Work invite dilemna!!

LegacyUser

Here's the thing, I work for a small company and I would like to invite some of my co-workers to the afters of my wedding.
Because it's a weekday and in a diff county I know most of them won't make it but I would like them to know I want them there but understand that as it is a small company they probably won't be there.
So that's my first dilemna ... will they think I'm just inviting them for the sake of it, knowing full well they won't be able to go or if I don't invite them will they be offended that I didn't?

The second thing is there is one guy I really don't like. And I don't want to invite him, even though I know he wouldn't go. I can't stand him, we don't fight or anything and he's chatty enough to me but I really hate being around him, it's too hard to explain I just know he's a nasty piece of work and I don't want him near my friends and family or even knowing their names. Sounds dark doesn't it!!

There's 3 I would really love to be there, 3 others it would be nice to have but I don't know them that well so not too worried, but they might be offended if I didn't invite them and invited others and then there's that other prat.

So I'm feeling I shouldn't invite any of them just to keep the peace really?
Or should I just ask the 3 I like and ask them to keep it quiet or should I ask them all and pray pratface says no.
I don't want pratface to be the only one not invited as I want to keep the peace as such, we haven't falled out but it really is only a matter of time. I know he wouldn't go or want to go but I don't want him to have something to throw at me it's hard to explain really.

seamus

Well, first off I wouldn't recommend inviting anyone to the afters of a wedding in a foreign country. Purely because of the expense of going abroad, I would say you invite them to the whole wedding or nothing at all. Some people might become offended at you asking them to spend money on flights and hotels just to go to an afters.

If you don't want/can't have them at the full wedding, then maybe organise a small party at home afterwards for those people who couldn't go or who weren't invited.

In terms of who you invite, the kind of person who would be upset at not being invited, is the kind of person you don't want to invite. Unless they're family of course
People know how close they are to you and so won't expect an invite. The best gauge is whether or not you would chat away to them outside of work. Would you ring them on a weekend and organise to go shopping or have a coffee? If not, then why are they being invited to your wedding?

Combining my two things above though and inviting your three good mates to the full wedding could solve both problems. Going to the full wedding means that you're a pretty close friend, so the "nice to haves" and the other guy wouldn't expect to go and wouldn't be offended at not being asked.

LadyJ

Just invite them all and say you understand if they can't take the time off. I'd say only the ones who are closest to you will bother to get the time off and the rest won't be able to so don't sweat it!

LegacyUser

seamus wrote: »

Well, first off I wouldn't recommend inviting anyone to the afters of a wedding in a foreign country. Purely because of the expense of going abroad, I would say you invite them to the whole wedding or nothing at all. Some people might become offended at you asking them to spend money on flights and hotels just to go to an afters.

Sorry, its a different county, not country

But the rest of what you said made good sense, thanks

TequilaMockingBird

If I was you, I would put up an invite on staff noticeboard or something, just an invite to the afters. Then have a word with the people you really want to go, that you would love if they could come. Might keep the peace in work.

jon1981

I wouldnt worry about it, theres a girl in my job in the same boat and i completely undersand her dilemma and nobody has made any comments. Im sure they would understand too in your place. At the end of the day they are still work colleagues not friends and you just have to go with whats important to you. I think inviting no one makes it easier on you, because whatever way you do it you will still have people that will bitch about it, feck them! I think a general invitation to the afters is a good idea.

Dont worry about it and have a nice wedding day