Confused T Girl

ConfusedTLady

Evening....

I am not sure if I am even posting this in the right place but I am at a loose end right now.

I turned 30 last week and ever since I was young I have never felt I was who I should be.

It's so difficult to describe or even talk about and I have lost so many people because of who I am.

I don't know what I am. I was born a boy but I have always felt and wished that I was female.

It's not even a sexual desire as at the moment I feel attracted to both sexes but I don't even think about that now.

I just think I can't live this life anymore, lies, deceit, hurt.

I would love some advice but I don't know where to look for it. I'm almost scared to take that big step into admitting to myself that I can do this, that I'm ready.

Is there any support groups, people who I can talk to for people like me.

I have came to the end of the line now I think.

Thanks so much

Nevyn

http://www.teni.ie/

ransgender Equality Network Ireland - Home
Who are TENI?

The Transgender Equality Network Ireland (TENI) is a voluntary organisation set up to support Transgendered and Transsexual people throughout Ireland . Our aim is to represent the needs and best interests of all those with gender identity issues in Ireland .

TENI is dedicated to promoting positive awareness about transsexuality (medically known as ‘Gender Identity Disorder') and to improving conditions and advancing equality for all Transsexual and Transgender people in Ireland . On our own and liaising with a variety of community organisations, we work toward this goal by overseeing support meetings, offering education and sensitivity training, and organising social events, workshops and courses, and much more.

New members are always welcome and we encourage Transgender people, Transsexuals, friends, partners, family and anyone with a real commitment to Irish Trans issues to join TENI.

TENI also have support groups which are listed on the website.

ConfusedTLady

I have looked at the site. I don't know if it helps me. I'm just terrified of taking that first step, walking outside dressed as a lady and not caring what people think.

I wish it was easier. I wish I was living in a society where this didn't matter, where I was accepted for who I am sure I am.

It frightens me so much now

Is there anyone here who has experienced coming out - I believe it is more than "just being gay" There is so much more to take in.

Thank you though for that link - I will study it more

Nevyn

http://community.livejournal.com/newtrans/profile

There is a community section ther eon lj for those who are starting the coming process.

User: newtrans (819609)

Flag Journal

(no userpics)
Name: new trans community
E-mail: edited by mod
About: This is an open community for all transpersons who feel like they are just starting out on the road to transition. Wherever they are starting out they are welcome here.
Friends, Family, and Significant Others are more than welcome as well.

This is a place for you to come with questions, and to get support and advice. Please be respectful of everyone.

And this is the gnderal community there.
http://community.livejournal.com/transgender/profile

As for going out dressed as you wish, it depends on where you go.
Certian places and event with alternate types to go there may be more accepting then regular places.

The likes of Dominion ( goth club held weekly in dublin ) and Nimeah ( bdsm fetish night ) someone dressing alternativly would not cause such a stirr nor would it in the likes of the front lounge or the george.

A friend of mine managed his first outing in girl clothes with the suport of two friends this weekend in Fibbers.

What do you mean as being dressed as a lady ? in female clothes or feminine clothes ?

I am female my clothes are female ( due to my body shape ) but I would consider jeans/combats and long sleve tshirts as feminine clothing like a skirt/dress, tights and heels.

You could start subtly altering what you tend to wear instead of giving yourself a shock by first trying on a pink frock.

SassyGirl_1

Hiya,

Give James a call - contact details - just ring him up and make an appointment. He can help you sort out your head.

If you decide to take that first step - and the first step is the worst - but it's honestly not as bad as you image it's going to be - there's a general suggested Transition Guide on the GIDI website as well which gives you an idea of all the different steps you really should take if you want to get by.

If you want just drop me a PM and I can fill you in on more.

Later,

Ck.

ConfusedTLady

Hey

Thanks again for your replies. I am going to give going out a try - maybe when I'm away from my general area.

I am pretty sure what I am feeling is right but not having tried it much I am still confused so I need to sort things out before I consider everything.

I will give James a call - I guess even that is fearful - It's like starting school again or something, all these pent up feelings, nerves etc

Thanks Sassy for offering your help and letting me contact you and Thaedydal (I needed to look 3 times to spell that right) for your links and advice

Although it might seem nothing to you it's loads of info for me and I appreciate it.

X

SassyGirl_1

No problem. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.

Ck.

Selkies

I've heard about teni, must look them up...

Good luck!

Cool nickname btw!

ConfusedTLady

Thanks again BTW

I was down in Cork this weekend and did venture out down to the hotel bar in my "dress-up"

While I was completely nervous during the whole episode when I went upstairs and changed I felt amazing. I felt I could be anyone and it was such a relief.

I had a wee cry and then the make-up was ruined.

I am not sure if people thought WTF or if they didn't realsie but nothing was said and no comments or sniggers were passed.

This little step has helped me a lot - I am definitely going to give him a call this week, I think and hope that I am now ready and not still on my "buzz"

Thanks again all

x