Not accepted by others in Church?

DonnaDarko

I hope this is okay to post here.
I'm 17 years old and I was raised a Christian. When I got to around age 9/10 I always questioned various things, and then I stopped believing in Christ. I found Jesus again in 2007.
I don't really look like your average Christian (not that theres a certain look or anything) I listen to rock music and dress like a rocker type, I guess. I have pink & brown hair and a few facial piercings.
I have only been to church once since 2007 (I prefer to pray at home for this reason) and I got so many bad stares and I felt really uncomfortable. People seem to assume that I am mocking the religion or something? (one girl told me to put my rosary beads away or she would "break my face")
I guess I just want opinions, if you seen a bright pink haired rocker chick in Church, would you react the same?

PDN

DonnaDarko wrote: »

I hope this is okay to post here.
I'm 17 years old and I was raised a Christian. When I got to around age 9/10 I always questioned various things, and then I stopped believing in Christ. I found Jesus again in 2007.
I don't really look like your average Christian (not that theres a certain look or anything) I listen to rock music and dress like a rocker type, I guess. I have pink & brown hair and a few facial piercings.
I have only been to church once since 2007 (I prefer to pray at home for this reason) and I got so many bad stares and I felt really uncomfortable. People seem to assume that I am mocking the religion or something? (one girl told me to put my rosary beads away or she would "break my face")
I guess I just want opinions, if you seen a bright pink haired rocker chick in Church, would you react the same?

Not unusual in our church, to be honest. Why should being a Christian make you want to look boring?

"Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)

philologos

Any threats of violence are ridiculous. I can't believe that people would not tolerate you in a Christlike manner.

DonnaDarko

PDN wrote: »

Not unusual in our church, to be honest. Why should being a Christian make you want to look boring?

"Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7)

Its quite sad.. I have thought about going to a bigger Church (i live in a very small town) but I really think it will just be the same reaction.

I think a lot of people assume alternative-looking people all listen to music that worships Satan and such ,but the truth is most of my favorite bands are Chrisitan rock (flyleaf,the devil wears parada,eisley,underoath etc.) and alot of their music is about Christ

AckwelFoley

I am unlikely to find Jesus any time soon..

but to quote a line from the movie cool runnings..

"Ypu're different, people are always afraid of whats different"

Ignore them and practice your faith how you please.

kelly1

DonnaDarko wrote: »

I hope this is okay to post here.
I'm 17 years old and I was raised a Christian. When I got to around age 9/10 I always questioned various things, and then I stopped believing in Christ. I found Jesus again in 2007.
I don't really look like your average Christian (not that theres a certain look or anything) I listen to rock music and dress like a rocker type, I guess. I have pink & brown hair and a few facial piercings.
I have only been to church once since 2007 (I prefer to pray at home for this reason) and I got so many bad stares and I felt really uncomfortable. People seem to assume that I am mocking the religion or something? (one girl told me to put my rosary beads away or she would "break my face")
I guess I just want opinions, if you seen a bright pink haired rocker chick in Church, would you react the same?

Hello Donna, this is a bit of a sticky situation. People will naturally be judgmental, that's hard to avoid. Is there any way you can tone down your look when in Church to avoid scandal, as they say. Would you rather stay away from church than change your look? I don't know, but I imagine God is not terribly keen on body piercings and shocking pink hair in church. Sorry if this sounds judgmental. I don't mean to be!

Whatever you do, hang on to Christ for dear life!

God bless,
Noel.

AckwelFoley

God is not terribly keen on body piercings and shocking pink hair in church.

Where does "god" say one needs a certain dress code to attend mass?

The doors of the church should be open for all those that wish to worship.

keano_afc

As PDN says, praise God that he looks at the heart. I know a couple of girls in my church would dress similar to you but more Godly girls you couldnt meet. Maybe you could look around for churches with youth orientated activities? Meet some people your age?

Húrin

DonnaDarko wrote: »

I have only been to church once since 2007 (I prefer to pray at home for this reason) and I got so many bad stares and I felt really uncomfortable. People seem to assume that I am mocking the religion or something? (one girl told me to put my rosary beads away or she would "break my face")
I guess I just want opinions, if you seen a bright pink haired rocker chick in Church, would you react the same?

I find this sadly typical. Too many Christians are more interested in their middle-class aesthetic values and keeping company with the "right sort of people" than in Christian values, and keeping company with Christ. Church is a place where welcoming and acceptance should flow without restraint.

If I saw a bright pink haired rocker chick in Church, I might think that she was too obsessed with appearance but this would have no bearing on my behaviour. Christ is for everyone. The Bible is clear about that.

PDN

kelly1 wrote: »

I imagine God is not terribly keen on body piercings and shocking pink hair in church. Sorry if this sounds judgmental. I don't mean to be!

Donna, I think God is absolutely delighted to see someone with body piercings and shocking pink hair coming to church. That's because He loves you.

However, my hair will remain grey.

Nevyn

DonnaDarko I would suggest that you have a chat wit your priest/minister/reverend
about your return to the church and the challenges you are facing.
They may help the situation by choosing certain readings or giving a homily about Jesus'
acceptance of people and how his disciples at first did not understand how his messages were for everyone who opened thier heart to him.

Run_to_da_hills

There is a limit on how someone should attend a Church service, If the person is genuinely seeking the truth and arrives up in died hair covered in tats I could see no problem but if someone arrives at a service purposly dressed up just to take the p**s, it is a different story. The following happened at a Roman Catholic service in SanFransisco and caused uproar. http://www.calcatholic.com/news/newsArticle.aspx?id=5ff71bba-1504-4720-afbb-b3c4fd6a7000

Akrasia

Donna, are you sure they're not just hostile towards you because of your terrible terrible taste in music?

graceface!

DonnaDarko wrote: »

I hope this is okay to post here.
I'm 17 years old and I was raised a Christian. When I got to around age 9/10 I always questioned various things, and then I stopped believing in Christ. I found Jesus again in 2007.
I don't really look like your average Christian (not that theres a certain look or anything) I listen to rock music and dress like a rocker type, I guess. I have pink & brown hair and a few facial piercings.
I have only been to church once since 2007 (I prefer to pray at home for this reason) and I got so many bad stares and I felt really uncomfortable. People seem to assume that I am mocking the religion or something? (one girl told me to put my rosary beads away or she would "break my face")
I guess I just want opinions, if you seen a bright pink haired rocker chick in Church, would you react the same?

Ok first off, I'm delighted to hear that you found your way back to Christ I am so happy for you! I have to say I have plenty of Christian friends, though, that would look much the way you do and it wouldn't bother me at all. What kind of church do you go to? Sorry if you've already said - I haven't read all the posts here! But no, I would say it sounds like your church have a pretty unChristian attitude, really. Not to sound too harsh, but they need to cop on. There isn't a Christian "uniform". As long as your conscience is clear and you know you love God, it's their problem, not yours hun:)

philologos

This is a typical situation where Gandhis quote only comes across too true.
"I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ."

Evolute

Akrasia wrote: »

Donna, are you sure they're not just hostile towards you because of your terrible terrible taste in music?

You be quiet and sit in your corner.

I gotta say if they are looking at you because of the way you look they need to seriously cop on and grow up. Have a chat with the minister and see if this is the first time. I would advise going anyways don't let those jerks stop you from going. If they get aggressive wand go onto get physical get the authorities involved

Doctor DooM

kelly1 wrote: »

Hello Donna, this is a bit of a sticky situation. People will naturally be judgmental, that's hard to avoid. Is there any way you can tone down your look when in Church to avoid scandal, as they say. Would you rather stay away from church than change your look? I don't know, but I imagine God is not terribly keen on body piercings and shocking pink hair in church. Sorry if this sounds judgmental. I don't mean to be!

Whatever you do, hang on to Christ for dear life!

God bless,
Noel.

Why should she have to change to appease other people who aren't listening to the tenets of their faith?

I would take Thaedydal's advice. These people are not practicing what they are preach(ed) OP, and maybe its a good thing you are there to challenge their values slightly.

neuro-praxis

I've got facial piercings and I'm in leadership in the Presbyterian church. I used to have pink hair, too.

I can't say I've never been judged for it (Christian students at inter-university Christian Union conferences were pretty bad) but at church, nobody minds.

I have to say however I do not consider rosary beads or crosses to be fitting jewellery/fashion accessories. But someone wearing one at church wouldn't cause me much heartache.

Maybe the best way to challenge the prejudice of others is to love them in spite of it.

wolfsbane

DonnaDarko wrote: »

I hope this is okay to post here.
I'm 17 years old and I was raised a Christian. When I got to around age 9/10 I always questioned various things, and then I stopped believing in Christ. I found Jesus again in 2007.
I don't really look like your average Christian (not that theres a certain look or anything) I listen to rock music and dress like a rocker type, I guess. I have pink & brown hair and a few facial piercings.
I have only been to church once since 2007 (I prefer to pray at home for this reason) and I got so many bad stares and I felt really uncomfortable. People seem to assume that I am mocking the religion or something? (one girl told me to put my rosary beads away or she would "break my face")
I guess I just want opinions, if you seen a bright pink haired rocker chick in Church, would you react the same?

Hi, Donna.

I would be glad to see you.

I would assume you to be either an unbeliever come to see what the gospel is about, or even a new believer who hasn't yet considered how a Christian should dress.

Is that being judgemental or imposing my own tastes? No, just applying what the Scripture teaches us:
1 Timothy 2:9 in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing, 10 but, which is proper for women professing godliness, with good works.

But I don't expect new converts to know that, so I need to gently lead them to see the standards God requires. It is a general standard, however, and sincere Christians may differ on specifics of what is good and what is not, and patience and kindness is required.

Only blatant disobedience to the Scripture command would require discipline. For example, a very revealing dress, but not a multi-coloured hair-do.

BrianCalgary

Wise words thaed.

When I was teaching 4-5 year olds I had a young gal come in and help from time to time. She was 15, pink hair and a lip ring. One of teh moms commented negatively on thsi girl. I explained to tehmom how great she was with the kids adn she was staying (in my thought I added; and besides none of the moms are sticking their hand to come in and help).

That girl 10 years down theroad is married, a couple of kids and from what I understand from her brother (she lives in Monteeal now) just great.

Keep going maybe your the one that God is using to teach this congregation a lesson in acceptance of all as God's children in need of Christ.

And as Thaed said, maybe a good lesson for the sermon.

Mr. Incognito

Pretty much typical of the church goers who tut tut tut down their noses on everyone else- They really don't get the irony of how unchristian they are by commenting on how unchristian everyone else is.

DonnaDarko

thank you for the comments everyone.

@ kelly1: yes i would rather stay away from church. i believe christ will love me no matter what i look like and i dont think i should change who i am to benefit other people. i dont dress like a crazy person, usually black pants,a white top and black blazer.

@keano_afc: i dont really think they have anything like that here (longford) but ill definitley look into it

@Thaedydal: thats a really good idea, thank you. i have been thinking about getting baptized again so i will have to speak to him about that, and will mention the troubles with the people when i see him

@Run_to_da_hills: i understand that, but i am there for the same reason as every body else..

@Akrasia: who are you to say what i listen to is bad or good..we all have our own likes and dislikes and thats what makes us all interesting..i respect that you may not be interested in it, but i happen to like what i listen to and thats all that matters,thank you very much

@graceface!: thank you im very happy about it too its incredible. the church is my local sunday morning church. thanks for your support

@Evolute: i wish i could be strong enough to go anyways but i feel terribly uncomfortable sitting there and seeing everyone stare at me for the whole 50 mins as if i'm some space alien or something..

@wolfsbane: thanks for your comment. i believe god still loves me despite my clothes.


and thanks to everyone else

Evolute

DonnaDarko wrote: »

thank you for the comments everyone.

@Evolute: i wish i could be strong enough to go anyways but i feel terribly uncomfortable sitting there and seeing everyone stare at me for the whole 50 mins as if i'm some space alien or something..

I can understand this as it would make me uncomfortable aswell.
Is there another church near which you can attend instead?
Either that or actually go up to the people who have the problem with the way you look and confront them about it. All you have to say is why are you looking down on me it will tottally blow them out of the water as they will start to see that you are a normal person your just dressed differently. If they dont atleast you know that they are very narrow minded people which you would not want to be involved with to begin with.

I will be keeping an eye on this thread as I think that they're behaviour is that of a child

Nerin

(one girl told me to put my rosary beads away or she would "break my face")

theyre being hypocrites.
i used to get those looks when i used to go to church when i was younger (kept my grandparents happy )
the priest even noticed pagan jewelry and copped on why i was there and was really cool about it.
generally,when i was younger, the few nice christians i chatted to at the church made up for the idiots staring at me helping with the collection.



i like all the positivity in this thread,im feelin happy now

ps: church needs moar pink haired girls with piercings!!! pope take note,meet my demands and i shall return and help with collections again!(and it'll stop grandpas awkward religion questions when i go home

Popinjay

While not a christian myself, I think the majority of the christian responses to this thread have echoed my own sentiments.

It wouldn't matter to God what you look like in church so the fact that it upsets these people only highlights the immense difference between who they are and who they worship. These people would probably feel very uncomfortable if the unchristian nature of their behaviour was highlighted to them. I wouldn't worry about it OP. You're not there for the approval of that lot, you're there to worship in the way that you feel right.

Excelsior

DonnaDarko wrote: »

I guess I just want opinions, if you seen a bright pink haired rocker chick in Church, would you react the same?

My wife used to be a surprising prospect as she led worship in our Presbyterian church with bright red Lola hair and numerous facial piercings. People expressed surprise, not dismay and they just got on with it.

I echo PDN, echoing 1 Samuel.

Fanny Cradock

I'm sorry to hear that, Donna. It really is a terrible thing for people who profess themselves to be Christians would think to behave in such a way. My only defence towards them would be one of ignorance. They probably associate your clothes and music with Satan himself!

I wouldn't know anything about Churches in Longford, all I could suggest to you would be a few Churches in Dublin (pentecostal/ Evangelical) that have a very young and active congregation, which I would think wouldn't be bothered by such things. Maybe a word with someone in the Church as to the position you find yourself in could help matters.

Soul Winner

DonnaDarko wrote: »

thank you for the comments everyone.

@ kelly1: yes i would rather stay away from church. i believe christ will love me no matter what i look like and i dont think i should change who i am to benefit other people. i dont dress like a crazy person, usually black pants,a white top and black blazer.

@keano_afc: i dont really think they have anything like that here (longford) but ill definitley look into it

@Thaedydal: thats a really good idea, thank you. i have been thinking about getting baptized again so i will have to speak to him about that, and will mention the troubles with the people when i see him

@Run_to_da_hills: i understand that, but i am there for the same reason as every body else..

@Akrasia: who are you to say what i listen to is bad or good..we all have our own likes and dislikes and thats what makes us all interesting..i respect that you may not be interested in it, but i happen to like what i listen to and thats all that matters,thank you very much

@graceface!: thank you im very happy about it too its incredible. the church is my local sunday morning church. thanks for your support

@Evolute: i wish i could be strong enough to go anyways but i feel terribly uncomfortable sitting there and seeing everyone stare at me for the whole 50 mins as if i'm some space alien or something..

@wolfsbane: thanks for your comment. i believe god still loves me despite my clothes.


and thanks to everyone else

Ah yes, 'subjective opinions' they're just like *ssh*les, everyone has one. We worship with the upward look not the horizontal look. Those who see everything in a horizontal frame have taken their eye off the prize and are not fit to judge properly, so don't mind them.

Seems clear to me that you're a pretty level headed 17 year old even if I would differ with you when it comes to music But that's a non issue, whatever turns you on. You just continue on in your journey in faith and never mind the naysayers. The world will always have them, even in the Church. If they had a modicum of the spirit of Christ in them they would in no wise criticise or judge you. Shove your liberty in their faces.

But on the other hand, "Obey those who rule over you (pastors, priests etc), and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account." Hebrews 13:17 brackets added by SW. And if they see a problem with your appearance in the Church then it would be wise to at least listen to what they have to say about it and not to throw all your toys out of the pram in response to them as this will blow your finesse and would mar your maturity. But I suspect they wouldn't have a problem with your appearance as long as the maturity you've show here is reflected in your church attendance.

If you're gonna tone down your image then do it in faith because you genuinely believe it pleases God not for the subjective opinions of those who have to relate to Him on the same basis as you, and that basis is faith.

"…without faith it is impossible to please God," Hebrews 11:6

And if anyone tries to use that old Jezebel line with you because you put make up on your face and colour your hair tell them that she (Jezebel) also looked out of a window, then ask them is that also a bad thing to do?

“When Jezebel heard about it, she painted her eyes, arranged her hair and looked out of a window.” 2 Kings 9:30

Good luck and God bless.