shes trying to phase me out

LegacyUser

My friend and i are 22 i have known her since we were 15, met in school, dated the same guy (whos shes not engaged to) im engaged too and we all get on fab were all best mates.

Latley ive a feeling shes trying to phase me out though. Over christmas i was out a lot and always invited her out but she never came, then shed go out n not invite me out which is fair enough but when she did ask me out and i couldnt(cos of work/money etc) shed call me boring

i have moved into a new flat with the fella and invited the two of them over three times since we moved in 2 weeks ago and the always say no. Im after finding out she goes out to another friends house most nights and this friend lives 20 miles away and i only live across the town

Again tonight i asked them over and they said ah no we are having a quiet night in, then she text me (by acc) saying "well ill meet u in O Briens at 9"

So she is going out but lied and said she was staying in to avoid coming over.I dont know whats happening i feel like shes trying to phase me out

Balmed Out

confront her...

Toots

Balmed Out wrote: »

confront her...

+1, the only way you'll find out is by just asking her out right what's going on

spinandscribble

confronting her is the only thing you can do

MagicMarker

boards.ie wrote:

My friend and i are 22 i have known her since we were 15, met in school, dated the same guy (whos shes not engaged to) im engaged too and we all get on fab were all best mates.

Latley ive a feeling shes trying to phase me out though. Over christmas i was out a lot and always invited her out but she never came, then shed go out n not invite me out which is fair enough but when she did ask me out and i couldnt(cos of work/money etc) shed call me boring

i have moved into a new flat with the fella and invited the two of them over three times since we moved in 2 weeks ago and the always say no. Im after finding out she goes out to another friends house most nights and this friend lives 20 miles away and i only live across the town

Again tonight i asked them over and they said ah no we are having a quiet night in, then she text me (by acc) saying "well ill meet u in O Briens at 9"

So she is going out but lied and said she was staying in to avoid coming over.I dont know whats happening i feel like shes trying to phase me out

Maybe she doesn't want to double date with a girl who dated a fiance, is that so hard to understand?

Chinafoot

MagicMarker wrote: »

Maybe she doesn't want to double date with a girl who dated a fiance, is that so hard to understand?

Well yeah, it is. Why is this only an issue for her now? From the opening post it would appear that the four of them had been great friends. Why all of a sudden is she being phased out?

Besides, surely the friend dated this guy after the OP, something that a lot of people would take issue with....unwritten rules and all that rubbish. It obviously didn't have any adverse affect on their friendship so again the question should be asked...why now?

OP, if it were me I'd confront her. I'd keep that text message and calmly sit her down and ask her what's going on. If she refuses to meet with you and continues her behaviour then, as hard as it is, I would let her go. If she can't even show you enough respect to be honest with you about what is going on then you really don't need her.

Jack B. Badd

Chinafoot wrote: »

Well yeah, it is. Why is this only an issue for her now? From the opening post it would appear that the four of them had been great friends. Why all of a sudden is she being phased out?

Besides, surely the friend dated this guy after the OP, something that a lot of people would take issue with....unwritten rules and all that rubbish. It obviously didn't have any adverse affect on their friendship so again the question should be asked...why now?

Maybe the OP's mate made an attempt initially to try to get over it and act as if things were normal and has now decided that that isn't possible.
On the other hand maybe it's got nothing to do with the guy.
I notice the OP hasn't included in her post any potential reasons for being "phased out". I'm not saying it's exclusively the OP's fault but these things usually don't happen because someone wakes up in the morning and just decides for the hell of it to ignore their mates. Any recent blow-ups/tiffs/etc., OP?

Black Swan

Talk to your friend and ask what's happening? Without a face-to-face, all you will get here is guessing.

dannydiamond

Just ask her!