Should I quit while I'm ahead?

LegacyUser

Hey all

This is hardly a life-or-death matter but it'd be interesting to hear you opinions. Been talking to this girl online for a few months (since may 07) and after several cancellations on her part we finally met and went for a drink a week or so ago. It went very well and she claims to really like me, yet when I tried to arrange a meet with her last monday she cancelled as a family member was coming home from abroad. Fair enough. We were supposed to meet then on Thursday, but she cancelled again, citing feeling unwell, but being very apologetic and re-iterating that she likes me "a LOT." Getting a bit miffed but still being patient. We are now meeting on Sunday apparently. If she cancels again that's it as far as I'm concerned. Am I being too patient as it is and should cut her loose, or should I give her another chance?

the_syco

For someone who likes you a lot, she seems to be avoiding you a lot more. Let her arrange the next meeting, and go from there. If she doesn't contact you for a week or so, you have your answer.

BloodSugarSex

i hate girls like that, just do what the_syco said, leave it up to her to contact you and if you dont hear anything just forget about her

minidazzler

Once is Probably the truth
Twice is Likely the Truth
Three times is alot like avoidance.

IF she does it again then jusst leave her contact you.

AngryBadger

I'd be inclined to terminate things at this stage. Either

- She's not interested
- She'd totally ignorant
- She's into playing childish head games with fellas

All of which are dumpable offences in my book.

funloving

hedwrecked wrote: »

Hey all

This is hardly a life-or-death matter but it'd be interesting to hear you opinions. Been talking to this girl online for a few months (since may 07) and after several cancellations on her part we finally met and went for a drink a week or so ago. It went very well and she claims to really like me, yet when I tried to arrange a meet with her last monday she cancelled as a family member was coming home from abroad. Fair enough. We were supposed to meet then on Thursday, but she cancelled again, citing feeling unwell, but being very apologetic and re-iterating that she likes me "a LOT." Getting a bit miffed but still being patient. We are now meeting on Sunday apparently. If she cancels again that's it as far as I'm concerned. Am I being too patient as it is and should cut her loose, or should I give her another chance?

maybe she remembered that it was Valentines day and she thought it was better to meet you another day...

tritium

Agree with other posters I'm afraid. A lot of people seem to look at online stuff as harmless stuff, regardless of whether they have other committmentsin the 'real' world. My guess is that she's stringing you along but has no intention of ever letting things go anywhere. You might get the odd meet up just to keep you sweet but I don't think it will ever go anywhere further.

funloving

I don't think she likes you A LOT...or maybe she has a bf and she only wants to chat with you online and decided to meet you every now and then without turning this into a relationship or something more than a flirt...

Stop dancing at the rhythm of her music...

SarahSassy

Maybe she is genuine... You will know by tomorrow. If she doesnt meet tomorrow then I would let her off or at least get rid of any romantic notions you have for her.

LegacyUser

I don't see why you are putting yourself on the line all the time to meet her, why not let her initiate contact/meeting?

You should have let her initiate meeting after she shot you down the very first time..."several times ago!"

Also, your not actually ahead at all as the title suggests...your very much behind...let her contact you and ask to meet up.

TheDriver

Tomorrow is defintely the deciding factor, give her tomorrow as one last chance and then forget about it if it is cancelled, plenty more out there!

Davei141

How far apart are you's?

LegacyUser

Wow! thanks for your responses guys and girls. Ill take all of what you said on board. I think the consensus is to see what happens tomorrow and move from there. Ill wait for her to contact me about tomorrow for sure, although I suspect she may just not. We live on the southside of dublin, albeit southwest and southeast (about 10km) apart.

Princess Helen

I was in a similar situation where I kept having to cancel on a guy. It was just a string of circumstances. The thing is the night I finally was supposed to meet him everything went wrong and I was late. I was really apologetic and then went to the bar to have three guys I used to know well when I worked in a different bar try to chat me up.

The guy thought I was doing it on purpose and I was trying to explain otherwise. Then he launches into a story about how he had been discussing with his secretary as to wether or not to give me a go due to my extremem reluctance to committ. I was a little freaked out as this was only the second date and needless to say it didnt work out.

Hope your situation does though OP. My long winded point was sometime it is just down to circumstances and being busy

estar

say - look dont cancel again, as if you do ill take it
that you dont want this. and see what she says.

maybe shes not ready.

LegacyUser

Yeah true enough. Haven't heard a peep from her today re: tomorrow, so unless she's planning to organise it last minute stylee, i doubt it's happening :-|

Gyalist

The girl doesn't respect you or your time and because you didn't call her on it the very first time it happened she has no reason to stop doing it. Never mind what she says, pay attention to what she does; and that is to treat you with disrespect. Do you think if you were Colin Farrell or whoever she considers a high status man she would treat you like that?

You've invested way too much time and effort on someone who clearly doesn't deserve it. The 8 months or so that you wasted chatting to her online could have been more productively used meeting people in real life.

She already knows that she is the only female interest in your life. That much is clear from your efforts to get her to meet up with you. If you had other options you'd have no need to be chasing after her.

If I were you I'd organise something else for tomorrow and do that instead.

SarahSassy

hedwrecked wrote: »

Yeah true enough. Haven't heard a peep from her today re: tomorrow, so unless she's planning to organise it last minute stylee, i doubt it's happening :-|

Just mark it down to experience.... She may be a good person but she is not treating you well... Let her off and look forward to meeting someone nice in the future...

You did the right thing not calling her. I would make plans to meet friends and if she were to call today I would say I had made plans cos I hadnt heard from her.

wylo

It strikes me that she was stringing you along cause she probably 'kinda' liked you but that was it,she didnt know what she wanted herself and was probably regretting getting involved. No offence to you, it was just her problem thats all.

small

is there a possibility she has a boyfriend/husband?

LegacyUser

I have no way to prove or discount that she has a bf to be honest. totally rotten of her to do that if she does. from what I can see she is totally ignoring me now so she can f**k off. I did absolutely nothing on her, obviously I was just a plaything for a week or two. I feel physically ill now.

LegacyUser

Well,

She cancelled yet AGAIN tonight so I told her thanks but no thanks. Ill still talk to her online if she's on but otherwise I'm staying well clear. I'm kind of upset on the one hand because I really fancied this girl and we got on well but then the oul' need to maintain one's dignity and sense of self-respect kicked in. The reason I didn't get out quicker I think is that I always get way too emotionally overinvested at an early stage, not in a scary way but just I start thinking about the future blah blah blah which I know is not good, but it's me.