What did i do wrong?

babydoll2008

Was meeting a guy since last feb, it was off and on, off more than on now then. We slept together for the first time back in april, i was a virgin so ya he was my first.

For the summer i was in england and we kept in touch with the odd text. i used come over once or twice a month and we used meet up and slept together each time. everything was going good. came home in september and we met up again a night. same in october/november and december. i met him at the start of dec and told him i wanted to stop this whole meeting every now and then and that it was like a booty call [which is was when i look back over it!] he said we would give a relationship a go. two weeks later it was the same crap again so i decided it would be best just to let it go for once and for all.

But then i find out my period was late. i decided to text him and tell him and he said its prob cause your stressed out. two weeks later he texts again and i was still late. i was also sick over christmas so i just put it down to that, but two weeks ago i discovered that i was actually pregnant at the time and thats why i was late but i only found that out when i had a miscarriage. I told him. and all i got was o right. he never asked how i was, how i was coping, was i ok or even came to see me....nothing....i've gone through hell in the past two weeks due to complications and other crap. i've had to go through this without him, my friends are really worried cause i'm hardly eating but i just dont feel like it. what did i ever do to him for him to treat me like this? he would be more caring towards his dog! and what should i do now?

Meathlass

babydoll2008 wrote: »

Was meeting a guy since last feb, it was off and on, off more than on now then. We slept together for the first time back in april, i was a virgin so ya he was my first.

For the summer i was in england and we kept in touch with the odd text. i used come over once or twice a month and we used meet up and slept together each time. everything was going good. came home in september and we met up again a night. same in october/november and december. i met him at the start of dec and told him i wanted to stop this whole meeting every now and then and that it was like a booty call [which is was when i look back over it!] he said we would give a relationship a go. two weeks later it was the same crap again so i decided it would be best just to let it go for once and for all.

But then i find out my period was late. i decided to text him and tell him and he said its prob cause your stressed out. two weeks later he texts again and i was still late. i was also sick over christmas so i just put it down to that, but two weeks ago i discovered that i was actually pregnant at the time and thats why i was late but i only found that out when i had a miscarriage. I told him. and all i got was o right. he never asked how i was, how i was coping, was i ok or even came to see me....nothing....i've gone through hell in the past two weeks due to complications and other crap. i've had to go through this without him, my friends are really worried cause i'm hardly eating but i just dont feel like it. what did i ever do to him for him to treat me like this? he would be more caring towards his dog! and what should i do now?

Forget him. You're right, you were just a booty call and when it got complicated he couldn't be counted on. Look after yourself and accept your friends help to look after you and make sure you're getting the right medical care.

Iago

you picked the wrong person to lose your virginity to ~ most people do

and then you exaggerated that problem by getting pregnant, before expecting a guy who obviously couldn't care less to be there for you.

While I appreciate you're going through a horrible time it seems very simple what you do next. Speak to a friend or family member you trust, or seek out a professional you can talk to, it's important not to bottle up or ignore your pain. As for your ex, forget him and move on.

GAAman

babydoll2008 wrote: »

What did i do wrong?

Answer- Nothing

It sounds like you were right in thinking to him it was a booty call and when what happened to you happened he freaked out and was relieved with the miscarriage. Better to turn your back and find someone better you deserve it

microgirl

What do you do now? Ingore him, put him behind you, and move on. You're right, you *were* just a booty call, plan and simple. What did you do wrong? Nothing a lot of innocent and naive young folk before you haven't done - that is hook up with - and more importantly, sleep with - someone who was only in it for the sex in the first place.

You've had a hard lesson, and a terrifying wake-up call, but the best thing you can do now (IMO) is chalk it up to experience, learn from it, and put this selfish idiot out of your life. You mean nothing to him, and he sure as heck shouldn't mean anything to you

rainbowtrout

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage babydoll. It can't be easy for you.

I think you've answered your own question here. You were a booty call. He didn't want a relationship, just sex. If he was concerned about you having a miscarriage/being pregnant he would have made the effort. I think there might be a few posts later on that will suggest he might have just freaked out about the situation, but I think overall it sounds like he is just not interested.

I think you should just put it down to experience, albeit a bad one and try to move on. It sounds like you have good friends who care about you. that's where you will get your support, perhaps go and see a counsellor if you want someone professional to talk to.

cheridere

babydoll2008 wrote: »

Was meeting a guy since last feb, it was off and on, off more than on now then. We slept together for the first time back in april, i was a virgin so ya he was my first.

For the summer i was in england and we kept in touch with the odd text. i used come over once or twice a month and we used meet up and slept together each time. everything was going good. came home in september and we met up again a night. same in october/november and december. i met him at the start of dec and told him i wanted to stop this whole meeting every now and then and that it was like a booty call [which is was when i look back over it!] he said we would give a relationship a go. two weeks later it was the same crap again so i decided it would be best just to let it go for once and for all.

But then i find out my period was late. i decided to text him and tell him and he said its prob cause your stressed out. two weeks later he texts again and i was still late. i was also sick over christmas so i just put it down to that, but two weeks ago i discovered that i was actually pregnant at the time and thats why i was late but i only found that out when i had a miscarriage. I told him. and all i got was o right. he never asked how i was, how i was coping, was i ok or even came to see me....nothing....i've gone through hell in the past two weeks due to complications and other crap. i've had to go through this without him, my friends are really worried cause i'm hardly eating but i just dont feel like it. what did i ever do to him for him to treat me like this? he would be more caring towards his dog! and what should i do now?

I hope you feel better soon,,,,
This guy is a complete waster, ignore him and move on!

Meathlass

You were expecting him to act like your boyfriend and be all concerned and come to see you. Sadly that wasn't the circumstances, you did nothing wrong and we've all been there. Not with such unfortunate outcomes however. At lease now you know. Delete his number.

Lollipops23

you poor thing babydoll.

I know most other posters are saying that it was just a bootycall and hence he felt no obligation to be there for you when you were going through all that, but he agreed to start a relationship with you and then deserted you when you needed him most. And it wasn't like it was something that didn't involve him either!!what a lowlife, you're much better off without him,

As for your own problem, perhaps you should find a grief counsellor?it might help you accept what happened and move on with your life. Good luck X

Balmed Out

Be glad you dont need to see this guy again. Hes an asshole and im sure you deserve better. Hope you feel better about everything soon. Talk to your friends about your miscarriage, if something is upsetting you like that its not right to keep it to yourself.

St Bill

You've had a rough time of it OP. First you found out you're unexpectedly pregnant, then you had a miscarriage. And to top it all off, the child's father had the sensitivity of a piece of wood. Any of these problems on their own is more than enough to deal with at any one time. I hope you've surrounded yourself with friends and family to get you through this, because it'd be fairly impossible to get through this on your own. Give yourself time to get over this.

Dragan

To be honest you better off forgetting about this jackass.

Not the kind of guy you need in your life. You didn't do a thing wrong....he's just a moron.

Hope your doing okay OP.

Oryx

You did everything right. You said what you felt about the 'booty call' and asked for changes. When they didnt happen you were honest and ended things. When you felt you might be pregnant you told him upfront. You are dealing with your miscarriage alone, pretty much and seem very strong about it. Your only mistake was trusting a man who wasnt worthy of it. At least he showed his true colours before you were in any deeper with him.

Dont waste time wondering what you should have done, youre the good one in this. Just get well after all youve been through. I hope you meet a decent guy in the future.

babydoll2008

Thank everyone for the support! He is a prick/moran/asshole/jackass and a lot more too. its hard considering i will end up seeing him out but i feel it has made me stronger and my friends are been great and thanks to all of ye too for the support.