Is it socially acceptable...

LegacyUser

... to ask out a complete stranger when you're both on public transport? I was on the train this morning and caught the eye of this beautiful girl. The kind that makes your jaw drop to the floor. As the journey progressed I had this whole 'go up and say hello' 'no, I cant, I'm too scared' battle going on in my head. I figured when we got to the station (most people get off at the station I get off at) I'd just go up and say something. But she didn't get off at the station! She went on to the next one. Dunno if I'll get another chance, but if I do, is it all right to just go up and do that sort of thing on a really packed train? I mean, sardines in a can packed. Or would it just seem too weird?

Dragan

Just do it. I have done it in the past. I know some people don't have the bottle and others might think she will not respond well but it has never been a miss for me. Wait for the smile after eye contact and if it's there then move.

Simple.

BaZmO*

You might embarrass the girl alright. And if she wasn't into you it could be very embarrassing for you getting knocked back in such a crowded space. But as for it being socially acceptable, sure why not.

Dragan

I never understood the whole "embarassment" about either being asked out or getting knocked back to be honest. I'm merely expressing a casual interest in someone based purely on appearance....it's harldy a proposal of marrige.

funloving

what do you have to lose? do it..you never know if she can be interested or not....
Dont ask for her munber though,remember you're a total stranger for her.
Give her yours and hope

BaZmO*

I agree but it's one thing getting knocked back in a bar or when it's you and just the person knocking you back but it'd be worse in front of a load of people.

I do however agree with your point about making sure you at least get eye contact and a smile before approaching her.

He who dares rodders!!

nevaeh-2die-4

if she was jaw dropping, what makes u think u would stand a chance.

i say it would defo be a can of mase to the face.

aye

going through the same dilemma at the moment, only thing is the girl i see is on my train each day.
i'd say go for it, i will too when i get my balls together! life's too short.

if she says no, i gotta get a different train!

uptherebels

op you might as well go for it.if it doesnt work out then youll probably never see her again so why not

denhaagenite

I would be so flattered if someone did that to me!! Go for it, the worst that can happen is she'll say no.

No regrets if you do OP!

dudara

BoyNamedSue wrote: »

... to ask out a complete stranger when you're both on public transport?

I would like to tell you to go for it, carpe diem and all that.

However, think what it is like to be on public transport. You don't want to make eye contact with anyone or start any conversation in case they turn out to be a screwball or they hassle you.

However, really, my romantic side is saying that you should just go for it. Just do it in a nice manner

LegacyUser

Definitely go for it. I was stopped and asked out once by a cute guy on the street. I was really flattered and would have said yes except I was already seeing someone.

Pigeon Reaper

Go for it but just make sure you have an escape route planned incase it doesn't go well. Try not to corner the girl either.

Miss Fluff

Why don't you write her a note and give it to her when getting off the train telling her you think she is hot and leave your number if she would like to meet up some time. Approaching her directly might be a bit much.

Zombrex

Well the problem is that girls love being asked out by guys they would like to go out with, and they hate being asked out by guys they wouldn't.

So as someone else said, you need an escape route if things go south. Also don't push it. If it isn't working leave it.

I would also say that if you are really nervous in your own head don't do it, because it is doubtful that it will come across well. In fact you might come across as weird and strange, which needless to say would reflect badly against you.

Try and have a point for talking to her, even if that point is simply that you would like to ask her out. Banal conversation ("So... you like ... stuff ...?") is a big no no. Its awkward and off putting.

Even if in your head you don't believe it, act as if this is normal as asking do you have a light, and if she says no that is fine. Don't get mad and never use self deprivation "humour" ("Fair enough. I'm such an idiot for asking you out ain't I. Yeah you can say it, I'm an idiot. Its just you are really nice. But I'm an idiot, its ok you can say it").

dirtydress

I would love if someone asked me out like that! Definitely go for it, the worst that can happen is she says no and you have to go back to your seat...a few minutes of discomfort is worth the possibility of a great date!

Lux23

If she gives you a look back then go for it but you really wouldn't want to make her uncomfortable either but you should be able to tell that from her body language.

A.Partridge

BoyNamedSue wrote: »

... to ask out a complete stranger when you're both on public transport? I was on the train this morning and caught the eye of this beautiful girl. The kind that makes your jaw drop to the floor. As the journey progressed I had this whole 'go up and say hello' 'no, I cant, I'm too scared' battle going on in my head. I figured when we got to the station (most people get off at the station I get off at) I'd just go up and say something. But she didn't get off at the station! She went on to the next one. Dunno if I'll get another chance, but if I do, is it all right to just go up and do that sort of thing on a really packed train? I mean, sardines in a can packed. Or would it just seem too weird?

Ehhh....your real name wouldn't be James Blunt by any chance?

Overheal

What is this country's problem with Train Love? I made a terrible mistake by not commuting..

If you don't have the nerves in you to strike the conversation, at least as your getting off, hand her a note or something with your number on it. It doesnt have to say much. Even if you left your number and said "(I'm Shy.)" underneath; could go well.

Give it a shot.

SarahSassy

If you are nervous and think you would make a bags of it, I would suggest giving her your number as you jump off and just saying call me. If she is interested and single she will, if not, she had her chance.

IanCurtis

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking these people are available because they're on their own BUT she's going to college/work/somewhere!!!!

I see a hundred gorgeous girls on my way through town in the mornings, but most of them won't be single.

By all means go for it, but I guarantee it won't be a wise move.

I keep that stuff for when it's appropriate.

Mind you, I am single so what the fcuk do I know eh?!

Húrin

denhaagenite wrote: »

I would be so flattered if someone did that to me!!

the purpose of asking a girl out is not to inflate her ego.

Húrin

IanCurtis wrote: »

A lot of people make the mistake of thinking these people are available because they're on their own BUT she's going to college/work/somewhere!!!!

there's absolutely no way of knowing (unless she has an engagement or wedding ring on her finger) whether or not she's available so he might as well try.

LegacyUser

Hey everyone

So OP this happened to me before. There was a guy on my train most mornings and some evenings and I thought he was so cute. It turns out that he works in my business park (worked actually, I don't work there anymore). I use to see him on the train platform only rather than on the train, some days we'd get the same train in the morning and the same train in the evening. I noticed that he got off the stop before me which was a pain. I spotted him in my business park and I know he noticed me as in that's the girl I see everywhere. But there was no smile, no nod, no hello. But I wasn't put off, which was stupid. Anyway one day I finally plucked up the courage to say as he walked past me "How are you?". How dumb was that - I was sooooooo embarrassed. I definitely should have thought of something better to say.... but his reply was grand or something to that effect and he walked on. Not exactly asking him out - but still, I was dying of embarrassment.

Anyway one day I was on the net and totally bored and came across this funny link... you should check it out http://www.videojug.com/film/how-to-chat-someone-up-on-the-train-bus-or-tube

mojokiss13

It's completely acceptable in America, the last time I was in New York I got chatted up everywhere! In Ireland, not so much, but hey, what do you have to lose? Go for it

the dee

I'd say go for it but don't get your hopes up.

The kinds of guys who usually try to chat me up or ask me out in public are always a bit strange and too persistant for my liking. (overly friendly, asking again and again, not taking no for an answer until I have to get angry and tell them to leave me alone) I'm wary of any strangers talking to me now because of this. She might have had similar experiences.

It's not so much the culture in Ireland to approach strangers without being in a pub or a club, it'd be nice if it was though. Give it a try anyway. You've nothing to lose!

smiler26

I'd definitely go for it - what have you got to lose?

Curvy Vixen

I'm with Miss Fluff on the note idea. This saves embarrasment on both your sides but also gives her time to consider it over the next few days. It might be that she would blurt out no if you asked and then kicked herself afterwards for not saying yes.

And make the note nice and simple along the lines of 'Just wanted to say I think you have a lovely smile ~ if you fancy coffee sometime here's my number 08x xxxxxx'

Try to avoid any 'funny' lines or too much flattery ~ that could come across as very weird!

Dragan

Húrin wrote: »

the purpose of asking a girl out is not to inflate her ego.

Wh, big difference between feeling flattered and feeling egotistical my friend.

nevaeh-2die-4

follow her home,
then stay in the bushes for a few hours simply observe her at home find her interests, leave her gifts on her doorstep.

then after 15 days of gifts show up at her door in ur best suit a big bunch of flowers & milktray and engagement ring & drop to one knee & ask for her hand in marriage


woman love that type of thing .

Gyalist

Do not give her a note. The odds of her calling you will be slim to none. She'll probably tell all her girlfriends and show them the note, get herself an ego boost but is unlikely to be proactive and call you. Ask her for her number and if she refuses then try for an exchange of numbers. If that still doesn't fly take your rejection like a man.

Some years ago I sat next to an absolutely stunning woman on a flight from Paris to Martinique and I never said a single word to her. To this day I regret it. These days I'd not let those opportunities pass.