hurt by new boyf's comment..

LegacyUser

Hey, I'm fairly sure I'm going to be told I'm being sad and petty but I just spoke to my new boyfriend on the phone and he referred to my legs as being 'short' and this is something I'm insecure about. Like I know he didn't mean any harm in it, but I'm hurt that he said it, and i'm afraid it's going to affect me next time we're together, sex as been great so far as I wasn't feeling any hangups, but now that he said it, I've got back inhibitions with regards when I'm with him.

Please advise, should I say it to him? WE're two months together, just sex in last two weeks, maybe that's why he was thinking it..

finbarrk

He was probably joking, if you tell him that a certain part of him is also short see how he'll take it!

junkster12345

stop being silly, saying someone has short legs is not an insult and should not be taken as one, but sure if its bothering you then say it to him so he wont say such mean and nasty things in the future !:D

whatsgoinon

if he is making fun of something you are insecure about, lose him. My housemate was seeing a total tool a few months ago, he knew where her weak spots were, he pushed all her buttons to the point where she is considering a nose job and lipo on her stomach. shocking. Even though they are not seeing each other anymore, she is still guzzling slimfast.

you don't need someone to prey on your insecurities, you need someone to tell you they care about you and compliment you on your positive features as opposed to finding fault with you

DinoBot

Sounds like he could have been joking. I used to always say stupid things like that to my girlfriend (now wife). It was my way of breaking the ice. But sometimes Id really put my foot in it :rolleyes:

Speak to him about it, tell him you didn't like it when he said that, its always good to talk.

milod

whatsgoinon wrote: »

Even though they are not seeing each other anymore, she is still guzzling slimfast.

you don't need someone to prey on your insecurities, you need someone to tell you they care about you and compliment you on your positive features as opposed to finding fault with you

This is all true, but at the same time, the OP is an adult and you can't go through life expecting to always hear what you want to hear. That sort of approach only encourages a victim mentality.

@OP, get this out in the open ASAP. Tell him you didn't like it, and why. If he does it again then you know he's preying on your insecurities, or he's just an a55h0le... and as finbarrk said you could ask him how he'd feel if you referred to him as 'short leg' too! He probably thinks he's funny and that your legs are dead cute!

Either way, when dealing with a guy - talk straight - don't dress it up - don't expect him to psychically deduce the reason for your annoyance. Also, you need to do it soon - don't let this become the Elephant in the Corner of the (bed)Room.

Singer73

Def say it to him

event

whatsgoinon wrote: »

if he is making fun of something you are insecure about, lose him. My housemate was seeing a total tool a few months ago, he knew where her weak spots were, he pushed all her buttons to the point where she is considering a nose job and lipo on her stomach. shocking. Even though they are not seeing each other anymore, she is still guzzling slimfast.

you don't need someone to prey on your insecurities, you need someone to tell you they care about you and compliment you on your positive features as opposed to finding fault with you

or maybe he didnt know that she was sensitive about it, seeing as it is only two months.

OP, forget about it, sure he was probably joking and didnt realise

fuzzywiggle

Love your short legs!! If short legs is the only thing you have to worry about hun, then you're laughin!
Tell him how you felt when he said it. Communication is key, even if you think it's silly to tell him!

Wibbs

milod wrote: »

This is all true, but at the same time, the OP is an adult and you can't go through life expecting to always hear what you want to hear. That sort of approach only encourages a victim mentality.

@OP, get this out in the open ASAP. Tell him you didn't like it, and why. If he does it again then you know he's preying on your insecurities, or he's just an a55h0le... and as finbarrk said you could ask him how he'd feel if you referred to him as 'short leg' too! He probably thinks he's funny and that your legs are dead cute!

Either way, when dealing with a guy - talk straight - don't dress it up - don't expect him to psychically deduce the reason for your annoyance. Also, you need to do it soon - don't let this become the Elephant in the Corner of the (bed)Room.

Nail on the head.

Mr. Incognito

JC. Get a grip. Tell him what- "you called my legs short. I'm so hurt. "

Stop over-analyzing. I'm sure it was a throw-away comment. Throw it away and move on.

minidazzler

He might like short legs??? The comment is innocent in itself. You are overthinking.

Mazeire

what height are you? I mean if you are 5 foot tall you'd look pretty insane with 36 inch legs. If you have short legs you have short legs. Its not like he said "God look at the cellulite and varicose veins on those!!!"
As a side OP, i'm over 6ft and my legs are nearly 40 inch which ain't no party either let me tell you.

Stargal

What was the context of him saying your legs were short? Was he slagging you? Making a joke? Just saying it in passing? ("I just noticed that the guy sitting beside me in work has really short legs - even shorter than yours!"). If he was being mean then you need to nip that in the bud and explain that just isn't acceptable. If he was just mentioning it then well, don't worry about it, it's not the end of the world.

I'm with milod - get it out in the open before it develops into some kind of hang-up and become far bigger than it actually is.

Tar.Aldarion

Women..
You say you KNOW he didn't mean harm by it. He called you short, you are short, there is no problem. If you don't want to be called short just tell him.
A lot of people prefer short girls, it's practically a compliment in my book.

Miss Fluff

manyu wrote: »

Hey, I'm fairly sure I'm going to be told I'm being sad and petty but I just spoke to my new boyfriend on the phone and he referred to my legs as being 'short' and this is something I'm insecure about.

In what context? Did he phone you up and say

"f8ck me but your legs are very bloody short you little hobbit person"

or

"sexy little short legs, so looking forward to next time"

or........

How exactly and in what context did he say you have short legs?

Did he phone you up to tell you that?

Jigsaw

OP should mention it in an understated way to her boyfriend if it has annoyed her but it is essential that it is done in an understated way because there is every chance that the boyfriend meant nothing by it and will be freaked out when the OP brings up some comment that he probably doesn't remember making.

Just a bit of common sense needed, that's all.

The_B_Man

OP, he woulda noticed ur "short" legs when ya first met, or at least in the first week. yet he still has no problem bein with ya. does that not say something to ya? Thats hes willing to stick by ya, despite ur "disability"?

SarahSassy

Did he already know that your short legs were a sore subject for you before he made the comment?

Zombrex

manyu wrote: »

Hey, I'm fairly sure I'm going to be told I'm being sad and petty but I just spoke to my new boyfriend on the phone and he referred to my legs as being 'short' and this is something I'm insecure about. Like I know he didn't mean any harm in it, but I'm hurt that he said it, and i'm afraid it's going to affect me next time we're together, sex as been great so far as I wasn't feeling any hangups, but now that he said it, I've got back inhibitions with regards when I'm with him.

Please advise, should I say it to him? WE're two months together, just sex in last two weeks, maybe that's why he was thinking it..

To be honest it sounds like your boyfriend was simply engaging in some light hearted slagging.

If you do bring it up with him make sure you make it clear that you aren't blaming him for anything (because really he hasn't done anything), that you are insecure about your legs.

if you do it in a non-blamie way he should get the hint without getting densive.

b3t4

Look, here's the thing, you're boyfriend cannot read your mind.

Tell him that you are insecure about your legs and that even though you know he meant nothing by what he said, you are little sensitive about comments about your legs. Be serious when broaching this with him as otherwise he may feel it's ok to tease you about it.

If he throws a comment about your legs at you again then there are far better men out there.

A

LegacyUser

Hey guys, so many replies,thanks for the kick up the ass, needed that! The context was that I had just been saying that I was walking home quickly in little steps and he said well of course sure you have short legs! That was it.. but he said I had great legs when I mentioned it to him.. and I know he likes my body. I guess I'm a girl and I think great legs are long legs.. but he is absolutely complimentary all the time to me and I shouldn't have got excited about it the way I did. Feel a bit silly really, guess there's a lot worse things in life.

Cheers again )

Crash

Probably meant it the same way I do when I say that to anyone - I figure anyone shorter than me has short legs

randylonghorn

Meh ... you have short legs, we have big feet, and we constantly do our best to shove them into our mouths ... you had best get used to it, we all do it from time to time (I bet even Marksie has done it at some stage! )

If he was sticking a pin in you, fair enough, but that was a throwaway comment which I guarantee you came straight out of his mouth with little or no interaction with brain cells!

Marksie

randylonghorn wrote: »

(I bet even Marksie has done it at some stage! )

Oh absolutely and tbh reading what the b/freind said that is the type of comment i would say. .

But not out of malice or putting people down.
Its the type of casual comment between a couple that happens. Perhaps the more so if they are comfortable with each other.

But if i was in "cheeky" mode i might add that it makes no difference when wrapped around etc. etc

It could even be meant in a very affectionate way, its all in the delivery

You CAN tell when its meant in a derogatory sense, no two ways about it.

Still having said that, it can sometimes be said at the wrong moment and be taken up the wrong way. In which case deal with the comment then and there and do not fret for ages about it.
Dont get upset or worry in future OP, just query what they meant.

SarahSassy

manyu wrote: »

Hey guys, so many replies,thanks for the kick up the ass, needed that! The context was that I had just been saying that I was walking home quickly in little steps and he said well of course sure you have short legs! That was it.. but he said I had great legs when I mentioned it to him.. and I know he likes my body. I guess I'm a girl and I think great legs are long legs.. but he is absolutely complimentary all the time to me and I shouldn't have got excited about it the way I did. Feel a bit silly really, guess there's a lot worse things in life.

Cheers again )

Oh hello, who feels like the silly billy with the short legs now????

chump

OHMY G-O-D

You have ridiculously short legs, get over it.
What about some poor sods with no legs, or legs that point backwards.

You really need to start reading a few sad stories about poor unfortunates who lead great and fulfilling lives. It'll help cheer you up and put into perspective your ridiculously short legs.

jdivision

he made a statement of fact. You have short legs. That's all there is to it.

Overheal

We guys tend to say things without a great deal of pre-meditation. For example I once tried to tell a girl that spending time with her was cutting into my college and really affecting my grades and friends: it came out pretty much as 'I'm spending too much of my personal time on you...'

This must be hilarious to a girl.... but seriously I was just trying to convey look: I need to go do other things!

let the leg comment go.

milkerman

Great legs can be short, long or somewhere in the middle.
You are sensitive about your legs, your bf was not to know that. In any event he meant no malice.
Have fun.

LegacyUser

manyu wrote: »

Please advise, should I say it to him? WE're two months together, just sex in last two weeks, maybe that's why he was thinking it..

Wear high heels. Helps.