Drink + Me = Fool

LegacyUser

Hi,
Over the years I have normally drank 2-3 nights a aweek but recently have restricted it to once a week. But every month or so I tend to get so drunk that I blackout, do ridiculous things and abuse everyone around me & have a rep as being an idiot in drink. I really do need to shape up or I wont be able to go anywhere.
Anyone any tips on how to give up or moderate. The hard part for me is the thought of the number os stags and trips away planned with the lads for this year and how I could manage to get through them without drink??

tbh

You shouldn't look at it as having to get through something without drinking, because, to be honest, you should be enjoying yourself whether you drink or not. Drinking is a different kind of enjoyment. I don't drink and I always have a great time when I go out, so why do you need to drink when you go out? I'm not having a go, it's a serious question - why is it that you only enjoy youself when you're drinking? The things you do drunk, you wouldn't do sober, because they don't seem like a good idea unless you're drunk. You might feel like you're a little out of the loop because your mates are all drinking and you're not, but trust me, good mates will respect your decision and won't pressure you.

If you are not physically addicted to alcohol, you should be able to stop and still enjoy yourself. The hard part is getting your head straight, and looking at the positives, and maybe changing your perspective can't do anything but help you. I wish you luck whatever you do.

edit: for practical advice, I strongly suggest saying no to the first drink and taking it from there. The first drink is nobbler

Unreg06022008

Unreg06022008 wrote: »

Hi,
Over the years I have normally drank 2-3 nights a aweek but recently have restricted it to once a week. But every month or so I tend to get so drunk that I blackout, do ridiculous things and abuse everyone around me & have a rep as being an idiot in drink. I really do need to shape up or I wont be able to go anywhere.
Anyone any tips on how to give up or moderate. The hard part for me is the thought of the number os stags and trips away planned with the lads for this year and how I could manage to get through them without drink??

Why are you going away with people you despise so much you can't hang around with them unless you're drunk?

Davei141

bluewolf wrote: »

Why are you going away with people you despise so much you can't hang around with them unless you're drunk?

What a load of crap. 2+2 = 54655456.

Well, noone's forcing him to go on holiday with people where he feels he has to drink. I exaggerated to make the point that the whole thing is ridiculous.
Either he says no to drink, or gets help.

Davei141

bluewolf wrote: »

Well, noone's forcing him to go on holiday with people where he feels he has to drink. I exaggerated to make the point that the whole thing is ridiculous.
Either he says no to drink, or gets help.

I agree it is ridiculous, but comments like that are a waste of time. OP lay off the shots and spirits.

Captain Slow IRL

Ya, stay away from shots - they are just dangerous. Stick to pints, and take your time, it's not a race.

Strokesfan

OP I don't think alcohol itself is particularly the problem for you. It sounds like you are being self-destructive when you do drink.

This is surely caused by some issues you have with yourself, be it low self-esteem, social anxiety or some other issue.

I could be wrong but you might have to look at the underlying causes first. Drink doesn't agree with everyone especially if you have some self-loathing issues of your own to deal with already. In the meantime really really try to incredibly strict with yourself like sticking to bottles, not drinking too fast, alternating it with non-alcoholic beer like becks so no-one notices and gives you grief.

fuzzywiggle

Are you drinking more than your friends? Sounds like you are. If so just go along with their pace and if they're not going too mad you should be fine!

Barlow07

Unreg06022008 wrote: »

HBut every month or so I tend to get so drunk that I blackout, do ridiculous things and abuse everyone around me & have a rep as being an idiot in drink.

OP i would imagine most boardies have in some point have done the same once or twice. I would recommend staying of spirits altogether if you drink them and if your drink pints or pint bottles of cider, just buy the long neck bottles of beer or cider and stick to that, its very hard, but if you really are serious and make the effort it may work in the long run, also dont bring a load of money with you.

LegacyUser

Barlow07 wrote: »

OP i would imagine most boardies have in some point have done the same once or twice. I would recommend staying of spirits altogether if you drink them and if your drink pints or pint bottles of cider, just buy the long neck bottles of beer or cider and stick to that, its very hard, but if you really are serious and make the effort it may work in the long run, also dont bring a load of money with you.

I do tend to stick to Bottles but then I carried away and start shots etc. It doesn't happen every single time I have a drink but it does happen too often and when it does its not pretty involving general messiness and sometimes aggro. Its not a case of every time I have a drink I get out of it completely but as I said it happens enough. I travel a lot with work and am able to have a couple of beers & relax with dinner etc, but if I start early in the day in my local like for a match on TV at w/ends I will usually end up in a bit of a state. Even when I go away for the w/end with the lads I am usually able to control myself. But for some reason when I am drinking locally & go over a certain threshold I seem to lose the ability or the will to stop, maybe there is a self destruct thing going on that lies deep and maybe at the root of this problem drinking. Over 10 years it has cost me a lot in terms of money, days at work, self-respect & confidence and reputation.

Mickswizard

Unreg06022008 wrote: »

Hi,
Over the years I have normally drank 2-3 nights a aweek but recently have restricted it to once a week. But every month or so I tend to get so drunk that I blackout, do ridiculous things and abuse everyone around me & have a rep as being an idiot in drink. I really do need to shape up or I wont be able to go anywhere.
Anyone any tips on how to give up or moderate. The hard part for me is the thought of the number os stags and trips away planned with the lads for this year and how I could manage to get through them without drink??

You are EXACTLY the same as me. I quit 2 years and 2 months ago and never looked back.

Teddi

well OP,

literally taking the very last line you typed "how could I manage to get through them without drink?"

that tells me that you can't enjoy yourself without being under the influence, that you need to be intoxicated to have a good time, usually connected to low confidence, low self esteem? you suffer from anything like that?

I think finding out your core problem will help you here, I dont think the problem is your drinkng, but your mental well being.This could be looked into maybe?

just a thought,

Teddi

brokensoul

Hey there,

Your problem may not be drink, but it aint helping!

I have a very good friend who is not an alcoholic but who used to get violent and agressive with drink in him. He gave up drinking and is flying since. Tis worth thinking of doing it short terms anyway.

Secondly, as an alcoholic who hasnt had a drink in almost 6 months i can tell you for certain that people notice and/or about you not drinking far less than you think.

If you are any bit religious then you could tell them that you are off the drink for lent. After that you can tell them that you felt so good during lent while off it that you have decided to abstain for a bit longer. You could tell them that you have an ulcer or are on medication. Or you could tell them the truth "Lad, i dont think it agrees with me so im giving it a break for a few months"

Best of luck

K_P

It's hard to know just from your post OP, but it sounds like you don't necessarily have a drink problem, just that you don't know your limits once you start drinking. I think we've all been there once or twice. I know I have and the shame and regrets the following day are worse than even the hangover.

You know yourself what your limits are so plan beforehand to stick to that amount. Don't let things drag on so that before you know it you're locked and that bottle of tequila behind the bar is calling out to you! To quote the ad, know the one that's one too many. Good luck.

Mr. Incognito

hmmmmmmm do you drink shorts?

If so- stay away- I'm a muppet on whiskey but fine on beer.

echosound

If you want to break the cycle of getting hammered in a pub, why don't you try driving and being the designated driver for your mates for a while, it will break the habit of having to have an alcoholic drink in a pub, and you'll find it's actualy quite easy after the initial visit or two to not have the hankering for an alcoholic drink, and be able to enjoy yourself out with just soft drinks or a coffee.
I would have been a bit like yourself, couldn't envisage being in a pub without having a pint or a mixed spirit, but when I started driving, I decided to be a designated driver for some nights out and it broke the habit so quickly you wouldn't believe. Now when I go to a pub (not often at all nowadays mind you, normally in early evening for a quiet chat and home before 8pm), it's almost second nature to me to order a coffee or a soft drink even if I'm not driving.

If you feel you absolutely must have a few drinks on nights out, try alternating a beer with a pint of water or a soft drink to slow yourself down. It seems that your problem lies with betting a bit drunk, then as a result of impaired judgement you think ah to hell with it I'll have a few shots and end up wrecked. Try to work it so that you don't get that drunk by pacing yourself.

As for the stags etc, you can of course have a few drinks, but will anyone really notice if you're taking it handy, or alternating between alcohol and soft drinks (if that's what you're worried about). I know sometimes people will rib you for having a 7-up or coke, but after the initial ribbing, people will just move on and not think twice about it. Just say it's part of a new healthy regime that you're trying at the moment, or that you are sick of the hangovers the next morning and want to enjoy a few drinks without ruining the entire next day.

Good advice from brokensoul on this point. I know a chap who's given up drink as a new year's resolution, and after the initial disbelief (he wasn't a particularly outrageous drinker, but would enjoy his few pints when out) people don't give it a second thought now, and he's feeling a million times better as he didn't realise how badly the small amounts of drink was making him so sluggish every day. He's also lost a good bit of weight, which he had been finding hard to shift through diet and exercise, so that's another plus to consider if there's a hint of a beer belly starting on you

mountain

Over 10 years it has cost me a lot in terms of money, days at work, self-respect & confidence and reputation.[/QUOTE]

Ah come on now, its taken you ten years to realise this!!!

Give up the drink completly for 3 months, then evaluate how your self respect, confidence and reputation are then. Im sure they will be a lot better.

Dont decide to just have a few drinks, because as well all know, once you start at all, its harder to stop.

DublinWriter

Hi OP,

To be honest, your consumption of alcohol doesn't seem all that bad - 1/2 bottle of wine on Friday and 1 bottle of wine on Saturday.

Are you sure this is all you drink?

What is it exactly you don't like about your behaviour when drunk?

LegacyUser

DublinWriter wrote: »

Hi OP,

To be honest, your consumption of alcohol doesn't seem all that bad - 1/2 bottle of wine on Friday and 1 bottle of wine on Saturday.

Are you sure this is all you drink?

What is it exactly you don't like about your behaviour when drunk?

Hi,
OP here, I think you must have my post confused with someone elses. If I was to start drinking on a Friday night I could be still going Sun or Mondays, this doesn't happen as much these days but when I go out I do on occassion end up completely pissed and a coplete knob. Generally when completely pissed I say the most outlandish things & can become abusive, threatening & agrro. As a young kid I witnessed (or hid away/ignored) violence from my father towards my mother when he would return from the pub drunk. There would be tension when he would return home and did on occassion end in extreme violence. I never mentioned this to anyone as a kid but have been told that over the last year or so I have referred to it when very drunk though I have no recollection of mentioning it. My father is dead now. I am in my 30's now and despite having had G/Fs I have never (thankfully) used physical violence though I could be a prick towards them when drunk. Is it possible that these things are linked or maybe I am someone who just should never drink? Maybe if I spoke to someone about my childhood experiences it may relieve some of the anger or the need to get pissed???