Should I ring hospital

Meathlass

While driving to work yesterday I was the first person on the scene of an accident. A female pedestrian was hit by another car at about 40mph, when I arrived a few minutes later she was lying on ground unconsciousness and he was calling ambulance. I looked for neighbours (none, it was in country and there was no one in her house) She had been thrown up on the windscreen which she'd cracked with her head, her wellington boots were about 50m apart on the road and there was blood on the ground and she was bleeding from her head.

Anyway to keep this short, I waited till ambulance came, she regained consciousness and I tried to keep her awake, but she was mumbling and crying. When I finally got to work I realised my clothes and my coat and towels I used were covered in her blood and hair.

I found out her name and now I'm wondering if I should ring the hospital to see how she is. I don't want to talk to her or her family, I just want to see if she is ok. I know this is selfish but I think it will put my mind at ease. I spent over an hour sitting holding her hand while she was lying on the road and i was upset about it last night. I'm quite stressed out with work anyway at the moment so I couldn't sleep and I kept seeing her lying and crying on the ground. Do you think it's inappropiate to ring hospital, will family be annoyed? Will the hospital even give me any info?

Mitch Connor

Meathlass wrote: »

While driving to work yesterday I was the first person on the scene of an accident. A female pedestrian was hit by another car at about 40mph, when I arrived a few minutes later she was lying on ground unconsciousness and he was calling ambulance. I looked for neighbours (none, it was in country and there was no one in her house) She had been thrown up on the windscreen which she'd cracked with her head, her wellington boots were about 50m apart on the road and there was blood on the ground and she was bleeding from her head.

Anyway to keep this short, I waited till ambulance came, she regained consciousness and I tried to keep her awake, but she was mumbling and crying. When I finally got to work I realised my clothes and my coat and towels I used were covered in her blood and hair.

I found out her name and now I'm wondering if I should ring the hospital to see how she is. I don't want to talk to her or her family, I just want to see if she is ok. I know this is selfish but I think it will put my mind at ease. I spent over an hour sitting holding her hand while she was lying on the road and i was upset about it last night. Do you think it's inappropiate to ring hospital, will family be annoyed? Will the hospital even give me any info?

The hospital won't tell you anything as you are not a member of family, they also need the consent of the patient to even speak to family in a lot of cases.

dunser

Yea go ahead and ring them I would

Overheal

you wont know until you try calling them up now will you?

Call up the hospital - you get the front desk. If they can tell you anything (ie. is not restricted to immediate family) the secretary/nurse can tell you over the phone.

Overthinking this methinks. Ring. Even if they tell you no at least you'll know something.

Meathlass

Tauren wrote: »

The hospital won't tell you anything as you are not a member of family, they also need the consent of the patient to even speak to family in a lot of cases.

That's what I thought. I know where she lives and I was thinking of calling in a few weeks as I have some hair clips belonging to her but I feel very unsure of this. I'd much rather ring the hospital and see how she is and just post the hair clips through the door.

denhaagenite

You poor thing, how awful. Explain to whoever you get through to at the hospital everything and maybe they'll let you know. Alternatively call to the hospital and they'll probably let you in to see her if that's what you want. She and her family will probably be delighted to hear from you, and very grateful.

ballooba

Meathlass wrote: »

That's what I thought. I know where she lives and I was thinking of calling in a few weeks as I have some hair clips belonging to her but I feel very unsure of this. I'd much rather ring the hospital and see how she is and just post the hair clips through the door.

I'm not sure about that. Sometimes people don't like getting stuff from accident scene because it reminds them of it.

Celticfire

Just ring them. Explain who you are and what you did and your concern for that person. If they tell you that they can't tell you anything due to patient confidentially at least you'll have put your mind at ease. It's not everyday that most people are up close and personal with someone that has been that badly injured so it's understandable that you would feel concern

GhostInTheRuins

Give them a call. Find out what ward she's in and ask for the number of the ward. Explain it to whoever answers in the ward and I'm sure they'll let you know how she is. It'll do no harm and you've nothing to lose except a couple of minutes.

Overheal

I'd say you would at least get the slip-in that yeah the person is ok (or not) even if you cant be given any patient details.

Meathlass

ballooba wrote: »

I'm not sure about that. Sometimes people don't like getting stuff from accident scene because it reminds them of it.

That's why I don't want to visit her in her house, even though I wasn't involved in the accident.

I just rang hospital, they just said she's stable and a bit dizzy but the nurse looking after her couldn't come to phone so they said to try and ring later. The receptionist didn't know any of the details of the crash or the aftermath.

Gumbyman

denhaagenite wrote: »

You poor thing, how awful. Explain to whoever you get through to at the hospital everything and maybe they'll let you know. Alternatively call to the hospital and they'll probably let you in to see her if that's what you want. She and her family will probably be delighted to hear from you, and very grateful.

+1. Well done on your reaction to the situation. You have a big heart. The family will be very happy to see you or hear from you. If the nurses wont tell you anything ask them to pass a message to the family with your phone number or ask the nurse to ask the family for permission to let you know how she is when you call next time. I hope to God she gets through it ok. You're a good person.

BobTheBeat

Listen, you should be very proud of yourself. It took a lot of courage and strength to stay with her during that. If contacting the family puts you at ease, then you should do it. They would be glad to hear from you, I know I would. I wouldnt worry about giving back the hair clips.

If you feel this is on your mind a bit too much for comfort, then you should go and see a counsellor. All too often, the people who help out at the scene of a serious accident become deeply affected by the event, because nobody talks to them about how they really feel. At the more extreme end of it, people have been known to experience post traumatic stress. Dont be ashamed of how you feel, you are only human (and a very good one at that).

Meathlass

Gumbyman wrote: »

+1. Well done on your reaction to the situation. You have a big heart. The family will be very happy to see you or hear from you. If the nurses wont tell you anything ask them to pass a message to the family with your phone number or ask the nurse to ask the family for permission to let you know how she is when you call next time. I hope to God she gets through it ok. You're a good person.

I was just really worried that'd she'd have a brain injury as she was so incoherent. I don't think her or her family would appreciate my fishing around for info but I don't want to have to pass her house every day thinking she's lying inside paralysed or brain damaged. I don't want to risk giving her back her stuff or sending a card unless she's ok, if that makes sense. If I was seriously injuried in an accident I would be incensed by someone I didn't know asking about me and sending me cards.

BanzaiBk

Hey, as someone who works for the HSE I can tell you that no matter what you tell someone at the end of the phone they cannot give you out any information. There has been a massive crackdown on this in recent weeks among management and now the standard line is "if your not family and have not been approved by the patient/patient's NOK then we cannot divulge any details regarding this patient". Before maybe someone would have been more lenient given the circumstance but after recent times I can't see this happening.

Meathlass

bobmeaney wrote: »

Listen, you should be very proud of yourself. It took a lot of courage and strength to stay with her during that. If contacting the family puts you at ease, then you should do it. They would be glad to hear from you, I know I would. I wouldnt worry about giving back the hair clips.

If you feel this is on your mind a bit too much for comfort, then you should go and see a counsellor. All too often, the people who help out at the scene of a serious accident become deeply affected by the event, because nobody talks to them about how they really feel. At the more extreme end of it, people have been known to experience post traumatic stress. Dont be ashamed of how you feel, you are only human (and a very good one at that).

Thanks for that. I'm fine, it was just a shock yesterday. Plus I was out in cold and rain for over an hour with just a skimpy t-shirt on as I'd taken off all my layers to put over her so I think I was just really cold and worn out last night. That combined with work stress explains why I couldn't sleep. I've come across similar scenes before and had to help sick family members too and it always hits me like this a day or so later.

Meathlass

BanzaiBk wrote: »

Hey, as someone who works for the HSE I can tell you that no matter what you tell someone at the end of the phone they cannot give you out any information. There has been a massive crackdown on this in recent weeks among management and now the standard line is "if your not family and have not been approved by the patient/patient's NOK then we cannot divulge any details regarding this patient". Before maybe someone would have been more lenient given the circumstance but after recent times I can't see this happening.

Yeah I thought this would be the case, I'm suprised they told me as much as they did tbh. Maybe I'll just send in a bunch of flowers tomorrow, will they take them off me at the desk and give them to her?

Miss Fluff

Fair play to you, I am sure the girl in question will be eternally grateful to you. Having this hit you after the event has passed is perfectly natural, in times of stress you are running on adrenaline and it is often only after the event that you get a "come down" and the realisation of what you have witnessed can be like a thunderbolt. You did something very brave so just remember that. If you are that stressed with work as well you should think about taking a couple of days off and pampering yourself.:)

BanzaiBk

Meathlass wrote: »

Yeah I thought this would be the case, I'm suprised they told me as much as they did tbh. Maybe I'll just send in a bunch of flowers tomorrow, will they take them off me at the desk and give them to her?

Yep, they'll pass them on the family or the patient depending on her condition etc.

Meathlass

Thanks everyone, I'm going to call out to the hospital tomorrow and leave some flowers for her.

AngryBadger

Meathlass wrote: »

I know this is selfish but I think it will put my mind at ease.

I don't think that's selfish at all, I think fair dews to you for stopping to help!

I'm not sure what the hospital can disclose legally, but I wouldn't see the harm in ringing just to ask.

Meathlass

AngryBadger wrote: »

I don't think that's selfish at all, I think fair dews to you for stopping to help!

I'm not sure what the hospital can disclose legally, but I wouldn't see the harm in ringing just to ask.

Actually that's one thing I found really strange. Myself and a middle aged woman who was bringing her teenage son to school, arrived at the same time, she was in front of me. I got out of car, saw what was going on, went back to car, parked it properly and got out blankets, towels etc. She sat in her car the whole time. I told her what was going on and that the ambulance was on the way and she just said fine and drove around the prone woman and continued on driving. I know there was no point in lots of people hanging around (later on I actively tried to move traffic on as it was becoming a circus) but everyone else got out of their cars and offered coats or fleeces. I suppose some people have phobia's of this sort of stuff for genuine reasons but still a bit wierd, I thought.

Marksie

Just of interest.

Did you say anything to the gards as you were first on the scene?

But well done for staying and helping

Meathlass

Marksie wrote: »

Just of interest.

Did you say anything to the gards as you were first on the scene?

But well done for staying and helping

The guards spoke to the driver who hit her and then told everyone they'd have to reverse as they were closing the road to take measurements. I'd been standing really close to them the whole time, unlike the other people who were stuck in traffic who were standing about 20m away. They didn't say anything. I went up to the bangarda and she took my name and number but not expecting her to call as I didn't see anything. It was all over when I got there.

Marksie

OK :-).
But it was really good of you to do what your did.
Nice to see such a personality

Meathlass

Marksie wrote: »

OK :-).
But it was really good of you to do what your did.
Nice to see such a personality

Thanks:o

Drift

Meathlass wrote: »

Actually that's one thing I found really strange. Myself and a middle aged woman who was bringing her teenage son to school, arrived at the same time, she was in front of me. I got out of car, saw what was going on, went back to car, parked it properly and got out blankets, towels etc. She sat in her car the whole time. I told her what was going on and that the ambulance was on the way and she just said fine and drove around the prone woman and continued on driving. I know there was no point in lots of people hanging around (later on I actively tried to move traffic on as it was becoming a circus) but everyone else got out of their cars and offered coats or fleeces. I suppose some people have phobia's of this sort of stuff for genuine reasons but still a bit wierd, I thought.

I wouldn't be too hard on this woman. She may have had a family member killed in a similar car accident or she may have been trying to protect her son. I presume if you weren't there she would have stayed around. Fair play to you for doing the right thing and your very best, if there were more people like you around the world would be a better place.

Boggles

Contact the guards, tell them you minded the woman and you have some of her stuff. They might tell you a few details.

Meathlass

Drift wrote: »

I wouldn't be too hard on this woman. She may have had a family member killed in a similar car accident or she may have been trying to protect her son. I presume if you weren't there she would have stayed around. Fair play to you for doing the right thing and your very best, if there were more people like you around the world would be a better place.

You're probably right, can only imagine what it would be like to have someone die in an accident and then come accross one.

ballooba

WRT people not stopping or not offering help. I've encountered this before and sometimes it's because they've experienced trauma themselves before. I wouldn't think too much about it.

vorbis

Congrats on helping out OP. I'd say the woman would be delighted to hear from you. A really nice thing you did for her.

Meathlass

Rang hospital back again and spoke to nurse who's treating her. She is fully conscious but very dizzy. Has no appetite but apart from that seems to be fine. Her condition is stable. Will drop over flowers if I have time tomorrow (it's a 2 hr round trip) Glad to hear she seems to be ok. Was really stressing out about it.

Thanks for all the advice here.

Lizzykins

You should be very proud of what you did. I was first on the scene of an accident about 15 years ago. A youngster fell off his bike.We weren't sure if he had been hit by a car. Anyway the ambulance took him away and we heard no more. Several months later we were in a pub locally -one we wouldnt be in too often. Someone sent us over a round of drinks and it turned out to be the young lad's parents. They had spent ages trying to find out who we were to thank us and even had us mentioned in mass! I remember kneeling on the ground with the boy and being mighty cold etc when I got up. I was a number of months pregnant at the time and it was bloody uncomfortable! One of my better good deeds.

Boggles

Meathlass wrote: »

Rang hospital back again and spoke to nurse who's treating her. She is fully conscious but very dizzy. Has no appetite but apart from that seems to be fine. Her condition is stable. Will drop over flowers if I have time tomorrow (it's a 2 hr round trip) Glad to hear she seems to be ok. Was really stressing out about it.

Thanks for all the advice here.

Great what you done. You might have the Florence Nightingale effect?

Meathlass

Boggles wrote: »

Great what you done. You might have the Florence Nightingale effect?

God no, I have absolutely no patience. I'd be the worst nurse in the world!

Boggles

Meathlass wrote: »

God no, I have absolutely no patience. I'd be the worst nurse in the world!

Florence Nightengale effect is when you fall for the patient.

Meathlass

Boggles wrote: »

Florence Nightengale effect is when you fall for the patient.

Well considering she was a middle age woman with a husband and 2 kids she's not my type! Doubt I'm her's either

Boggles

Meathlass wrote: »

Well considering she was a middle age woman with a husband and 2 kids she's not my type! Doubt I'm her's either

Haha. Suppose not.