All I have to fear is fear itself

LadyJ

Ok, so there's still no go with the phobia forum so I suppose PI is the most appropriate place for this for now. I have been utterly terrified of flying for the past few years. The last time I got on a plane was about two years ago. I had a severe panic attack that lasted the duration of the flight (four hours), accompanied by vomitting and general terror. It was, without a doubt, the most horrendous experience of my life.

Since then my fear of flying has pretty much ruined my life. I have felt so restricted and frustrated with myself. I swore I would never get on a plane again so as not to put myself through such an ordeal.

Recently I read Allen Carr's "The easy way to enjoy flying". It didn't completely remove my fear (I guess I'm just not that suceptable to things like that) but it has made me a bit more confident about flying and I have learned a lot about how planes work which has reassured me a bit more that my plane isn't just going to burst into flames for no apparent reason!

So anyway, I've been in quite a positive frame of mind since reading the book and quite excited about getting out of the country. I am going to Helsinki in June, Marrakesh in August and possibly even Birmingham in a couple of weeks. However, there is still a part of me (a part that I'm trying not to listen to) that's telling me it isn't so sure about all of this.

Basically, I'm terrified that my fear is still there. Terrified that as soon as the doors close I'm going to freak out and start panicking and crying. I'm terrified of feeling that amount of fear again. If I have truly conquered my fear then I will be so proud of myself and generally just delighted but what if I haven't? What the hell am I going to do? I've committed to all of these trips now (well mostly) and I'm really excited but I just don't want to freak out again!


Not sure what I'm really looking for here. Support I suppose. I dunno, it's just so weird to think you might be over your fear but also to be worried that it will come back(or still be there) at the wrong time!

biko

Fly a short hop to another town in Ireland? This way you'll know now and also it'll only last 30 mins. Mind, smaller planes can be nosier than big ones.

Lawless_Samurai

I feel for you LadyJ. That doesn't sound pleasent at all. However it sounds like you've taken real positive steps in preperation to facing your fear. Take comfort in that and in the end the only way I find to conquor fear is to confront it. I'm afraid of heights so I go climbing from time to time. Scares the hell outta of me but feel a millions times better afterwards.


Anyways wish ya the best of luck!!!:)

Mazeire

Hi OP, you are going to some great places you will have such an amazing time. I'm really scared of flying as well. I take a couple of valium but i know that this doesn't work for everyone. I also find Bach's rescue remedy quite helpful and also to focus on where I am going and the amazing things i'm going to do/see there. Try to see the plane journey itself as a means to an end. It might also be useful to talk to the flight crew and to let them know you are nervous and ask hem to keep an eye on you.

Colonel_McCoy

Fear of flying has been proven to be directly linked to control issues

Dizzyblonde

There used to be a course you could do in Dublin Airport to help you overcome fear of flying. I'd imagine it's still running, and it might be worth doing. You could also try hypnosis.

LadyJ

Dizzyblonde wrote: »

There used to be a course you could do in Dublin Airport to help you overcome fear of flying. I'd imagine it's still running, and it might be worth doing. You could also try hypnosis.

That course costs €350 or so. Plus, I think I'm actually over this, it's just my fear of the fear.

AngryBadger

biko wrote: »

Fly a short hop to another town in Ireland? This way you'll know now and also it'll only last 30 mins. Mind, smaller planes can be nosier than big ones.

That's actually a brilliant suggestion! +1

Elessar

I had a similar problem. I always used to enjoy flying, loved it even. However I got into a cessna a while back, for the fifth time or so, and for whatever reason once the instructor took off I started feeling terrible panic coming on. It lasted a few minutes only but after I landed I was terrified that it would happen again on a different plane.

I went to Scotland a few weeks ago and was absolutely dreading the flight because I was afraid I would freak out again. But before the flight I took a sheet of paper and wrote down several reasons why I dont need to be afraid. Things like
"I will be perfectly safe, it's safer than driving!"
"The door CAN actually be opened in flight (but there's no need to)"
"It's only hour or less from getting on to getting off"
"It's just like a bus, hop on then hop off!"
etc.

I read over these points through and through and did some exercise a few days before the flight. Suprisingly I was absolutely fine on the plane, both going over and coming back! Completely relaxed! I actually enjoyed it again!

I completely conquered my fear. You can too. Just repeat over that "Whatever happens, given any situation, I can handle it". Try reading the book "Feel the fear but do it anyway". Remember, it's just like taking a bus!

Good luck. This CAN be conquered.

L31mr0d

AngryBadger wrote: »

That's actually a brilliant suggestion! +1

++1

To the OP I wouldn't book a holiday before confirming whether your fear is gone or not. Like was said, book a short hop to somewhere in Ireland or even a cheap Ryanair flight to Stansted.

You also need to accept its natural to have a healthy fear of flying. 3 generations ago no human in the history of this planet had seen above the clouds yet now we all take it for granted.

I'm a firm believer in living my life by the law of averages, and on average its very unlikely that anything will go wrong while flying

CoolSmileyGuy

Hi OP,

I'm actually the same, the only way I deal with it though is through multiple double vodka's before boarding followed by a G&T in flight.

Possibly not the best way of doing things, but its what works for me.

jdivision

If you're going a half decent journey take a sleeping pill. That's what most people I know of who are afraid of flying do.

Aran61

jdivision wrote: »

If you're going a half decent journey take a sleeping pill. That's what most people I know of who are afraid of flying do.

Yeah some valium really knocks the edge off.

Beruthiel

jdivision
Aran61
This is not a medical forum so please do not recommend taking drugs.
B

Overheal

Its the fear of the unknown. You're scared the plane is going to burst into flames or the wings are going to shear off due to turbulence because you havent been educated about such things.

Discovery Wings is one of the best channels to learn though - saw a clip on there of them testing the stress tolerance of the wings - those things can comfortably bend about 25 degrees in either direction with no hassle - far, far more than you would ever experience in flight. The sheer amount of redundancy built into them is ridiculous.

Another good thing is to watch the Air Disasters show - I always watch it before I go flying for some reason: you watch this plane crash or burst into flames and then they spend the next 45 minutes explaining how it happened. Then you end up thinking to yourself that the odds of these things happening is stupidly low - you have more chance of getting killed in the car on the way to the airport.

Edutain yourself. I did. Then there was one time our plane flew into a thunderstorm. Some people were panicky - with what I knew about planes however I just kept calm and, it was totally worth it: lightning strikes up in the thick of it, are just really beautiful to watch. Landed without a bother.

EDIT: and yeah in the last few years flying has gotten cramped cheap and unbearable... a chore but like others have said, a necessary evil.

WindSock

I used to love flying but over the last year or two, I become more edgy. I don't know why this is now, as I've flown heaps and there was never any problems. It's probably because I am getting bigger and plane seats are getting more and more uncomfortable, I no longer look forward to the journey and want it to end quicker, so maybe thats why I start thinking 'oh what if...' It's not so bad on long-haul, if I am on a half empty plane, and have my own telly. I make sure to bring my gameboy along now, so I keep distracted.

little lady

I also have a fear of flying although not as bad as you, It doesn't stop me flying I'm just afraid for the whole flight and do as much as posibble to distract myself such as read a really good book or watch every film they have one after the other.

Why not bring the Allen Carr book on the flight with you and re-read it on the flight!!

watna

Hi LadyJ, I think I've spoken to you before in another thread about how I have a fear of flying. It's got a lot better over the past few years. The worst it was at was a few years ago when I used to sit for an hour before flights thinking will i walk away now, you don't have to get on etc

What it comes down to for me, is self-control. I hate flying but love travelling so I started to just think of it as a necessary evil. I still feel panicky at take-off and landing and still get very upset during turbulence but I've always been able to talk myself around. It sounds like you're on the right track and are trying to do something about it. I promise you thinking like that does help. I'm terrified about my long flight to NZ in a few months but try not to think about that part of it, just of getting there. If I let fear take over then I'd be stuck here and there would ne no adventuring!

I think you'll be fine because you want so badly to be fine. You want to go to these places and not to let your fear stop you from enjoying yourself. The more you tell yourself that the less panicky you'll feel.

geuro

Colonel_McCoy wrote: »

Fear of flying has been proven to be directly linked to control issues

Is this supposed to shed some light on the root of LadyJs fear of flying?

What is this 'issues' word? What is a 'control issue'? Does it reveal something that is repressed deep in LadyJs subconscious? Is it helpful? Is this some sort of a pseudo psychoanalytic statement?

golfgirl

Fear of flying is very common now, as you can see from this thread. You sound like a very strong, sensible person, and have taken great steps to overcoming your fear. Well done. I think that you'll be just fine, but why not, as a back up plan, go to your GP who could prescribe you something to take in the event that your panic reappears. Whilst taking medication won't stop the thoughts going away, they do relax you. I think just knowing you have a Plan B will keep the anxieties of flying at bay. All the best to you.

LadyJ

Thanks for all the support guys.

biko et al, the flight to Birmingham is only around 45 minutes so I think I'll start off with that. Hoping to go in a couple of weeks. Just hope I don't freak out.

McSween

birmingham flight sounds like a brilliant idea. you'll have taken off and landed before you know it.

if you ever saw one of the programmes on the 11th sept attacks, you may have seen the amount of planes on the radar in usa alone....they were all over the radar. that is the case everyday, but luckily we hardly ever hear of a crash, there or anywhere else.

i'm personally fascinated by planes, always have been.

jesus_thats_gre

LadyJ wrote: »

I am going to Helsinki in June,

Helsinki is dope!!

Lollipops23

hey OP!

i know what you mean when you say the fear of the fear....but honestly the only way is just doing it and getting it out of the way. Many people don't "enjoy" flying ever,but at least you might be able to get through it in some level of comfort.
Have you seen a doc about maybe getting some calmers?a woman i work with talkes a valium before getting on plane and swear by it.