not a good day today...

Teddi

Sorry guys, dont mean to have boards as a constant shoulder but I dont know who to go to...

Im sitting in class right now and I feel like I want to pack my stuff and head home...I feel like a complete outsider now, I was doing ok there for a few days now Im back feeling totally crap, I think Ive ran my mile with the councellor and although it did help It would like playing a broken record over and over if I was to consult her again.

I feel like everyone has judged me on this person that Im not. Over the last year ive become very reclusive within the group and now Im getting hugely paranoid over what they think of me. THIS IS NOT WHO I AM! which is the most frustrating thing of all...2 years ago I was this different person...Fit, dressed well, always happy, going out, meeting girls.....Im now the opposite...

the other day I was in a freak insident involving 2 knackers robbing an old lady at the traffic lights up near where I live....they were running at me and My first reaction was just to get out of the way, but I stuck my foot out and tripped up the one with the purse, he freaked out and dropped it then the both of them ran off, I gave the lady her purse back and she was eternally grateful.

That made me happy for the rest of the day, since then Ive been down again on myself? Maybe I should join the police?

I dunno...just ranting a bit here, sorry.

Teddi.

geminilady

hi, my advice would be to think positive look at all the postive things u have in ur life. You're alive, and presumely ur healthy. Alot of people are dying in this world. Well done with the old lady incident u were very brave. Don't put yourself down just appreciate ur talents we can all feel down but you just have to try and pick yourself up again. Good luck teddi : )

Marksie

Hi Teddi,
rant away and discuss your issues itw what PI is for.

the thing i would say is that you are probably much better then you think you are.

The sheer fact of the matter is that the freak incident is a case in point.

and outsider would have looked at that situation, assessed their fear and stepped away.

You didnt. You faced it and took action. That is not the sign of an outseider or someone who should be down on themselves.

Now coming down off a high like that can in itself be a downer..but try to remember that feeling you had... if you can put your self back in that space.

That space where you took action, and helped someone more vulnerable that you.

Its a truism that actions speak louder than words and quality is shown through them

Teddi

Yea, Thanks marksie....I was thinking along those lines alright, trying to obtain that feeling again through other means, doing well in college projects etc, that hand up feeling...

You know when you hear people talk about knowing that they were mean't to do something in their life, like be a huge success, go really far in their career, Im one of those that knows his potential but with my current mental status is not achievable and is having a knock-on effect in other aspects of my life, so I find myself stuck in a viscious circle.

thats the part I find the hardest I think...

Marksie

Teddi wrote: »

Yea, Thanks marksie....I was thinking along those lines alright, trying to obtain that feeling again through other means, doing well in college projects etc, that hand up feeling...

You know when you hear people talk about knowing that they were mean't to do something in their life, like be a huge success, go really far in their career, Im one of those that knows his potential but with my current mental status is not achievable and is having a knock-on effect in other aspects of my life, so I find myself stuck in a viscious circle.

thats the part I find the hardest I think...

I have actually used this little saying already: When asked to move the mountain, dont look at the mountain but pick up the first rock.

Break the circel by changing the simplest of thsoe things. Take pleasure in the smallest fo actions and accept the consequences of poor deicsions as a learning curve.

Everything is a lesson if you choose to read it as such.

Or nothing is a lesson if that is your inclination.

Look at making conscious choices... i wont say positive choiuces, because we all Fcuk up. But make Conscious choices

flibbertyjibbet

I know exactly how you're feeling. Sometimes I feel great for a while, then suddenly I get this really dark bout of low self confidence. Whenever I feel down I think of a saying I picked up somewhere that really reassures me :

"This too will pass"

Just remember that this episode of sadness WILL pass and you WILL feel happy again. Best of luck Teddi

Redpunto

Do you enjoy what you're studying or are you still in school?

Teddi

I do and I dont..lol..

I mean..im very creative, techncially skillful (drawing etc) thats why I do my course, but often I just dont have the passion that one needs to progress it on to a furfilling career which worries me sometimes...

when I work hard. it shows and Im proud of myself..alot of the time I do a half arsed job and then regret not having worked harder at the start, but thats a whole other issue.

ive only one more year to go so I think I can put up with it really..

this year has by far been the most emotional for me, up and down constantly...