Is there any point competing with Mammy bear?

Pighead

Pigheads pretty sure he's gonna have kids at some point in the future and being the needy attention seeker that he is he'll want to be the kids favorite parent.

But is this possible. Almost everybody Pighead knows prefers their mothers than their father. Is this an inbuilt mechanism that every kid has? Is it as natural a reaction as a fart after a night on the Harp? It would be the proudest moment of Pigheads life if the flesh of his magnificent loins were after to whisper into his ear "Daddy you're the best and you're my favourite parent in the world, INCLUDING MAMMY"

Question is this, will Pighead and Miss Piggy be starting off on a level playing field or will she have some maternal advantage due to the fact that she has carried the kid for 9 months. Pighead doesn't want to start a smear campaign against the mother of his child but desperate times etc.

Dun laoire

Fathers dote on the girls and Mothers dote on the boys.

is_that_so

It's the porridge. Mammy bears are better at it. And they are less scary. Look at that Charmin bog roll ad.

cson

It is indeed a curious one Senor Pighead. I would imagine that your best chance is that the child is a girl. Theres the possibility she could be a daddys girl. Failing that, give them stuff their Mammy doesn't allow them. As in, if they want sweets and mammy bear won't give in, this allows ample opportunity for Pighead to whip out a box of smarties from his jacket with a whispered "Don't tell your mammy" Which they almost certainly will. And that brings conflict with the Missus. But desperate times call for desperate measures eh?

Beruthiel

A girl will wrap you round her little finger.
She will do no wrong in your eyes.
Thus I predict that if you're not careful, you'll have a spoiled Mini Piggie who'll be out knacker drinking every weekend.
If you ask her where's she's been, she'll bat her eyelashes at you, and say she was doing homework in her friends house, and you'll believe her!!!!
Sucker.
/left field....

Pighead

Beruthiel wrote: »

A girl will wrap you round her little finger.
She will do no wrong in your eyes.
Thus I predict that if you're not careful, you'll have a spoiled Mini Piggie who'll be out knacker drinking every weekend.
If you ask her where's she's been, she'll bat her eyelashes at you, and say she was doing homework in her friends house, and you'll believe her!!!!
Sucker.
/left field....

It'd would be a tough one but Pighead reckons he could cope with an off the rails daughter if it meant he was guaranteed status as favourite parent.

Now next question, is there any way in increasing your chances of having a baby girl? Pighead once heard that the wheelbarrow increases the chances of a female offspring by 74%. Any truth in this?

LadyJ

God I dunno Piggy, most of my friends prefer their Dad by miles! Depends on lots of things I guess but with people I know, on average, the Dads would be in the lead.

MarkR

Hmmm... A tricky situation. If you can't be the favourite parent, maybe you can be the parent they hate the least.

Slip mood altering drugs into Mrs Piggy's food. Tell the piglet that mommy said she was fat. Tape a picture of a more photogenic pig and tape it over the pic in her wallet. Show it to little piglet. Hilarity will ensue. Console child with sweets, cash, and the promise of a new mommy.

Beruthiel

Pighead wrote: »

It'd would be a tough one but Pighead reckons he could cope with an off the rails daughter if it meant he was guaranteed status as favourite parent.

I'm afraid that sentence reeks of naivety Piggie.
Good luck.
You're gonna need it.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Pighead wrote: »

It'd would be a tough one but Pighead reckons he could cope with an off the rails daughter if it meant he was guaranteed status as favourite parent.

Now next question, is there any way in increasing your chances of having a baby girl? Pighead once heard that the wheelbarrow increases the chances of a female offspring by 74%. Any truth in this?

Dearest daddy pighead would be a ****ign walkover - whi-cassssh whi-casssh...... And the next thing you know he's having remortgage the mansion for honey's super sweet sixteen.

MarkR

Hmmm... Off the rails daughter could also lead to the early onset of grandchildren. More test subjects kids to love!

Pighead

Beruthiel wrote: »

I'm afraid that sentence reeks of naivety Piggie.
Good luck.
You're gonna need it.

No Babes. WE'RE gonna need it.

Anyway, forgot about the whole Daddys girl thing to be honest. Is there any blokes here who prefer their father to their mother?

Kur4mA

Hate/Love them both equally

Not I. I love me Mammy... but my Da is a ****ebag.

Rb

I couldn't really pick between them.

However, my Dad never picked arguments with me over trivial things, or gave out about me not studying, even kept really cool when they caught me off my head on E. He's the "cooler" of the two by a long shot, but couldn't choose between them.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Pighead wrote: »

No Babes. WE'RE gonna need it.

Anyway, forgot about the whole Daddys girl thing to be honest. Is there any blokes here who prefer their father to their mother?

Pighead has Daddy issues, mmmm? Anything you want to let out?

cson

Hmm, gotta agree with Ikky Poo2. Despite his user name taking away from what he says, he has a point. I'd imagine Daddy Pighead would be remortgaging the house for Petunia Piglets Super Sweet Samagical Sanfantasic SonWonderful Sixteenth.

Pighead

rb_ie wrote: »

I couldn't really pick between them.

However, my Dad never picked arguments with me over trivial things, or gave out about me not studying, even kept really cool when they caught me off my head on E. He's the "cooler" of the two by a long shot, but couldn't choose between them.

Maybe your dad had the same idea as Pighead. Maybe he stayed cool when he caught you on E because he was gunning for the favourite parent prize. Surely theres always a bit of competition between the parents.

Pighead

Ikky Poo2 wrote: »

Pighead has Daddy issues, mmmm? Anything you want to let out?

Daddy issues? The only Daddy issue Pighead has is his moustache. Its gotta go. ITS NOT 1973 ANYMORE PAPA.

cson

Five Thousandth post coming up Pighead. Anything special in the pipeline?

Pighead

cson wrote: »

Five Thousandth post coming up Pighead. Anything special in the pipeline?

Pigheads thinking of using his 5000th post to highlight the dangers of tanning machines to the young girls of boards. About time Pighead gave something back to the community.

Anyway back on topic, no daughter of Pigheads will be allowed to fake tan herself.

cson

Pighead wrote: »

Pigheads thinking of using his 5000th post to highlight the dangers of tanning machines to the young girls of boards. About time Pighead gave something back to the community.

Anyway back on topic, no daughter of Pigheads will be allowed to fake tan herself.

Do you really think you have the Stalin like iron fist to make that one work? The other little 5 year olds will bully her because she isn't orange enough.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

Pighead wrote: »

Pigheads thinking of using his 5000th post to highlight the dangers of tanning machines to the young girls of boards. About time Pighead gave something back to the community.

Anyway back on topic, no daughter of Pigheads will be allowed to fake tan herself.

What about a four month vacation in the Seyshelles for a genuine one? PLease, daddy, plaase, please, all the other Daddies gave their daughters one, please , whi-casssh whi-casssh....

kraggy

I don't have ANY parents.

Beruthiel wrote: »

A girl will wrap you round her little finger.
who'll be out knacker drinking every weekend.
/left field....

That phrase never fails to make me chuckle.

Rb

Pighead wrote: »

Maybe your dad had the same idea as Pighead. Maybe he stayed cool when he caught you on E because he was gunning for the favourite parent prize. Surely theres always a bit of competition between the parents.

Dunno, friends used to refer to how cool he was the whole time so maybe it's just the image he has in general? And it's not the "I'm cool 'cause I dig the music you guys listen to" kind of cool either 'cause he certainly doesn't.

Definitely competition between parents though, as there is between children to be favourite. I know I'll try to be "cool" to my kids, not by acting "hip" or that sh1t. I can see it now, I want the kids to vacuum the house, and it'll be asked by "Mum wants you to vacuum the house, you know how she is, just get it done and we'll go buy that thing you've been looking for since your friends parents bought him/her one". Then I'll be #1 parent and will always be able to rely on the kids to extend their garage in the event that my fortune goes belly up.

The Hill Billy

I don't have ANY parents.

Dun laoire wrote:

Mothers dote on the boys.

But not all the boys. Oh no! Just the two youngest Billy Brothers - isn't that right ye pair of golden-bo11ocked rays of sunshine?!


* heads to PI *

Lockstep

I'm a bloke and I prefer Mammy

I get on 10 times better with my old man.


Ma can be a bit odd.



It's just most guys get on with their mother.
My dad just happens to be easier to get along with.

nmk

I'm a bloke and I prefer Mammy

Whoops, selected wrong option when voting, I'm more of a daddy's girl Pighead watch that Mel Gibson movie What Women Want and you'll get tips on winning over the girls. Boys are more easy going in general, attention and interest in them and dads rule. Friends of mine tend to have preferred dads when growing up (possibly cos they saw less of him than sahm and he wasn't as involved in the boring day to day stuff) then mothers tended to gain popularity as they get older.