand up for myself he has the authority to kick me out of his station(Its a kitchen)He started yelling at me in front of everyone in the kitchen cos i was doing something and didnt hear him call me, if i answered back he would have kicked me out of his kitchen and then i would have to go to the boss and hes not going to believe me over the head chef, i tried to explain to him that i wasnt being cheeky that i didnt hear him and he just said "Shut it"

seamus

The guy who said it to you sounds like a complete and utter moron. You don't speak to colleagues that way, no matter who you are.
Complain about it to your boss, but not in a serious way - just make it clear that you think the other guy's a complete wanker for giving out to you in front of everyone. Chances are you'll find that everyone considers this guy to be a complete prick with notions above his station and they all hate/ignore him.

Finding out that it's not personal and that the guy is just a wanker will make that fear go away.

Hail 2 Da Chimp

Dragan wrote: »

You don't need to know and be friends with everyone in the workplace. If someone is an asshat then ignore them most of the time but maintain a professional working relationship with them.

Further to that, I would think about giving your boss a heads up, I've been in situations like that where I just thought Fuck it... Then a month or two later got into rows with the other person, where it was their fault again. I would have been better if I had just said to my boss first, "This guy is being an asshole, whats his deal"?

Marksie

OP: there is no reason to keep rewriting the same post. Modertaors have to approve anonymous posts and that causes delays.

Patience please

pwd

kitchens are fairly notorious for this sort of thing. Some people like it.
Probably where the phrase "If you can't take the heat.." comes from
I dunno. I think most people here are more accustomed to offices, where the rules are different.
Don't take it personally. Go back to work. Observe how other people there handle that sort of stuff.

Spud83

wanttoleave wrote: »

Im not allowed to stand up for myself he has the authority to kick me out of his station(Its a kitchen)He started yelling at me in front of everyone in the kitchen cos i was doing something and didnt hear him call me, if i answered back he would have kicked me out of his kitchen and then i would have to go to the boss and hes not going to believe me over the head chef, i tried to explain to him that i wasnt being cheeky that i didnt hear him and he just said "Shut it"

Chefs are normally very high strung from my understanding, and this could actually be considered normal behaviour in a busy restaurant kitchen. You could say something too your boss chances are he knows about it but doesn't want to upset his head chef, talk to the other employees and see what they think.

Again is this your first job?

BobTheBeat

Its up to you if ye get on or not? Id tell him to go fcuk himself. In fairness, should your working life be measured by the yardstick that is whether or not ye get on? Straight to your boss in the morning and give him a full rundown of what happened. At the very least I would expect an apology from this douche.

LouOB

My heart would skip a beat if someone talked to me like that
I would be shocked also

You could 1.do the right thing pull him aside and ask him why or
2.ask others you like in the co about this guy - is this is 'way'
3.once bitten twice shy - keep out of his way and ask for all details in writing - cuts communication down on his side

LegacyUser

alanmurphy83 wrote: »

Chefs are normally very high strung from my understanding, and this could actually be considered normal behaviour in a busy restaurant kitchen. You could say something too your boss chances are he knows about it but doesn't want to upset his head chef, talk to the other employees and see what they think.

Again is this your first job?

No I have had other Jobs, normally jobs in taxi ranks and so forth

I dont even work in the kitchen Im a waitress and only went in to the kitchen to get some extra menus, and when i went back out people were staring at me so Im sure they heard him. What annoys me i didnt do anything, I honestly didnt hear him and he speaks to me like a 5 year old whos being scolded for drawing on the wallpaper.

I have spoken to a few of the people I work with and they all said"Ah he was just stressed hes a puppydog really, Get on his good side and he will love ya"

Thing Is I found out as well that the girl i have replaced was great pals with him, and she got fired, So I dont know If its a case of hating the new girl but Its still unfair in my book.

pwd

I'd hold off the going to the boss thing. You'd be better telling him to fnck himself than complaining about him (though I wouldn't advise doing that just yet either) It could be the sort of environment where everyone gives everyone else sh!t as a matter of course. If that's the case and you go to the boss you'll make a very bad first impression.

denhaagenite

I went to college to become a chef but never ended up doing it because of this kind of rubbish.

The general consensus is that chefs have it tough and always shout at eachother like this but it's rubbish and you don't have to put up with it. If you really want this job, let your boss know but take it on the chin from the head chef.

The only reason that chefs are like raging lunatics sometimes is because they have a superiority complex and think everything they do is sheer brilliance. I admit it's hard but it doesn't give them a right to go off on one at their kitchen staff, or the waiter who brings back a dish that THEY didn't do right.

You will toughen up after a while- but it does take time.

sunnyjim

I have spoken to a few of the people I work with and they all said"Ah he was just stressed hes a puppydog really, Get on his good side and he will love ya"

I love this - basically, everyone else is afraid of the bully, so they all lick ass to keep him sweet.

I was on your end of the stick for 3 years in a hell-hole warehouse, taking ****e of some forklift drivers. In every job since, I've come across the same type of person, although these days I don't let some ould-sweat-jobsworth type push me around. It's funny, all it takes is for one new employee to dish it back and then everyone is at it You should be that person.

LegacyUser

sunnyjim wrote: »

I love this - basically, everyone else is afraid of the bully, so they all lick ass to keep him sweet.

I was on your end of the stick for 3 years in a hell-hole warehouse, taking ****e of some forklift drivers. In every job since, I've come across the same type of person, although these days I don't let some ould-sweat-jobsworth type push me around. It's funny, all it takes is for one new employee to dish it back and then everyone is at it You should be that person.

I dont think they are scared of him- they said that "he helps us and hes good to us" and when they need anything from the boss he sorts it for them, he sits them on his break and thay chin wag away and they go out drinking and all

But i wont go near him now-Yesterday evening i needed to ask him the special cos it hadnt been printed out yet and i asked one of the girls to go in for me and she laughed and said "aw how cute ur scared of him"

Davei141

Grow a pair and tell him not to speak to you like that. Its really that simple.

pwd

Davei141 wrote: »

Grow a pair and tell him not to speak to you like that. Its really that simple.

hahaha you didn't read this thread before you posted did you

Marksie

If you are scared of him, and you are not going to get backing what are you going to do?


Is the job that high powered you can't get one anywhere else?

You have options:

1) yell back, face him down, difficult
2) report him, but you arent going to get any backing by the looks of things
3) tell him calmly not to talk to you like that.
4) accept it meekly and stick it out
5) leave

MagicMarker

I'd agree with the 'grow a pair' sentiments. Seriously, you're not a child anymore. The fact that you called in sick will only worsen things.

Davei141

pwd wrote: »

hahaha you didn't read this thread before you posted did you

Girls can grow pairs too!

Imhof Tank

If there is one thing to be learned from watching shows like Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares its that normal rules of conduct don’t apply in working kitchens. The posters here who have experience of the industry seem to broadly confirm that this is how things are in kitchens.

If you were in the Army this behaviour would be considered part of the experience and these head chef types seem to operate similarly to the military.

You are wasting your time trying to apply the workplace rules which are more appropriate to an office environment, to working kitchens - do you seriously expect the Boss to discipline/ fire the head chef because after 5 minutes in the job, you are complaining of a “weird” feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Aved

Working in a kitchen is very stressful. I've worked in similar environments and getting yelled and sweared at is all part of the process and I found there were two options 1. You let it get to you which makes the situation worse or 2. Ignore it he probably just flipped. I know thats easier said than done initially but from being in similar situations if I let the other person know it was effecting me it would continuously happen but when I took it as part and parcel of the job/environment it became a lot easier to deal with. As long as you don't take it personally (hard to do I know) as the outburst probably wasn't solely because of you mishearing him however it was very unprofessional to snap at you but unfortunately these things happen.:rolleyes:
I'm sure everything will be fine and forgotten about when you go into work tomorrow.

the_syco

wanttoleave wrote: »

Im not allowed to stand up for myself he has the authority to kick me out of his station(Its a kitchen)He started yelling at me in front of everyone in the kitchen cos i was doing something and didnt hear him call me, if i answered back he would have kicked me out of his kitchen and then i would have to go to the boss and hes not going to believe me over the head chef, i tried to explain to him that i wasnt being cheeky that i didnt hear him and he just said "Shut it"

Oh, that brings me back, was about 16 at the time. Head chef was a complete and utter bas*ard in the kitchen, but sound and one of the boys outside it. He had to. Not only was it his job to ensure that the food kept going out, but also that everyone obeyed him. In a environment like the kitchen, you need to be on your toes at all times, not only to ensure you make the food, but also to avoid danger. As a waitress, you may not have known not to do something, and the chef shouted at you. A good bo||oxing there and then is the only cure for a f**kup in a kitchen (quick, to the point, and avoids the same f**kup before the day finishes).

My advice, brush it off your shoulder, and ignore it, but keep your wits about you in the kitchen. Timid people get eaten alive in places like this.

Running Bing

wanttoleave wrote: »

Im not allowed to stand up for myself he has the authority to kick me out of his station(Its a kitchen)He started yelling at me in front of everyone in the kitchen cos i was doing something and didnt hear him call me, if i answered back he would have kicked me out of his kitchen and then i would have to go to the boss and hes not going to believe me over the head chef, i tried to explain to him that i wasnt being cheeky that i didnt hear him and he just said "Shut it"

All bets are off then imo.



I was about to [post a response saying how the guy is totally out of line but kitchens are different. I take it he is a chef?


Its not right but its par for the course with kitchens. Its an incredibly stressful environment where people will take their frustrations out on you. Again not right but its not gonna change so you have to make a choice either a) take it with a pinch of salt and stand up to him or find work somewhere else.

Mutz

alanmurphy83 wrote: »

I'm sorry but this sounds like the most childish thing in the world. You honestly cant handly somebody giving out to you, or worse you cant stand up for yourself when it happens. You need to grow up and become a lot tougher otherwise this world will beat you down pretty damn quick.

Is this your first job?

While slightly harshly put, i have to agree. Get yourself a hard skin quickly. The real world is a pain is the ass and so you must become one too to get along. I stick to this - be an asshole to assholes and be nice to noce people.

You could always say to him? "Why are you shouting? I can hear you perfectly." in a matter of fact tone. Always brings people crashing back to earth.

Sqaull20

Forget about it....

I get into spats at work all the time and sometimes the best thing to do is just to get on with it, he made you look like a fool, it happens.

Your going to get into arguments where ever you work, not just kitchens, a simple f**k off will do next time

Sqaull20

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Gqwi7Y96sk

LegacyUser

Well today I went into work , and someone complained their food wasnt up to standard and i had to bring the food back, he slapped the plate out of my hand and screamed at me "Tell them to **** off" , so i just went back to the custom ers and said "The chef apoligises and your food will be out soon" (i wasnt going out saying "the chef said **** off)

Anyway i went back in to the kitchen and he grabbed me(I mean grabbed by the arm) and said "Why the hel;l did you say the chef apoligies- i didnt i told you to tell them **** off now go do it" and shoved me away. I just said "I will not go out and curse at the customers Ill get fired and dont you put your hands on me again. To which he screamed "Get the **** out of my kitchen you smart alec little **** before i roast you.

I went out and got on with my job, half an hour later the boss called me in(head chef was there too) and i was basically told i wasnt a "team player" and that I was no longer needed at the job- when i explained the boss said "You shouldnt have put words in his mouth , you should have told the customers what he had said"

I just walked out when he said thaat

I mean WTF kinda justice is in the world.

If i had cursed at them id have been fired
EWhen i tried to butter it up a lil i got fired anyway

**** this ****!!!

Catari Jaguar

wanttoleave wrote: »

Well today I went into work , and someone complained their food wasnt up to standard and i had to bring the food back, he slapped the plate out of my hand and screamed at me "Tell them to **** off" , so i just went back to the custom ers and said "The chef apoligises and your food will be out soon" (i wasnt going out saying "the chef said **** off)

Anyway i went back in to the kitchen and he grabbed me(I mean grabbed by the arm) and said "Why the hel;l did you say the chef apoligies- i didnt i told you to tell them **** off now go do it" and shoved me away. I just said "I will not go out and curse at the customers Ill get fired and dont you put your hands on me again. To which he screamed "Get the **** out of my kitchen you smart alec little **** before i roast you.

I went out and got on with my job, half an hour later the boss called me in(head chef was there too) and i was basically told i wasnt a "team player" and that I was no longer needed at the job- when i explained the boss said "You shouldnt have put words in his mouth , you should have told the customers what he had said"

I just walked out when he said thaat

I mean WTF kinda justice is in the world.

If i had cursed at them id have been fired
EWhen i tried to butter it up a lil i got fired anyway

**** this ****!!!

You got fired??? For what?

Complete unfair dismissal on top of a physical and verbal assault?!

Were there witnesses?

I'd slap a law suit on them so fast if they did that to me.

Sqaull20

What kinda of a man grabs a girl and says "Get the **** out of my kitchen you smart alec little **** before i roast you"?

If he done this to my little sister I would kill the c**t..

denhaagenite

The customer is always right, even to an egotistical chef- something smacks of troll here...

Wibbs

denhaagenite wrote: »

The customer is always right, even to an egotistical chef- something smacks of troll here...

If you have a problem with this thread report it.

Incidently the world is full of idiots including those who don't see that the "customer is always right". I've met enough gobshítes in my life to know that.

LadyJ

OP, if this is for real then I'd say you should sue them. That's absolutely unbelievable behaviour. Get legal advice. I would not let them get away with that.

HJL

You should call into or ring the citizens advise, they'll give you free advise on what to do. What you described is unfair dismissal, and bullying in the workplace, and grabbing you is assualt. You should not let them get away with it. The boss is equally to blame i think.

Place sounds like a joke to be honest, your better of out of it. You'll find another job and know kitchens are stressful places, but they're not all like what you described.

muppetkiller

Assault and unfair dismissal, i'd take them for every penny you can get ! these guys need to be taught a lesson.

MattKid

Don't forget to name and shame the place on boards!

Marksie

MattKid wrote: »

Don't forget to name and shame the place on boards!

Oh no you dont, that will be deleted.

Clear workplace harrassment and unfair dismissal. Not to mention assault.

Squall20: I am warning you about advocating violence

Imhof Tank

Marksie wrote: »

.

Clear workplace harrassment and unfair dismissal.

I wouldnt say it was that clear. As she was only in the job 5 minutes, she may have been working a probation period.

An unfair dismissal claim can only be taken by employees with at least one year's continuous service.

Xiney

unfair dismissal only comes into play after a year, that is correct.


Go to the Garda station and have him charged with assault. Possibly go to the papers, they might do a story on it. Heck, call RTE.

the_syco

wanttoleave wrote: »

I just walked out when he said thaat

Actually, it's not unfair dismissal, it's constructive dismissal, as she walked out on them.

Marksie

Fair enough i stand corrected . Yep she walked.

Overheal

Kitchens as far as I have seen seem to operate on a direct heirarchy and sometimes demand almost military obedience. It's not for everyone.

From what I've heard the Chef was such a person, that expected his orders to be followed to the letter. Hence, by not telling the customer 'My apologies but the Chef's says for you to "**** Off"' , you are not following his instructions. Its the same as if you are asked to do something in a certain way, whats to say you don't take your own deviation on it? It could spoil the menu for all you may know at the time. If you write something out differently on a docket, it only stirs sh1t and confusion.

I say take it as a lesson. There's authorities you will work under that will be nicer than others. And there is a good reason they say 'if you cant stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen'.

The only thing you can do here is learn from the experience and file a report with the Gardai if you feel it is merited.