Lies your mother told you

roy123456789

I'll see............. every time i asked her for anything!
Eat yer cabbage it'll put hairs on your chest!.... I'm still hairless ma!
Eat yer Carrots you'll be able to see in the dark!

Spook_ie

Maybe she never ate any carrots herself, thats why she always said "I'll see....":rolleyes:

S.I.R

lies my mother told you....


" im your real mother "...

cee_jay

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2055224364

kizzyr

roy123456789 wrote: »

I'll see............. every time i asked her for anything!
Eat yer cabbage it'll put hairs on your chest!.... I'm still hairless ma!
Eat yer Carrots you'll be able to see in the dark!

I used to get that one too, given that I'm a girl its rather worrying that she actually wanted me to grown hair on my chest. :eek:
That eating the crusts on my bread would make my teeth straight and strong.
That when I told a lie I got a black spot on my tongue that only a mother could see and it proved that I was lying.
If we were bold a lot she used to say that Mrs Maguire from the Hill of Mullah (is there even such a place??) would come in her red van to take us away.

martin84

My mam told me the mark on my face was an "Angels Kiss", as it turns out the dozy cow dropped me when she was preggers and now im scarred for life

GhostInTheRuins

To stop me wanting chewing gum she told me they made it out of rats tails :eek:

Cheeky_gal

My mum always let on she was 3 years older than she actually was so that when it came to her 50th she could actually tell us that she was actually 53 so we couldn't throw her a big 50th! Bummer!


:rolleyes:

dlofnep

She swapped my goldfish after it died, expecting me not to notice.. Replacing my goldie with this kinda gold and white fella.

"Here ma, where's me goldfish?"

"He's there John.. Look at him!"

"Yeah bu' he's gold and white!"

"Yeah, he changes colours just like your hot wheels cars"

John Mason

Eating crust makes your hair curly - considering my dad had an afro, it was kind of a given i would have curly hair

eating chewing gum, would make your teeth crooked and if you swallowed it, it would wrap its self around your ribs and you would die

we will love you more when the new baby comes

Mint Sauce

roy123456789 wrote: »

Eat yer cabbage it'll put hairs on your chest!.... I'm still hairless ma!

you must not have ate enough then

my personal favourate

dont pull that face, if the wind changes, you'll stay like that

Tobias Greeshman

"If you keep turning up your nose like that, you could stay like that."

"If you watch that television any longer you'll have square eyes." - Eh! how exactly, seeing as there the same shape as anyone eles's, I don't think the tv is going to mutate them???

Duff

That if you hold your piss in too long your eyes turn yellow...

4zn76tysfajdxp

Santy

RoyalMarine

dlofnep wrote: »

She swapped my goldfish after it died, expecting me not to notice.. Replacing my goldie with this kinda gold and white fella.

"Here ma, where's me goldfish?"

"He's there John.. Look at him!"

"Yeah bu' he's gold and white!"

"Yeah, he changes colours just like your hot wheels cars"

LOL john ur mad u are.

Kold

wiki wrote:

Carrots do contain Beta-carotene, which is converted to vitamin A in the small intestine. Vitamin A is a precursor to the protein Rhodopsin, a component of the rods (a photoreceptor cell) in the Retina that is very sensitive to light. Vitamin A helps to maintain healthy bones, but the carrots do not contain enough calcium to make any significant difference. This tale started in the Second World War when the British spread a rumour that their plane spotters were eating carrots to give them improved vision, concealing the truth about the invention of radar. Also the night fighter ace John Cunningham (21 kills) who was an early proponent of airborne radar in his Bristol Beaufighter, was nicknamed "Cat's Eyes" and alluded to have exceptional night vision because of his carrot eating

Hmm I seem to remember my Biology teacher saying that carotene actually did benefit night vision.

phasers

"you're special"

Kiki_

You only get pregnant if you marry the right person.

FunkZ

Aye I was told the one about carrots. Feck off ma!

AlmightyCushion

roy123456789 wrote: »

Eat yer cabbage it'll put hairs on your chest!

Are you sure they weren't growth hormones she was feeding you?

togster

That you can get aids and die if you play kiss catch in school :eek:

ejmaztec

That every bad child gets locked in a cupboard for three days, so stop whining.

Here_Young_Wan

Both my parents use to tell me when they suspected me of telling a lie to stick out my tounge because if I lied there would be a black mark on it to try and get me to slip up and admit to it.
My Da also use to tell me he would send me away to boarding school if I was bold was terrified of that.

dresden8

I'll mind your communion money.

csk

Santa was real
God was real
Ireland was real
that not being able to taste cucumbers was my fault not hers :rolleyes:

Ballerina

dresden8 wrote: »

I'll mind your communion money.

hahaha

the idea for this thread was so taken from the adrian kennedy phone show...i swear i don't listen to that sh*t...im just guessing....*cough*

Lockstep

Here_Young_Wan wrote: »

My Da also use to tell me he would send me away to boarding school if I was bold was terrified of that.

Mine did that up until I was 15.



Ma's lies:


You need a driving licence to hold a shopping trolley.
That if someone under 18 touches a car buttoon the car would burst into flames (the amount of times I was in the car alone outside Superquinn, frozen in fear,too scared to exhale through my mouth in case my movement set something odd)
That sugar gives you worms

Red Hand

That I was a was a brave soldier when I got a cut on my knee.:(

Also Starring LeVar Burton

My mother still tells me my eyes will go square if I sit too close to the tv/computer screen and I'm in my twenties. I guess somethings never change.

Other lies I was told;

"If you don't study in school, you won't get into college." (I proved her wrong)
"It's Chicken." (It was a f**king Duck and I damn well knew it)
"I'm just going into the shops to get milk and bread. I'll only be five minutes, you can stay in the car." (An hour later she'd return with a trolley full of groceries)
"I don't smoke." (It was bloody obvious)
"I'll send you to live with your father, if you're not careful." (I actually believed that one for years, and it kept me on my best behaviour)
"You can't eat meat on Good Friday, it's illegal." (16 years I had to eat bloody fish once a year. She didn't care that even the smell of fish made me sick)
"If you don't eat a hot meal every day, your stomach will freeze." (Thank God, that wasn't true)
"If you don't clean your room once a week, you'll attract rats." (I almost never clean my room anymore and I've never had rats)
"Go to sleep, you'll never be able to get up in the morning." (I get up early every morning now just to prove her wrong on this, even if I have nowhere to go and even though I only got in at 6am)

Lockstep

CaptainNegative wrote: »

"If you don't eat a hot meal every day, your stomach will freeze." (Thank God, that wasn't true)

Wish my ma told me that.

The amount of times she would fulfil her matriarchal duties by chucking an apple at me saying it was a good meal.

dresden8

"I'll send you to the Artane Boys Band."

I always used to wonder why these alleged scummers always got to play at major events.

TedMaulReports

martin84 wrote: »

My mam told me the mark on my face was an "Angels Kiss", as it turns out the dozy cow dropped me when she was preggers and now im scarred for life

That's a bit weird. When she dropped you was she pregnant with you or one of your siblings? I'm guessing the latter but either way, it's a weird thing to say.

pipsqueak

We were told that whenever the ice cream van came around our estate that if he was playing music it meant he had run out of ice cream!

All damn lies!!